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Photo: Craig Blankenhorn/HBO Max
Have you ever had a distant relative get sick, and suddenly you feel guilty for not talking to them at the last family gathering? You think about calling, just to check in, but the relationship’s already frayed — they’ll know it’s because of the diagnosis, and the call will drip with pity. That’s how I feel about And Just Like That … I was an avid viewer in season one (I needed me some Che), tried my best with season two (watched the finale, skipped a few in between), and now I haven’t seen a single episode of the third and final season. I feel awful. Is it because of drop-off viewers like me that Sarah Jessica Parker was forced to post one of the strangest Instagram Reels ever? It feels wrong to go back and watch now that it’s been canceled. Maybe And Just Like That … will be like van Gogh: more valuable, easier to appreciate, after death.
Still, I’m a gay guy in New York City with a Twitter account (refusing to call it X is 2025’s p*ssy hat) who works at this magazine, so I have peripheral vision into what happened this season. Here is everything I think I know about the final season of And Just Like That … from most confident to full-on conjecture.
• Aidan is still a pathetic, hideous loser who should be disenfranchised.
• Rosie O’Donnell is a virgin lesbian nun who loves Wicked (this describes so many people I know, honestly).
• Someone texts Samantha.
• Something happens with a garden. Maybe that’s why the NIMBYs took back the Elizabeth Street Garden.
• Patti LuPone voluntarily got herself canceled by The New Yorker to promote her guest appearance on the show.
• Andy Cohen makes a cameo? How does he have time for that? He seems extremely busy in real life.
• Christopher Jackson’s wife, who edits documentaries in her walk-in closet, mourned her father for the second time.
• Seema smoked a cigarette that made her have a stroke.
• Carrie is now writing fiction, but every draft devolves into that fairy smut that everyone is obsessed with.
• The podcast crew has fully vanished. Was there a rapture in the AJLT universe?
• Charlotte’s kids are having sex now … impossible to say which one. Perhaps they have invented a new one and are trying to convince us she’s always had Stacey.
• Anthony continues to violently sexually harass strapping gay men and it’s somehow still not deemed problematic.
• Miranda relapses, but this time it’s only peppermint schnapps.
• The horny professor who is also on The Morning Show is gone without explanation. (Was she raptured, too?)
• Christopher Jackson’s wife, who edits documentaries in her walk-in closet, has the most durable kitchen cabinets of all time.
•Miranda is now a journalist, forced to write AI explainers for Politico.
• Charlotte starts doing land acknowledgments in their breakfast nook … This confuses Harry endlessly.
• Aidan’s new bar is somehow Ray’s. He turned Greenpoint into this??
• Carrie inevitably moves again (this time it’s completely emotionless) and ends up filing suit against Piece of Cake.
• Seema has an orgasm so big she believes in God again. This causes her to reconnect with her mother, who is probably a diplomat.
• Steve’s teeth fall out, and he falls in love with his dental hygienist, whose name is Snake.
• Christopher Jackson’s wife, who edits documentaries in her walk-in closet, is working on a new film about the most powerful thing in the world: music.