Pay Dirt is Slate’s money advice column. Have a question? Send it to Kristin and Ilyce here. (It’s anonymous!)

Dear Pay Dirt,

I am really burnt out at my job, and I’ve got an idea for how to fix it. My lease is up in a few months, and I’d like to quit my job, sell my stuff, and go to Southeast Asia. I have $80,000 in a 401(k). It is my only savings, for anything. I would like to take this money out and stay in Southeast Asia for as long as it lasts me. I know someone who did this, you can spend three months in Thailand, three months in Vietnam, etc., and live very cheaply. I think this is a good plan, and it’s the only thing that has made me feel anything but despair in a very long time.

But my best friend says I’ll be “throwing my future away” if I do this. I think it doesn’t really matter. I’m 42 years old and it’s not like I was ever going to be able to retire with that money anyway. I’ll just start over when I get a new job after my big adventure. Please tell me that this is OK.

—Burnt Out

Dear Burnt Out,

Let’s start with the math. Once you withdraw from your 401(k) early, taxes (24 percent federal, plus applicable state taxes) and the 10 percent early-withdrawal penalty will take a big chunk of that $80,000. Your remaining funds—about $50,000—might still take you far, but also might go faster than you think. And when that money is gone, you’re not just starting over—you’re starting over with zero savings, a gap in your work history, and maybe even the same burnout.

That said, your friend is exaggerating a bit when they say you’re “throwing your future away.” People rebuild careers and retirement savings in their 40s and 50s all the time. But you might also be underestimating the consequences. There’s a good chance you’re downplaying the risks because you’re desperate for relief. There’s the opportunity cost of pulling out your retirement, too. Just to put things in perspective, $80,000 at age 42, left invested until around age 67, might realistically earn $300,000 to $500,000, depending on returns. In other words, this isn’t just $80,000—it’s potentially several hundred thousand dollars of future retirement money if you were to leave it invested.

If you’re looking for a break from the burnout (and I’m sure you genuinely need one) consider versions of your idea that don’t require defunding your retirement account. You could take a shorter trip you fund by selling your stuff. You could quit your job, but keep the savings intact and give yourself a more defined, affordable window abroad—or even just a gap year at home. You could find a lower‑stress, part-time job while you figure things out. There are so many options that give you some breathing room without wiping out the only long‑term asset you have.

Take the trip if you want, but design a version of it that doesn’t leave you with nothing to land on if you decide to come back.

Please keep questions short (<150 words), and don‘t submit the same question to multiple columns. We are unable to edit or remove questions after publication. Use pseudonyms to maintain anonymity. Your submission may be used in other Slate advice columns and may be edited for publication.

Dear Pay Dirt,

My daughter is in college at a four-year university, in the second semester of her junior year. The school is in-state, and we pay for her tuition, room and board, and expenses. She has an on-campus job for extra money, too. My wife and I saved carefully to be able to pay for her school, and we are proud to be able to do it.

Well, our daughter called yesterday with a proposition. She has found out that she has an enough credits to graduate one year early, at the end of this semester! She wants to know if we will give her the tuition and housing money in cash if she does that. My immediate thought was that no, we wouldn’t be able to do that—we saved for her tuition using our state’s 529 plan, and so the money we pull from that has to go to educational expenses. I’m not sure why, but it feels wrong to me, for her to ask for the tuition money as a cash. My wife thinks that we should at least try to negotiate with my daughter on something that seems fair. I feel like this is money that we saved specifically for her education. A “gap year” after university is not what we intended. Please advise.

—Disappointed Dad

Dear Disappointed Dad,

Let’s look at the logistics. You’re right—529 withdrawals generally have to be used for qualified educational expenses. If your daughter graduates early and you take out funds for non‑education purposes, you will likely owe taxes and penalties. There are a few exceptions (for example, if a student receives scholarships), but graduating early on its own usually doesn’t remove those taxes and penalties.

So what can you do with unused 529 funds? Aside from just taking it out and dealing with the taxes and penalties, you can change the beneficiary to another family member, roll it over into a Roth IRA, or use it to pay for K-12 education expenses. There are other options, too.

Of course, you don’t owe your daughter a year’s worth of tuition in cash, but your wife has a point. Graduating early can save parents tens of thousands of dollars, so offering some benefit might be fair and still responsible.

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As a compromise, you could decide that some portion of the savings can support your daughter’s transition into life after college. That might mean helping with a security deposit, a few months of living expenses, or funding some kind of professional program or certification. If she wants to take a gap year, great, but if you’re against just giving her the funds as a gift, you might consider “rewarding” her by paying for a specific expense.

Either way, this doesn’t need to be a negotiation. Having parents pay for tuition is a privilege. It’s wonderful that she’s graduating early, and you can celebrate that without forking over a year’s worth of tuition. On the other hand, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to give your daughter a little extra financial help in a world where most of us are struggling financially in some way. For you, it sounds like it’s about making a decision on your terms so that it’s about supporting your kid, not giving her something she feels she’s entitled to.

—Kristin

More Money Advice From Slate

Fifteen years ago, in my early 20s, I had a winning lottery ticket that paid just under $1 million after taxes. My older sister “Elena” made a case that she deserved a share because she stepped up and raised me after our single mom died when I was 7 and she was 20. But I knew giving Elena a pile of money outright would probably do her more harm than good, because at the time she was an active drug addict.

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