Another interpreted reference to his service: Throughout that time, RM had been most vocal about wanting to leave: The leader had even kept a countdown till the last, waiting to be free and reunite with his family, band, and fans. In fact, he had once shared with his fans, that for the first time in his life, RM wasn’t able to write songs, something that he had been doing since the age of 14. “I lived like a zombie,” he had said, explaining that even simple daily tasks became difficult and that he went more than 70 hours without sleep. He had fear of nightfall. Later he had explained Merry Go Round too: “During the military too, even living this life, I kept imagining a merry go round, I couldn’t get off..”
