A University of Ottawa (uOttawa) study of over 800 undergraduate students examined online romantic and sexual rejection and found that women were disproportionately represented in having someone they rejected send them aggressive responses.
According to the study, name-calling, racialized insults, sexualised slurs, harassment, stalking and threats of physical violence, from rape to death were some of the impacts of rejecting a potential online partner, mostly men. The study was conducted to provide a “real-world window” into online abuse facing those who engage in online relationships.
“This is one of the first studies to gather so many detailed firsthand accounts illustrating the wide range of problematic ways people respond to rejection online. While previous research has shown that these behaviours exist, our study systematically describes, analyzes, and illustrates through real-world narratives the kinds of abuse people experience,” explains lead author Konrad Czechowski, Assistant Professor in the School of Psychology.
Nearly half (47.7 per cent) of participants who rejected someone online reported experiencing aggressive responses, with 93 per cent of those senders being men, while 67 per cent of aggressive responses came from strangers.
The study drew from participants’ narratives where they describe a time they had to reject someone online and experienced an aggressive or over-the-top response. They were asked open-ended questions describing their experiences and researches coded patterns based on responses.
Some of the questions included being asked to describe the last time they had this kind of an experience, and if this happened to them multiple times, to also describe the most intense experience they had.
Their findings helped illuminate “rejection dynamics,” like entitlement to consent, insults and aggression which are triggered even by less overt forms of rejection like ghosting. Their findings are in line with established research theory that shows anonymity decreases social accountability and can turn into antisocial behaviour.
While severe responses of death threats (less than 1 per cent) and physical and sexual harm (less than 3 per cent) were rare, they still highlight important implications for targeted interventions, including educational campaigns on digital consent and respectful online communication.
“This research can help raise awareness that aggressive responses to rejection are real and a common online issue. It supports education around respectful communication, consent, and digital boundaries in online spaces. The findings also help us better understand how the perceived anonymity of online interactions may amplify hostility and reduce accountability,” adds Czechowski from the Faculty of Social Sciences.
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