Thank you, corporate overlords.
There’s no money in this banana stand.
Amazon has announced it’s launching the first Canadian Community Banana Stands in Vancouver and Toronto, offering free bananas every Wednesday starting at 8:30 a.m. until supplies run out (because fruit isn’t infinite).
This is a real thing.
“Built around the idea that a small act of generosity can brighten someone’s day, the initiative aims to spread joy, foster community connections, and bring people together through free, healthy snacks,” reads a press release.
The world’s largest corporation (by revenue) with annual global profits nearing $80 billion notes there are “no strings attached” to the free fruits.
It’s unclear whether the folks at Amazon ever played MarioKart, as this could lead to an unprecedented number of spin-outs at 402 Dunsmuir St., depending on people’s peel etiquette.
In an act of pure cruelty, they’ve also dubbed the workers at the stand “Banistas,” which is a tragic role to add to one’s LinkedIn profile. We would have suggested Professional Banana Handler.
Also, fun fact: bananas were originally domesticated in Southeast Asia, and were introduced to the Amazon only in the 16th century. If the corporation wanted to stay true to its name, they would offer everyone açaí or passion fruit.