Well. Yesterday sucked. Today sucks. Everything just sort of sucks right now. 

Obviously, I nixed Nightcaps yesterday in the wake of the Charlie Kirk murder. And yes, that’s what it was, and what we’ll be calling it here. Other outlets can say he “passed.” Or he was “shot.”

He was murdered by a scumbag who I pray to God will be caught by the time this class begins. There’s a problem in this country, and it’s becoming increasingly obvious what it is. 

You know it. I know it. I’m not going to use this class as a lecture (although, that’s usually what classes are for), but just know that I know. I see it. You see it. Charlie Kirk saw it. 

And now he’s dead. The violence has to stop. It’s disgusting. It’s reprehensible. It makes me sick to my stomach. 

Charlie Kirk’s murder has now kicked the murder of Iryna Zaruska to the bottom of the news cycle. Do you know how sad that is? The fact that one murder overshadows another, within days of each other? This is America. This crap doesn’t happen here. It can’t. It has to stop. 

That’s all I really want to say about it right now. This is Nightcaps. Folks need an outlet. Nightcaps was created for folks to use as an outlet after work. So, that’s what we’re going to do today. 

This is the edition that was supposed to run yesterday, before the Kirk assassination. It’s fun. It’s light (for the most part, thanks to The View gasbags). It has hot girls, hot takes, and hot food. 

Joe did an excellent job in Screencaps with a 9/11 tribute. I can’t top it, and I don’t want to. Read it here. Like I said, I want to keep the rest of this class light. I feel like we can all get on board with that, right?

So, let’s get to work. Let’s grind. Let’s have some fun. Let’s laugh for a bit. 

Yesterday sucked. Today sucks. Everything just sort of sucks right now. Let’s make it a little less sucky until the bell rings.  

Back to our regularly scheduled programming

(This was yesterday’s intro)

Welcome to a Hump Day Nightcaps – the one where we Make the Jets Great Again with Alina Habba, and go from there. 

What else? I’ve got Kay Adams working in one last summer heater before the weather map turns blue, Cracker Barrel handing us a huge win (this class, specifically) and the Dolphins breaking out their first banner of 2025. 

The first of many, I fear. 

Grab you a Hungry Man for National TV Dinner Day, and settle in for a Hump Day ‘Cap!

Let’s get this bird in the air!

We used to have it all, and we took it for granted. God, I loved a good TV dinner growing up. Anyone here remember Kid Cuisine? The best. 

Coming home from school to some pizza rolls and Lunchables, hammering a few hours of video games, and then washing it all down with some Kid Cuisine chicken nugs? My God. The 1990s were truly, and I mean truly, the best time to be alive. 

Do Hot Pockets count as a TV dinner? Between those, Kid Cuisine and Hungry Man (Men?), I was such a fat kid. But goodness, I was a happy one. 

The best. Again, we had it all, and we pissed it away. Unforgivable. 

Anyway, speaking of things that used to be great in the ‘80s and ’90s and STINK now, let’s check in with the Miami Dolphins!

Cracker Barrel is a year late, but still better than nothin’ 

Incredible. Yes! Sign me up, baby! I will donate my entire OutKick paycheck to this, and payday is tomorrow, so that works well!

I want everybody associated with this team sent to the moon. I’m done with ‘em. Every last one. And I’m a Tua guy! I’ve BEEN a Tua guy for five years now. I’ve defended him, ad nauseam. 

But I also now believe he’s the best current example of money changing people. It does. I have none, so I obviously don’t know. But pre-payday Tua compared to post-payday Tua is night and day. 

He’s a dick now. He sucked ASS on Sunday, and then had the audacity to call out the rest of the team after the game and say crap like ‘I’m interested to see who’s gonna be in the film room Tuesday.’

Buddy, YOU need to be in the film room Tuesday! You STUNK. Be quiet and complete a pass. 

Whew. What a RANT. Can’t wait to see this banner over Hard Rock this weekend. 

Now, while we’re on the topic of people being awful at their jobs … I’m sure everyone saw the big news out of Cracker Barrel yesterday, right? I was off, so Joe wrote it, but the geniuses in marketing finally decided to axe the ongoing remodels. 

A problem, by the way, that I called out A YEAR AGO:

Whoopi, Joy Kay & Alina, oh my!

I tweeted that out … last September! Nearly a year to the day, Cracker Barrel nixed the whole damn thing. It’s amazing that real people actually get paid money – big-time money, by the way – to make just horrible decisions. 

So, to recap. The logo? Back to normal. The decor? Back to normal. Now, the last part? The food. 

I’m not quite as down on the food as Joe is, but I’m also, admittedly, not a picky eater. Something has to be realllllly bad for me to hate it. You just read the food that I grew up on. I ain’t Gordon Ramsay. 

That being said, Joe seems to think the food has slipped. Others agree with him. You guys usually have your fingers on the pulse of the country, so I trust you on this one. 

So, two down, one to go! You’re almost there, Cracker Barrel. Keep pushing!

OK, let’s rapid-fire this Hump Day into a Hump Night. First up? I really don’t want to get into this today – or ever – because this class ain’t the space for it. I like to keep things funny and light and relatively nonsensical. 

That being said, the left’s reaction to what happened a few days ago on that subway is among the most disgusting, pathetic, embarrassing things I have ever, in my life, seen:

Blaming Donald Trump for the murder of Iryna Zaruska is truly unbelievable, even for the left. That video – and I’m sure you’ve all seen it at this point – makes my blood boil. It makes me sick to my stomach. Seriously. I can’t watch it anymore. It’s too much, and I don’t say that often.

For Whoopi and Joy to sit there and blame Trump – and blame MENTAL HEALTH – is rich. When there’s a mass shooting, it’s the gun’s fault. When it’s this, it’s mental health. Gotcha. Nothing like having your cake and eating it, too!

PS: Never, ever, forget:

Morons. And I mean that. M.O.R.O.N.S.

Two more on the way out. Can’t believe I missed this on Monday, but Alina Habba dominated the Jets game in a pair of blue jeans that grabbed the internet’s attention:

That’s our girl! Sure, I hate the Jets, but my team is already flying banners in Week 2, so I’d gladly root for them if Alina’s in town. 

OK, that’s it for today. Let’s finish this week strong. 

Kay Adams, who isn’t ready for summer to end, takes us home.

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

Were you a Kid Cuisine kid? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.