Dr Hutch: There are times when broken parts are best ignored

I stopped and fixed it, while Bernard ate a flapjack and deflected all attempts to start a conversation about how his new little electric pump worked and how much faster than a manual pump it might be. When I was finished, he said, “Did you check the rim for cracks?”
“It’s fine,” I said.
“Well, that was quite a…”
“It’s fine!”

Of course, I didn’t check. And I didn’t check for the very simple reason that carbon rims are rather expensive to replace, and also because I needed something to ride home on. This is not what a rational, risk-management-aware rider would do, or even a rider with a source of free wheels and a readily available lift.

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But this was no different from the denial that most of us engage in, most of the time: “I haven’t really got slower as I’ve got older at all, I just don’t have the constant need to prove myself anymore.” “I don’t think that’s tendonitis – it’ll wear off if I keep riding.” And, “I’m sure that rim isn’t cracked. Modern carbon is really tough.” Look at it this way. If the rim isn’t damaged and I don’t check, I’m fine.

If the rim isn’t damaged, and I do check, I’m in exactly the same position but I’ve taken quite a risk checking. That will be stressful, and modern life is stressful enough already. If the rim is cracked and I do check, that means I’ll know about it and have to spend a fortune on replacing it. If it’s cracked and I don’t check, then I’m going to die horribly, and surely if I’m dead it’s all the same, really?

The stress-free way is to ignore it. And anyway, we don’t know for absolute certain that carbon can’t heal itself. I heal all the time, and I’m much less sophisticated than my bike – even a court assessing compensation in the aftermath of both of us being mown down by a pickup truck would think so. There is another factor in this, which is Bernard. As you may be aware, he takes pleasure in the discomfort of others.

So if we look at all of this from his point of view, we get more scenarios to consider. If he tells me to check it, and I do and find it’s actually fine, well to be honest he was still right to tell me to check. So that remains one-nil to him. If he tells me to check and I do and it’s cracked, well that’s the disaster scenario if you’re me.

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I’ll have to fork out for a replacement, and Bernard will not just have been right, he’ll be able to make wild claims about saving my life. And trust me, your life being saved by Bernard is exactly the sort of thing that makes life not worth living. If he tells me to check it and I ignore him, at least I’ve won that one. I may, as a direct result, die, but at least I’ll die with dignity, with pride, and very slightly richer.