Dave Pelletier is the co-founder of the Toronto chapter of Unplugged Canada, a grassroots initiative to get parents to commit to holding off on getting their children smartphones until they’re at least 14.Laura Proctor/The Globe and Mail
Dave Pelletier wants to keep a smartphone out of his young daughter’s hands for at least a few more years. The problem is, he is at the mercy of other parents.
As more of them get phones for their kids, the peer pressure gets harder and harder to resist.
That is why Mr. Pelletier, a former software designer in Toronto, was so eager to sign the Unplugged pledge.
Spearheaded by Unplugged Canada, a grassroots initiative launched a little more than a year ago, the pledge asks parents to not get their kids smartphones until they are at least 14, in order to avoid the harms of smartphone use and ensure that childhood is a time of play and real-life connections.
“The policy change is the real end goal here,” Mr. Pelletier said. “We need a minimum age that is enforced for this technology.”
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In the meantime, parents face a conundrum: They know the harms associated with kids having a smartphone – whether it’s consuming their time and attention or exposing them to online dangers – but if all their friends have one, how are parents supposed to resist?
The advantage of something like the Unplugged pledge is that it takes this individual problem and tries to solve it by reframing it as a collective action problem, said Michele Locke, a clinical psychologist and co-founder of the Toronto chapter of Unplugged.
“It’s really about empowering parents to say: I can do this hard thing even if some people don’t. But of course, if more people do it, it just becomes a lot easier,” she said.
Denmark recently proposed a ban on social media for children under the age of 15, while Australia has one for kids under 16 that is set to come into effect in December.
Unplugged Canada hopes to convince the federal government to adopt a similar ban.
A sign warns students of a cellphone ban at John D Bracco School in Edmonton.Amber Bracken /The Globe and Mail
The harms that smartphones can pose for children are well known, says Rebecca Snow, who helped found the Toronto chapter of Unplugged Canada.
She points to The Anxious Generation, a book published last year by American social psychologist Jonathan Haidt, as a wake-up call for parents.
In the book, which looks at how smartphones have negatively influenced kids’ mental health, Mr. Haidt calls phones “experience blockers,” arguing that they interfere with crucial elements of development such as in-person socialization.
“And the other thing he said is the fact that we let our kids go online for 15 minutes yet we won’t let them walk to the corner store for 10 minutes through our neighbourhoods,” Ms. Snow said.
So far, nearly 5,000 people have signed the pledge.
Alison Yeung, a family physician and mother of two, ages four and seven, signed the pledge as a way to ease the pressure parents and kids can feel when it comes to having a phone.
“It’s really about education and awareness and making the kids feel like they’re not alone, which makes it easier for parents to delay” giving them a phone, she said.
More parents, it seems, are looking to band together on the issue.
Kate O’Connor and a friend recently put posters up in her west-end Toronto neighbourhood with the headline “Hold the Phone.”
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“Let’s create a group where kids can grow up with phone-free friends and parents can support each other along the way,” the posters read.
“Parents all want the same thing: We want our kids to be happy and confident and strong and have a good quality of life – and essentially, we want our kids to have good mental health,” Ms. O’Connor said. “I think the results are in: This is worse for their mental health than maybe being excluded.”
Mr. Pelletier’s 12-year-old daughter has not yet begun pestering him for a phone. Nor has his 10-year-old son.
“Our kids know how vigilant we are about it,” he said.
But there are downsides to not having a phone, he added.
For example, his daughter is one of only a few kids who are not in a group chat of kids in her class, so she misses out on those online discussions and interactions.
Then there is the awkwardness of being the one kid in a group without a phone in her hand.
Several of Mr. Pelletier’s daughter’s friends only recently got smartphones, so she is becoming familiar with this particular form of awkwardness.
She recently came up with a plan to deal with it.
“She’s an avid reader and has a Kobo e-reader,” Mr. Pelletier said. “She wants to start carrying it everywhere because she’s starting to experience sitting across from a friend who is staring down at their screen. So she’s just going to whip out her e-reader and wait till they’re done with their texting or whatever.”