Those emails to which you still haven’t replied, the unresolved argument you had with your family over Christmas, the new year prospects for the economy, the state of the world… It is 3am and all you want to do is drift back to sleep — but your mind is racing.
It might not feel like it as you toss and turn in the darkness, but you are not alone. As many as 80 per cent of us suffer from night-time anxiety, according to Anxiety UK, and daytime worries often spiral out of control when we turn out the lights.
Studies have shown this phenomenon — sometimes called the “mind after midnight hypothesis” — is real, with people’s moods plummeting between 1am and 4am.
“During the day we’re distracted: work, conversation, noise, movement,” Dr Carolyne Keenan, a registered psychologist, says. “At night, all of that quiets down and the brain finally has space to process everything it’s been holding on to.
“When there’s no external stimulation, our attention turns inwards, which can make small concerns feel amplified. Physiologically we’re more tired, which lowers emotional resilience.”
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There is also a chemical element. Cortisol, the stress hormone, should dip during sleep, but if you have been feeling stressed all day, this doesn’t always happen.
“If you’ve been running on high alert, the body can misfire, leaving you wired and restless when you should be winding down,” Keenan says.
At night our thoughts can turn inwards, making it difficult to switch off
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And this time of year can exacerbate even small and mundane worries, says the registered counsellor Georgina Sturmer. “The weather has turned, and the festive season brings with it an extra level of pressure,” she says.
So what should you do to quell your night-time anxiety? Get up and crack on with that spiralling to-do list? Or thrash around until the sun comes up? We asked the experts for their top tips.
1. Set aside half an hour a day to worry
Build worrying into your night-time wind-down, so you can put those troubles to bed once and for all.
Allow yourself 20-30 minutes to write down what’s on your mind — from things you have control over (such as work deadlines and calling back that old schoolfriend) to things you don’t (such as humanitarian crises and whether it will rain next weekend) — before you go to sleep.
Get everything down on a page so it is no longer whirring around your mind. “Create a buffer zone between ‘day mode’ and ‘night mode’,” Keenan says. “The goal is to give your mind time to shift gears.”
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Then, complete a few small, gentle tasks, such as reading, tidying or stretching, to help yourself switch off. “Set a small ritual that tells the brain the day is done: dim lights, change clothes or write down tomorrow’s top three priorities,” says Heather Darwall-Smith, a psychotherapist and author who specialises in sleep. “Closure signals safety.”
2. Switch off your phone before you go to bed
Nearly nine in ten of us admit to checking our phone or tablet within an hour of bedtime. Mindless scrolling is now a regular part of our nightly routine.
“This can mean that our anxiety and stress spill over into bedtime and sleep,” Sturmer says. What’s more, if you wake at night, it is tempting to reach for your phone.
“Our devices have become the ultimate tool for distraction or what we sometimes refer to as ‘self-soothing’,” she says. “Feeling bored, lonely, worried or low? Chances are you’ll pick up your phone for a cheap dopamine hit of distraction from these feelings.”
Instead, experts recommend keeping your phone as far from your bed as possible — even, if you can bear it, switching it off early in the evening and leaving it downstairs.
“To do this effectively, we need to find analogue solutions to any digital problems that might arise,” Sturmer says. “Need your phone to wake you up? Invest in an alarm clock. Keep thinking of things you need to do? Go old school with a pen and paper.”
3. Get up and fold laundry
Instead of lying there tossing and turning for hours, get out of bed. If you know you won’t fall asleep within the next 20 minutes, there is no better way to break the cycle of anxiety and stop your thoughts from running amok.
“Put the brakes on, change your location, read, doodle or count your breath instead of problems,” Darwall-Smith says.
Engaging in a mindless activity such as folding laundry can help you get to sleep
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Ideally, go into another room, keep the lighting dim (bright light signals it is time to wake up) and engage in a dull, mindless activity, such as folding laundry or doing a puzzle. Don’t try anything your brain might perceive as exciting — and avoid screens at all costs.
Repeat this several times if you need to and get back into bed when you start feeling drowsy.
4. Do a quick five senses meditation
“If your mind is racing, shift focus to the physical,” Keenan says. “Notice the feel of the sheets, the temperature of the air, the sound in the room.”
Some people keep a smooth stone or soft blanket by the side of the bed, so they can touch it if they wake and feel anxious. Sipping a cold glass of water, sniffing a familiar scent (such as peppermint or lavender) or listening to soft, relaxing music can have similarly calming effects on a busy brain.
“Touch and smell are direct pathways to steadying the nervous system,” says the accredited counsellor Yasmin Shaheen-Zaffar. By anchoring yourself in the present, you can wrench your mind away from worries and reduce cognitive noise.
“Notice the feel of the sheets, the temperature of the air, the sound in the room”
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5. Tire your brain with word games
Forget counting sheep. It may sound counter-intuitive, but your brain needs something more stimulating to distract it from spiralling thoughts.
Try recalling tiny details from your favourite film, a classic novel or episodes of that TV show you’ve watched hundreds of times. Quote the best lines, sketch the scenery or remember what the characters were wearing.
You could also try a body scan, mentally tuning into every part of your body from the top of your head to your toes, and consciously relaxing each one. Or choose a category — a shopping list, animals, celebrities — and come up with an answer for each letter of the alphabet. Before you know it (and usually before you get halfway through), you will be fast asleep.
6. Practise 4-7-8 nasal breathing
Slow breathing, through your nose with your mouth closed, is one of the fastest, most effective ways to calm an anxious nervous system.
Ruth Cooper-Dickson, a practitioner of positive psychology and patron of No Panic, the national anxiety charity, recommends the 4-7-8 technique, which involves inhaling for a count of 4, holding your breath for a count of 7 and then exhaling for a count of 8.
“The double, extended exhale helps,” she says. “Developing a breathwork practice can help to support a good night’s sleep and activate the parasympathetic — rest and digest — nervous system.”
The psychotherapist and anxiety expert Kamalyn Kaur suggests putting a hand on your chest as you do this, and breathing for at least 60 seconds until your body softens. “This signals safety to your nervous system,” she says.
7. Keep a notepad beside your bed
Even if journalling isn’t your thing, try keeping a notepad on your bedside table and jotting down what’s worrying you when you wake in the middle of the night.
Write a mantra or comforting note to yourself at the top of a notepad
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“You don’t need to analyse this or put the light on, but the act of putting pen to paper can help to let go of the thoughts,” Cooper-Dickson says.
Tell yourself you can think — or even worry — about these things when you’re feeling awake and alert. Better still, write a mantra, or comforting note, to yourself at the top of the notepad — something like “It’s going to be OK” or “I’ll deal with it tomorrow” — and read it when you need a boost.
“Worrying about worrying is what gets many people stuck,” Keenan says. “If you’re awake at 2am, remind yourself, this is just my brain processing. That small self-compassion shift can lower adrenaline enough to drift back to sleep.”
8. Get some fresh air during the day
Getting a bit of fresh air and doing some exercise during the day helps you unwind later
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“Night-time anxiety is part of a 24-hour cycle,” Sturmer says. “See if you can be proactive about managing these feelings during the day.”
If things are starting to get on top of you, take time during your waking hours to quell your mounting stress levels before they affect your sleep. Take regular breaks during working hours, eat well, exercise and connect with friends.
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And make sure you get plenty of fresh air and sunlight (even in the winter months). “Daytime light anchors the circadian rhythm and reduces evening cortisol, making it easier to unwind later,” Darwall-Smith says.