Peacock; ABC; HBO Max
TV’s best and brightest characters are back from hiatus — and our latest Quotes of the Week column proves it!
In our list below — which rounds up the best sound bites of the past seven days — you’ll find nearly a dozen shows represented, including the Critics Choice Awards and “Chicago Med.”
Also featured in this week’s roundup: “Chicago P.D.” fights fire with fire, “The Pitt” brings a bit of humor to the ED, and “The Simpsons” reveals the secret to successful parenting. Plus, we’ve got double doses of “His & Hers,” “Shifting Gears,” “Will Trent,” and a rare triple dose (!) of “The Traitors.”
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves! (With contributions from Nick Caruso, Rebecca Luther, Kimberly Roots, Ryan Schwartz, and Andy Swift)
HIS & HERS (Episode 2)
Netflix screenshot (2)
“Stay out of my way, or I’m gonna have you arrested.”
“On what charge?”
“Bein’ an a**hole.”
We’re starting to see why Jack (Jon Bernthal) and Anna’s (Tessa Thompson) rocky marriage is proving hard to salvage
HIS & HERS (Episode 6)
Netflix screenshot
“Forget it, Boston. It’s Dahlonega.”
Jack (Jon Bernthal) invokes “Chinatown” while assuring fellow detective Priya that her morally ambiguous behavior on the job is just another day for this Georgia town
THE SIMPSONS
Fox screenshot
“I can’t pretend to like things I don’t.”
“You do it all the time. It’s called parenting.”
“Huh. Well, I do like lying to children.”
This really is Homer (Dan Castellaneta) and Marge’s (Julie Kavner) parenting style in a nutshell
THE TRAITORS
Peacock screenshot
“Are you ready to play?”
“So. F***ing. Hard.”
We finally got Rob Cesternino back, you guys!
THE TRAITORS (Bonus Quote!)
Peacock screenshot
“Why are you a threat in this game?”
“Why am I a threat? Well, because I’m Lisa f***ing Rinna.”
All hail Queen Lisa.
THE TRAITORS (Bonus Quote!)
Peacock screenshot
“It’s weird being here, you know? I’m just used to ‘Love Island.’ It’s weird to be wearing clothes. I haven’t made out with anybody yet. It’s pretty crazy.”
Rob Rausch notes the “weird” and “crazy” differences in jumping from a dating show to a competition series
CHICAGO MED
NBC screenshot
“You know, I’d heard from several people that you were a child. I had no idea that you were a complete idiot.”
Dr. Charles (Oliver Platt) puts a surgeon in his place
SHIFTING GEARS
ABC screenshot
“Don’t tell anyone I did that or I’ll make you watch those Sarah McLachlan commercials.”
Matt (Tim Allen) is willing to show Lily’s dog some love — as long as it keeps its trap shut
SHIFTING GEARS (Bonus Quote!)
ABC screenshot
“You’re watching ‘Turner & Hooch’?”
“Yeah. That dog is a good actor, right? That Tom Hanks? Eh, I don’t know.”
Tim Allen takes a dig at the Woody to his Buzz
THE PITT
HBO Max screenshot
“That takes giant balls of disrespect.”
“Giant Balls of Disrespect was the name of my band in high school.”
Dr. Shen (Ken Kirby)’s got jokes
WILL TRENT
ABC screenshot (2)
“You’ve been surviving on crumbs — and now, you have the whole cake.”
“Yes, but it is a carrot cake. With raisins.”
As soon as Dr. Roach (Margaret Cho) offers a therapy metaphor, Will (Ramón Rodríguez) points out the raisins lurking in the batter
WILL TRENT (Bonus Quote!)
ABC screenshot (2)
“How’s it going with Daddy, by the way? I’d love to meet him.”
“Oh, I’m sure you would.”
“He is a bit of a cliché, though, right? I mean, the cowboy hat, the boots…”
“You murdered sex workers and sewed their mouths shut. I think I can live with his cowboy hat.”
“Yeah, I did do that. But I used to bring my reusable cup to Starbucks, so… let God be the judge.”
Leave it to imaginary Ulster (Greg Germann) to critique Caleb’s fashion choices — and to Will (Ramón Rodríguez) to clap back with a serial killer reality check
CHICAGO P.D.
NBC screenshot
“You see this badge holder? It was my dad’s. I mean, he wore it everyday of his life until he was killed in the line of duty. I’ve worn it every day since. I mean, sometimes I slip up, but a lot of the time, I can feel him with me. If I didn’t feel my father near me right now, you wouldn’t live through this day. You do what you want. But right now, right now you should get the hell out of my office.”
After Devlin threatens to blackmail Voight (Jason Beghe) with false allegations against his father, the sergeant strikes back with a chilling threat
CRITICS CHOICE AWARDS
E! screeshot
“Leo almost didn’t make it tonight because he was trapped on a boat in St. Barts. It was just like the Titanic, but worse because Jeff Bezos was there.”
CRITICS CHOICE AWARDS (Bonus Quote!)
E! screenshot
“‘Sinners’ is the story of brothers who start this really fun place for entertainment, and then vampires show up, suck the life out of everybody, and burn it all to the ground. Fun fact: The original name of the main vampire was David Zaslav.”