In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, this month’s column focuses on money conversations in relationships. One of the most common hot-button topics in any partnership is finances. When couples talk about money, the discussion often centers on the everyday: mortgage payments, grocery bills, vacations and perhaps the occasional splurge. But one of the most important and frequently overlooked aspects is the broader financial picture.
Investment decisions, in particular, can quietly become a source of misunderstanding, even in otherwise strong relationships. Not necessarily because couples disagree about money, but because they aren’t discussing it in a structured and intentional way.
Marriage is a partnership in every sense. That partnership should extend beyond budgeting and spending into long-term planning and investing.
Visibility creates confidence
In many households, one spouse naturally takes the lead on financial matters. This division of responsibilities is practical and often works well. However, challenges can arise when responsibility turns into separation, when one partner manages investments and the other feels disconnected from the overall strategy.
Both spouses benefit from understanding the family’s financial landscape: where accounts are held, how assets are invested, and what those investments are designed to accomplish. This isn’t about turning everyone into a market expert. It’s about fostering clarity, confidence and shared awareness.
Life has a way of introducing the unexpected. Illness, career transitions or sudden life events may require either spouse to step into unfamiliar territory. Shared understanding today can prevent significant stress tomorrow. The worst time to learn about your financial picture is during a crisis, such as the passing of a loved one.
Aligning around the “why”
Investments are tools, not goals. The real question is: What are those tools meant to support? Couples often assume they are aligned, retirement, children’s education, a future move or perhaps purchasing a second home. Yet beneath these broad themes, perspectives can differ meaningfully.
One partner may envision retiring early. The other may find fulfillment in working longer, with goals such as purchasing a vacation home or funding 529 plans for grandchildren.
Neither vision is right or wrong. But unspoken differences can create tension.
A productive conversation centers around shared priorities:
• What does financial independence mean for us?
• When would we like the option to retire?
• What lifestyle are we building toward?
• What happens if something happens to one of us?
These discussions help ensure that investment decisions support a mutual vision rather than individual assumptions.
Avoiding the delegation disconnect
Delegating financial tasks is sensible. Disengaging completely is not.
When one spouse feels excluded from investment decisions, unexpected outcomes can feel more unsettling, not just financially, but emotionally. Collaboration fosters shared accountability and reduces the potential for frustration or blame during challenging periods.
Even simple, periodic conversations can reinforce a sense of partnership.
The value of regular check-Ins
Investment planning is not a “set it and forget it” exercise. Nor should it surface only during tax season or an estate planning review.
A quarterly or semiannual financial check-in can provide meaningful benefits:
• Review progress toward goals
• Discuss upcoming decisions
• Revisit allocations
• Adjust for life changes
These conversations do not need to be lengthy or overly technical. Their purpose is alignment, awareness, and perspective.
I often remind clients that investing is not simply about accumulating wealth. It’s about supporting the life you’re building, security, flexibility, opportunity, and peace of mind.
Ultimately, the most successful financial partnerships are not defined by market performance alone, but by clarity, communication, and trust.
And much like a strong marriage, a thoughtful financial plan is built for the long term.
Emily Promise, CEO and financial advisor at ShorePoint Advisory Group (formerly Blakely Financial), is a Marblehead native and the financial columnist for the Current.
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