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Though it feels like Mercury has been permanently in retrograde since March 2020, it is somehow not actually in retrograde right now! So April is all about action, moving us into fire and air energy. It’s time to plunge forward and make the bold decisions you’ve been thinking about for years, like a B.C. premier altering time. Your love life is like permanent DST: not really getting you out of bed, but less depressing when binging reality TV at 4 p.m. Embrace the change!

Aries (March 21 to April 19)

Happy birthday! Saturn and Neptune in Aries brings new opportunities, like getting your real estate licence for triplex float homes, racing an e-bike up the Georgia Viaduct on a Solowheel for Earth Week, or joining a jump rope community under the Granville Street bridge. Emotions are heightened: try not to make eye contact with distressed Canucks fans while attempting to park at Costco.

Taurus (April 20 to May 20)

Your love life is like staring out of a single-paned window: foggy and unclear, then indiscriminately dripping sadness when you try too hard to make things work with Kevin. A full moon in Libra inspires wellness activities, so, yes, you can relax without subscribing to a rave-like sauna. A windfall comes your way, and not just an atmospheric river—don’t blow it all on Fluevogs!

Gemini (May 21 to June 20)

Your energy is like a cute dog tied up outside of a coffee shop: waiting for a pat on the head and potentially a piece of breakfast sandwich. Bummed you didn’t get cast on Age of Attraction? BYO camera crew to the Roxy or Sandbar this weekend. Now is not the time to spin your hot takes into a fake TED2026 presentation. (Unless you really want to.)

Cancer (June 21 to July 22)

Life’s lessons seem hidden right now, kind of like searching for Golden Eggs with your nephews at the Britannia Mine Museum. Your ex’s ego is like a failing condo development: subject to inflation and unable to break new ground. Your intuition leads you astray once more: you can’t “feel” your way out of the Royal Centre food court basement. GPS—or a hand-written map—is required.

Leo (July 23 to August 22)

Saturn in Aries spikes your discipline! While the best time to start training for the Sun Run was three months ago, the second best time to start training is today (or technically, two-and-a-half months ago). Your love life feels like a dejected MLS® listing in all caps: >>ON FIRE RECENTLY AND SOLD AS IS. Finances peak mid-month: save up for gourmet ice cream cones—Plain Jane’s coming back!

Virgo (August 23 to September 22)

Jupiter direct in Cancer supports your drive to build community: now is the time to apply for your “socks for squirrels” Neighbourhood Small Grant. Your Hinge profile is like a Car Free Day: very well-liked, yet on the verge of shutting down. Yes, if you want to see your siblings on Easter weekend, you will have to be the one to make and rebook the ferry.

Libra (September 23 to October 22)

Pluto in Aquarius continues its long transit, and it’s not even taking the Canada Line! Your ex’s level of emotional maturity is like the Broadway Subway extension: running at least two years behind schedule. Looking for WAG-tunities? Start prepping now for the Canucks training centre at Britannia. Hey, at least one community centre might get an upgrade!

Scorpio (October 23 to November 21)

Friendship opportunities peak this month! Meet new buddies with calloused hands at the invasive blackberry removal event during Earth Week. Work opportunities bloom like cherry blossom trees: don’t stand too long in one place and get rained on. Need to get inspired? Look out, Expo, it’s TECHSPO: the pavilions of the future are now.

Sagittarius (November 22 to December 21)

Your ex is like the measles, in that you thought you had herd immunity, but they just keep on sending DMs! Taking a chance on a new relationship is like riding the escalator at Tinseltown—have faith in your future, validate your parking, and don’t look down. Stay realistic: if Brandi’s can’t even negotiate a new lease, what hope do you have with your East Van landlord?

Capricorn (December 22 to January 19)

Ambitions come into focus, meaning yes, you can find a parking spot on Main Street. A charming stranger eyeing candles that look like common or garden vegetables may catch your eye at Coco et Olive. Your love life is like line dancing at the community centre: you forgot to sign up, and the class with Carol is only available at 11 a.m. on a Tuesday. Things will shift (and shuffle, and grapevine, and box step) soon!

Aquarius (January 20 to February 18)

Mars enters Aries, leading to heightened impulsivity. Now is not the time to take a Lime scooter down Alder Street in the rain. Finances are up: If you’ve sold three condos, consider putting a down payment on designer coasters at Vancouver Special. April showers bring May flowers—your idea for a little free Seasonal Allergy Library may have wings <3.

Pisces (February 19 to March 20)

Your empathy knows no bounds, but you can’t hold everyone’s pain on the 99. Your ex is like a tourist standing in the bike lane to take a selfie on the Seawall: well-intentioned but irritatingly oblivious. Your Hinge matches’ photos are like a Vancouver zoning and development map, which is to say good from afar but impossible to zoom in on for meaningful detail. Wait for more info and don’t settle! GS

Rachel Burns was once called Franklin the Turtle as a child. She is not an astrologer.