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Photo: Jan Langhaug/NTB/AFP via Getty Images

And it’s dead! Snapchat mastermind and man who gets a lot of money to play soccer Erling Haaland is out of the World Cup and headed back to Norway, but not without some souvenirs. He brought home a taxidermied raccoon drinking from a liquor bottle. Because in the land of the free and home of Bass Pro Shops, why wouldn’t you want to take home a literal stuffed animal? “It followed me home 🦝🤣,” he wrote on Instagram with a pic of his new friend. He did ask his followers for help picking a name: Cowboy, Ranger, TEX, or ROW (Raccoon on Wheels). We vote Cowboy, for yee-haw reasons.

According to Vogue, he picked up the critter at Wild Bill’s Western Store in Dallas, Texas, for $750, big bucks for the average person. But that’s literally peanuts for a man with a net worth close to $80 million. He’s paying peanuts to bring a trash panda to an international destination. When that little guy was living his best life, eating out of a dumpster and being a part of OG viral videos, did he ever imagine that, in his afterlife, he would be going home with one of the most beloved soccer players from this year’s World Cup? No, but he’s going home with a bottle to celebrate.

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