Peacock; Prime Video; The CW
You didn’t think we’d forget Quotes of the Week, did you?
In our list below — which rounds up the best sound bites of the past seven days — you’ll find nearly a dozen shows represented, including “Ride or Die,” “House of the Dragon,” “The Valley,” “Criminal Minds: Evolution,” and “The Five Star Weekend.”
Also featured in this week’s roundup: “All American” shouts out “How to Get Away With Murder,” “Matlock” catches a stray on “The Daily Show,” and “Big Brother” shows “Survivor” some love. Plus, we’ve got double doses of “Descendants: Wicked Wonderland,” “Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed,” and “Project Runway.”
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves! (With contributions from Nick Caruso, Rebecca Luther, Dave Nemetz, Kimberly Roots, Ryan Schwartz, and Andy Swift)
House of the Dragon
HBO
“Is she? Or is she a b***h with a dragon?”
Ormund Hightower (James Norton) challenges some nobles’ assertion that the had to bend the knee to Rhaenyra because she’s “the queen”
Descendants: Wicked Wonderland
Disney+
“Are you hurt? Are you all right?”
“…Are you wearing trousers?”
“OK, you’re fine.”
Cinderella (Brandy Norwood) is concerned for the Queen of Hearts’ (Rita Ora) safety… while the queen is more concerned with her friend’s unexpected costume change
Descendants: Wicked Wonderland (Bonus Quote!)
Disney+
“Where is Prince Phillip when you need him?”
“We could have hung out with him more, but no, you had to go out with Gaston.”
“Everybody has their bad boy phase, thank you.”
The Queen of the Hearts (Rita Ora) and Cinderella (Brandy Norwood) get to reminiscing while hacking their way through a prison of thorns
Criminal Minds: Evolution
Paramount+
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”
“Brian, Brian, stop: I might kill you, but not over that.”
Look, The Fan (Justin Kirk) may be a near-uncatchable serial murderer, but he’s not a monster — though we’re not sure Brian (Paul F. Tompkins), who panics as he knocks over part of The Fan’s ghastly set-up — discerns the distinction
All American
The CW
“Wait, you’re a lawyer?”
“Almost. I mean, I just finished my first year of law school.”
“Yes, Annalise Keating! I see you!”
“No, that’s Coop. Who’s Annalise?”
Khalil (Antonio J. Bell) really needs to brush up on his “How to Get Away With Murder”
The Valley
Bravo
“Bro, she blocked me as if she were a f**king lineman in a prairie dress.”
Lala doesn’t appreciate the way Nia got in the middle of her fight with Danny
Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed
Apple TV
“Now we’re just, like, unsung heroes. F**k. I want to be a sung hero.”
Rudy (Charlie Hall) would like a little credit for all the help he and Geri gave Paula
Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed (Bonus Quote!)
Apple TV
“Oh, sh*t. Am I in Hell?”
“Worse, you’re in Queens.”
Sofia (Dolly de Leon) breaks the news to Baxter (Jon Michael Hill) that he is still very much alive — albeit in a less desirable borough
The Five Star Weekend (Episode 8)
Peacock (2)
“Yes, mama! I knew it! This makes so much sense. Now I understand why you were so devastated after the Rock and Roll Football nonsense. This whole time, you must have had feelings for me!”
“Oh, mama. You’re not my type.”
Electra (Judy Greer) discovers that Brooke (D’Arcy Carden) is kissing a woman… and inevitably makes it about herself
The Daily Show
Comedy Central
“We don’t have a system that rewards experience and competence and performance; we have a system that rewards incumbency. These people aren’t brilliant; they’re f**king barnacles, utterly incapable of addressing a world moving much faster than the speed of ‘Matlock.'”
Project Runway
Freeform (2)
“The suit being two different colors, right now in fast fashion, that’s something that’s showing up a lot. It’s beautiful, but not as original anymore, the half-and-half suit.”
“I didn’t pick up on the fast fashion, the half-and-half — I guess I don’t really visit those sites.”
Law Roach doesn’t just deliver criticism to the contestants — he also makes time to shade fellow judge Tyra Banks!
Project Runway (Bonus Quote!)
Freeform
“I think you’re hilarious, but it’s ‘Project Runway’ not ‘Project Personality.'”
Guest judge Ice Spice sets a contestant straight after his look fails to measure up to his bravado
Ride or Die
Prime Video
“I’m sorry, what’s the correct response to discovering your best friend is a murderer?”
“I’m not a murderer, I’m an assassin. I kill bad people — really awful, terrible people.”
“For money.”
“Well, if I did it for free, I’d be a serial killer.”
Judith (Hannah Waddingham) makes a compelling point — even if it’s not the one Debbie (Octavia Spencer) wants to hear
Big Brother
CBS
“Devens, I don’t know. Looks like a buff!”
“I’m telling you, I got lost on the way to Tribal Council, Julie!”
Rick Devens shows love for his roots while donning a buff-looking headband during the live eviction vote