People who feel anxious in social situations but hide it well usually do these seven things:1. Worry a lot<\/p>\n
\u201cThe most important thing is to not take someone else\u2019s anxiety personally,\u201d explains\u00a0Julie Pike, Ph.D.<\/a>, a licensed psychologist and expert in the treatment of anxiety disorders.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cBecause it really has nothing to do with us as individuals. If I\u2019m anxious with 100 percent of a large friend group, it\u2019s not them.\u201d And it doesn\u2019t mean your friend doesn\u2019t trust you or feel comfortable around you.<\/p>\n However, if you\u2019ve fought recently and there\u2019s residual tension, she\u00a0may have a tough time moving past that and feeling confident<\/a> in the interaction. Again, it doesn\u2019t necessarily mean you are doing something wrong. But it means she, for whatever reason, is afraid of being judged or saying the wrong thing.<\/p>\n RELATED: 10 Phrases Socially Awkward People Say When They Feel Uncomfortable Talking To You<\/a><\/p>\n 2. Act aloof<\/p>\n If a friend with social anxiety seems\u00a0disinterested in your conversation, like she\u2019s ignoring you, or giving you the cold shoulder at a party, it\u2019s not that she doesn\u2019t want to talk to you. She\u2019s just really focusing\u00a0all her energy on quelling that\u00a0anxiety<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cOften people don\u2019t notice socially anxious people are anxious,\u201d said the late\u00a0Dianne Chambless, Ph.D.<\/a>, former professor of psychology and director of clinical training for the University of Pennsylvania\u2019s department of psychology.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cIt may just look like they\u2019re acting cold.\u201d Which, ironically, can make someone come across as less likable, the thing socially anxious people fear most.\u00a0<\/p>\n 3. Cancel last minute<\/p>\n If your friend is turning down plans to go out or cancelling on you, it may just be that she\u2019s trying to avoid situations that give her anxiety.<\/p>\n Instead of fading away and writing her off as a bad friend (which will just reinforce her feelings that she is faulty and not enjoyable to be around), carefully reach out and find out what\u2019s up.\u00a0Chances are, an honest conversation will clear up any doubts about where you both stand.<\/p>\n 4. Struggle to make conversation or talk too much<\/p>\n While anxiety around strangers is more typical, some people may have a tougher time around close friends.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s less common, but there\u2019s no hard and fast rule,\u201d Dr. Pike explains. \u201cIt\u2019s really more about what we regard as most threatening. If my brain registers it as more of a threat if my friends judge me poorly than if strangers do, then that\u2019s what I\u2019m going to be anxious about.\u201d<\/p>\n Part of the reason social anxiety is so frustrating is that people suffering from it care too much about forming relationships, even though it may seem like the opposite.<\/p>\n \u201cIf they didn\u2019t care about being with other people, it wouldn\u2019t be distressing,\u201d Chambless explains. \u201cPeople with social anxiety are unhappy about not having relationships.\u201d<\/p>\n When your body senses fear and your sympathetic nervous system (your \u201cfight or flight\u201d response) kicks in, you can actually lose your ability to concentrate or remember, Pike explains. \u201cPeople then get on a continuous feedback loop, where because they blank out, have an awkward interaction, and then go home and rehash it and kick themselves and feel horrible for having blanked out, they become so apprehensive of the next time,\u201d says Pike.<\/p>\n Then the anxiety just compounds. If this happens to your friend, just be calm and let them feel anxious and gather their thoughts without pushing.<\/p>\n RELATED: 6 Things People With High Anxiety Who Constantly Overthink Do Without Even Realizing It<\/a><\/p>\n 5. Project false confidence<\/p>\n People with social anxiety may actually be very confident<\/a> in other skills or parts of their lives, even though they lack self-confidence when it comes to meeting new people or interacting with a group. \u201cAnytime anyone has significant anxiety about something, they lack self-confidence about that situation,\u201d Chambless explains.<\/p>\n But interacting with people is a huge part of life, so having serious anxiety in that realm can impact other aspects of life that someone\u00a0does\u00a0feel rock-solid in.<\/p>\n RELATED: 10 Signs You Grew Up With Anxiety<\/a><\/p>\n 6. Prefer intimate gatherings over big parties<\/p>\n Other than public speaking (for some people), going to a big party is probably the scariest place for someone with social anxiety. Parties involve a lot of chitchat, which is extremely anxiety-inducing<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cPeople with social anxiety have a tough time with chitchat, because they believe everything they have to say has to be smart or witty,\u201d Chambless says.<\/p>\n Even though let\u2019s be honest, most chitchat is boring and mundane, those with social phobias are still afraid of being judged for saying the wrong thing.\u00a0<\/p>\n 7. Drink a lot<\/p>\n Some people turn to alcohol to self-medicate in social situations, Chambless notes. If your friend is drinking too much every time you go to a party, have a frank conversation and tell her you\u2019re concerned. \u201cThey may be doing this to cope with anxiety, but it\u2019s not going to help in the long run.\u201d<\/p>\n Simply say something like, \u201cI\u2019m concerned about you, I\u2019ve noticed this, and it\u2019s not like you to get that drunk. I\u2019ve seen this happen several times, and it worries me.\u201d Showing you care, instead of getting angry when you have to put her in a cab home again, reassures\u00a0her that you truly want what\u2019s best for her.\u00a0<\/p>\n Unless your friend tells you not to do so, encouraging someone who is socially anxious to face their fears<\/a> is the best way to help them \u2014 that, combined with letting them know they\u2019re doing okay.<\/p>\n \u201cThe biggest thing is not to tell someone not to be anxious,\u201d Pike explains. \u201cThe best thing people can say is, \u2018I know this is hard for you and I\u2019m proud of you,\u2019 or \u2018Good for you, I love you, I care about you.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n Then, help guide them through challenging situations, and encourage them to do things that make their anxiety higher (within reason) so that it\u2019ll get easier with time. They don\u2019t want to be anxious forever, and a little boost from a friend may be exactly what they need to start overcoming\u00a0those fears.<\/p>\n![\"woman](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/people-who-feel-anxious-hide-it-well-do-these-things-act-aloof.png\" "\\"people")
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