Let it be known: I recoiled more times during \u201cA Big Bold Beautiful Journey\u201d than at \u201cHouse of 1000 Corpses.\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\t\tmovie review\t\t<\/p>\n
\t\t\tA BIG BOLD BEAUTIFUL JOURNEY\t\t<\/p>\n
Zero stars. Running time: 108 minutes. Rated R (language). In theaters.<\/p>\n
You\u2019d have to be a Roomba not to wince when Colin Farrell sings the title song of the Broadway musical \u201cHow to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
Come to think of it, the words \u201cWithout Really Trying\u201d suit this moldy cupcake of a movie splendidly.<\/p>\n
Director Kogonada\u2019s adjective-challenged romantic blahmedy starring Farrell and Margot Robbie is a work of magical realism \u2014 though that\u2019s giving it too much credit \u2014 about two sexy singletons who meet at a rain-soaked wedding, and embark on a road trip through time to relive their quite unremarkable pasts.<\/p>\n
Their car\u2019s full-of-BS GPS, voiced by Jodie Turner-Smith, primly asks Farrell\u2019s David, \u201cWould you like to go on a big, bold, beautiful journey?\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\t\tMore From\t\t\t\t\t\t\tJohnny Oleksinski<\/p>\n
Tell me that\u2019s not worse than a serial-killer clown?<\/p>\n
\u201cYes,\u201d dull David says.<\/p>\n
So, off Sarah (Robbie) and David trek to a series of\u00a0forgettable forests and fields, in the middle of which stand out-of-place doorways. The vacuous vessels of boredom step through the frames and into their mushy memories.<\/p>\n
Colin Farrell and Margot Robbie star in the odd love story \u201cA Big Bold Beautiful Journey.\u201d \u00a9Columbia Pictures\/Courtesy Everett Collection<\/p>\n
Farrell croons the Frank Loesser tune because he\u2019s whisked back to his high school musical and a girl he fell in love with there. Speaking from experience, there are few things more mind-numbing than when grown adults wax nostalgic about their high school musical.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s a mystery how Farrell wound up in the driver\u2019s seat here. The Irish actor is at his finest in the dark films of directors such as Martin McDonagh<\/a> and Yorgos Lanthimos. And sometimes he injects danger into unexpected places. For instance, Farrell managed to be brooding in \u201cSaving Mr. Banks<\/a>,\u201d a Disney film about the creation of \u201cMary Poppins.\u201d<\/p>\n In \u201cJourney,\u201d however, Farrell does not fare well. The annoying movie sands away his edges and thus his magnetism. He fades away.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n The pair visit each others\u2019 memories. \u00a9Columbia Pictures\/Courtesy Everett Collection<\/p>\n David and Sarah step through doors that lead into the past. \u00a9Columbia Pictures\/Courtesy Everett Collection<\/p>\n Sarah plain and tall visits a modern art museum that she cherished but is bittersweet because her mom, whose death Sarah was absent for, also loved it.\u00a0Her story is more one-note than David\u2019s.<\/p>\n Robbie, who plays a sort of manic pixie dream girl on beta blockers, suffers from the same unmoving, automaton quality as her co-star. Though with the \u201cBarbie<\/a>\u201d actress the poor showing is less of a letdown. She hasn\u2019t been truly great in a role since \u201cI, Tonya<\/a>\u201d eight years ago.<\/p>\n Both manilla lovebirds head to hospitals and speak to younger iterations of their parents. David wanders into his childhood bedroom \u2014 tantalizing the audience with thoughts of naps.<\/p>\n More actors are embarrassed along the way. Phoebe Waller-Bridge and Kevin Kline play the car rental employees who give David his vehicle. Waller-Bridge, one of the world\u2019s funniest women and best writers, makes a fool of herself.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n Robbie hasn\u2019t been truly great in a role since \u201cI, Tonya.\u201d \u00a9Columbia Pictures\/Courtesy Everett Collection<\/p>\n Only a dummy would call \u201cJourney\u201d wise. People have regrets \u2014 who knew?! However, it\u2019s also absent a warm-and-fuzzy feeling, an evolving story to hold our interest or, really, surprises of any kind.<\/p>\n The sole shock is that the screenwriter, Seth Reiss, also penned \u201cThe Menu,\u201d which was a clever movie and tasty puzzle. This roadside wreck \u2014 which he should pay someone to scrub from IMDB \u2014 is merely puzzling.<\/p>\n In the pantheon of films about magical cars, this one is not big, bold or beautiful. Actually, I can think of a much better word to describe \u201cJourney.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n It rhymes with \u201cChitty Chitty.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Let it be known: I recoiled more times during \u201cA Big Bold Beautiful Journey\u201d than at \u201cHouse of…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":153686,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[12374,49,48,49090,75,1336,17831,14831,337,39274],"class_list":["post-153685","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-movies","tag-actors","tag-ca","tag-canada","tag-colin-farrell","tag-entertainment","tag-films","tag-margot-robbie","tag-movie-reviews","tag-movies","tag-phoebe-waller-bridge"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153685","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=153685"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153685\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/153686"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=153685"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=153685"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=153685"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}