ANN ARBOR, MI \u2014 As the state and nation mourns the latest victims of a mass shooting, experts say parents should be candid with their kids about gun violence.<\/p>\n
\u201cBe really honest and stay calm,\u201d Andrea Francis, 46, a professor of psychological science at Albion College said. \u201cThey are usually looking to feel reassured that they\u2019re safe.\u201d<\/p>\n
Francis and others shared tips about how to talk to kids about such tragedy the day after a church shooting and fire<\/a> Sunday, Sept. 28, in Grand Blanc Township that killed four people and injured eight others.<\/p>\n Be sincere, calm<\/p>\n Daniel Chapin, founder and national director of the Uvalde Foundation for Kids, said conversations should begin with integrity and honesty.<\/p>\n The father of two kids in central Texas said if parents do not have open dialogue with their kids about gun violence, then they will receive information from less sensitive environments. <\/p>\n \u201cBe there, listen, ask them questions,\u201d Chapin, 54, said. <\/p>\n The Uvalde Foundation is a nonprofit organization founded in response to a mass shooting at Robb Elementary School<\/a> in Uvalde, Texas in 2022 that killed 19 children and two adults.<\/p>\n Francis, a parent of two children in Okemos, similarly said parents should validate their kids\u2019 feelings following a shooting. <\/p>\n She was watching one of her children\u2019s hockey games when she received news Sunday of the church shooting. Although it was \u201cscary,\u201d she said adults need to focus and maintain a safe environment for their kids during moments of emotional distress.<\/p>\n Conversations will depend on kids\u2019 ages<\/p>\n Francis said that caregivers\u2019 language in discussions with their kids depends on the children\u2019s ages. <\/p>\n \u201cWith littler kids, you really do have to be very succinct in your words,\u201d she said. \u201cAs the children get a little older, they may want to talk about more.\u201d<\/p>\n If a child brings up a shooting or if their routine changes, maybe clinging more to their parent, then that may be the time to have the conversation, Francis said.<\/p>\n She said she knew it was time to talk to her children when she came home one day and saw them \u201cplaying lockdown.\u201d<\/p>\n Francis recommends parents help their kids identify at least one person they trust and can go to if they feel unsafe. <\/p>\n Kaliopi \u201cKelly\u201d Melistas, a licensed psychologist at Detroit-based Henry Ford Health, said with younger kids, caregivers really want to focus on their feelings. \u201cAnd this might be seeing where they\u2019re at through play therapy or using books,\u201d Melistas said. \u201cKids that are in elementary school, we might tend to see some more behavioral expressions of things, so maybe they\u2019re a little more frustrated or a little more angry or maybe they have experienced it different because of how things are discussed at school.\u201d<\/p>\n The parent of twins said teenagers \u201ctend to handle things a little bit better with a little more explanation.\u201d<\/p>\n Think about what you want to say<\/p>\n Justin Heinze is a professor of health behavior and health equity at the University of Michigan School of Public Health whose research has involved school safety, firearm and community violence and mental health. He said every child is different and parents should take a moment to think about what they want to say beforehand.<\/p>\n Heinze, a parent of two kids in the Dexter-Chelsea region, recommended parents find a spot \u201cwhere you can sit down and be an active listener\u201d and begin the conversation with questions for their children.<\/p>\n \u201cYou can talk about how your home is safe, you can talk about how your school is safe, how your church or your religious organization is safe, so talking a little bit about safety reinforces this message that even though this terrible event has happened, they are safe,\u201d Heinze, 45, said.<\/p>\n Give a child space<\/p>\n Melistas explained parents sometimes need to give their kids space following a traumatic event, like a shooting.<\/p>\n \u201cAs parents and teachers and professionals, a lot of times we feel like we need to fix it for them and sometimes we just need to give them the space to process in a healthy way,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n She recommends parents shift the conversation topic to \u201cthe firefighters and the first responders and the people who are there to help\u201d in order to lighten the mood. <\/p>\n Heinze wants parents to implement healthy routines and monitor their kids\u2019 behavioral changes following a traumatic event.<\/p>\n \u201cTrying to encourage and allowing them the space to readopt these routines that they need, trying to encourage them to start eating healthy, to maintain their normal bedtime, to try to get some exercise, all of these things over the coming days and weeks are going to be important to help young people cope,\u201d Heinze said.<\/p>\n Police said Monday that everyone who was at the site of a deadly church shooting Sunday in Grand Blanc Township is now accounted for<\/a>.<\/p>\n Law enforcement killed the suspect, who police identified as Thomas Jacob Sanford, 40, after he exchanged gunfire with a Department of Natural Resources officer and police officer.<\/p>\n Want more Ann Arbor-area news? 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