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Jeffrey White with his team, Alec\u2019s Antics, at this year\u2019s NAMI Walks NH<\/p>\nJeffrey White never wanted to be the kind of parent who hid the truth about how he lost his 16-year-old son, Alec. He didn\u2019t want people to tiptoe around him or avoid saying Alec\u2019s name.<\/p>\n
Instead, he wanted his son to be remembered for who he truly was: a vibrant teenager who loved skateboarding and skiing, and who faced a difficult battle with mental illness.<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t want that to be a secret. You don\u2019t want to be the whisper in the room,\u201d said White, who lives in Loudon.\u201cIt is part of my recovery. My healing is by helping you.\u201d<\/p>\n
For eight years, since his son died by suicide in November 2017, White has made it his mission to use every day as a chance to break the stigma surrounding mental health and to prevent suicide.<\/p>\n
From raising money to help support mental health education to helping emergency personnel receive Crisis Intervention Team training, White has dedicated himself to advocacy in every form.<\/p>\n
Jeffrey White with his team, Alec\u2019s Antics, at this year\u2019s NAMI Walks NH<\/p>\n
He leads a NAMI Walks NH team each year in his son\u2019s memory, raising funds and awareness and spreading the message that mental health is for everyone.<\/p>\n
This year, his team, Alec\u2019s Antics, raised $10,000.<\/p>\n
He said his goal is to make people feel more comfortable talking about mental health and to help them see that it\u2019s completely okay to not be okay. He hopes his advocacy will move people to ask for help when they need it and to take medication if it helps them feel better.<\/p>\n
\u201cThese are things that I wish people like Alec, and before Alec, knew that it was okay,\u201d White said.<\/p>\n
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Alec White<\/p>\n
After Alec\u2019s death, White found a lifeline through the National Alliance on Mental Illness New Hampshire (NAMI NH). There, he connected with others who understood his pain and began attending suicide loss support groups, something he still does.<\/p>\n
Today, he serves on NAMI NH\u2019s board of directors.<\/p>\n
With his former sister-in-law, White also launched Pink Donuts for Alec, a campaign that quickly gained momentum on social media. Each year on Alec\u2019s birthday, Feb 26, people across the country buy a pink-frosted donut \u2014 Alec\u2019s favorite \u2014 snap a selfie and share it online.<\/p>\n
White said Alec loved pink donuts, and the campaign is a way to inspire people to \u201copen minds, mouths, ears and hearts\u201d to conversations about mental health, suicide and hope.<\/p>\n
Whenever someone asks him to share his story or to help someone who has lost a loved one to suicide, White never hesitates to respond.<\/p>\n
Talking about his loss, he said, helps him to continue through his grief, and now he wants to be that same source of strength for others.<\/p>\n
He reminds survivors that every emotion they feel is valid, whether they sleep too much or too little, cry unexpectedly, feel angry, yell, eat too much or eat nothing at all.<\/p>\n
\u201cGrief is a powerful struggle,\u201d said White.<\/p>\n
Losing Alec was both devastating and deeply eye-opening for White. He found purpose after his loss, a drive to keep talking about mental health and to help others feel less alone.<\/p>\n
He doesn\u2019t see himself stepping back anytime soon; instead, he wants to do even more.<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u201cI think experience and having people with mental health experiences telling their story is so powerful,\u201d White said. \u201cYou really can educate a lot of people just by not being afraid to share your personal story.\u201d<\/p>\n