Published Oct 08, 2025 \u00a0\u2022\u00a0 Last updated 5\u00a0days ago \u00a0\u2022\u00a0 2 minute read<\/p>\n
<\/a><\/p>\n You can save this article by registering for free here<\/a>. Or sign-in<\/a> if you have an account.<\/p>\n Reviews and recommendations are unbiased and products are independently selected. Postmedia may earn an affiliate commission from purchases made through links on this page.<\/p>\n DEAR ABBY: My brother \u201cJoey\u201d married a woman, \u201cAllie,\u201d who is mentally unstable. Every couple of months, she loses her temper at me or one of my family members. It\u2019s extremely disruptive and upsetting. She has been diagnosed with type 1 bipolar disorder as well as borderline personality disorder. Joey recognizes her behaviour is inappropriate but can\u2019t seem to control her.\u00a0 Advertisement 2<\/p>\n This advertisement has not loaded yet, but your article continues below.<\/p>\n THIS CONTENT IS RESERVED FOR SUBSCRIBERS ONLY<\/p>\n Subscribe now to read the latest news in your city and across Canada.<\/p>\n Unlimited online access to articles from across Canada with one account.Get exclusive access to the Toronto Sun ePaper, an electronic replica of the print edition that you can share, download and comment on.Enjoy insights and behind-the-scenes analysis from our award-winning journalists.Support local journalists and the next generation of journalists.Daily puzzles including the New York Times Crossword.<\/p>\n SUBSCRIBE TO UNLOCK MORE ARTICLES<\/p>\n Subscribe now to read the latest news in your city and across Canada.<\/p>\n Unlimited online access to articles from across Canada with one account.Get exclusive access to the Toronto Sun ePaper, an electronic replica of the print edition that you can share, download and comment on.Enjoy insights and behind-the-scenes analysis from our award-winning journalists.Support local journalists and the next generation of journalists.Daily puzzles including the New York Times Crossword.<\/p>\n REGISTER \/ SIGN IN TO UNLOCK MORE ARTICLES<\/p>\n Create an account or sign in to continue with your reading experience.<\/p>\n Access articles from across Canada with one account.Share your thoughts and join the conversation in the comments.Enjoy additional articles per month.Get email updates from your favourite authors.<\/p>\n THIS ARTICLE IS FREE TO READ REGISTER TO UNLOCK.<\/p>\n Create an account or sign in to continue with your reading experience.<\/p>\n Access articles from across Canada with one accountShare your thoughts and join the conversation in the commentsEnjoy additional articles per monthGet email updates from your favourite authors<\/p>\n Article content<\/p>\n We usually ignore her and let some time pass until she calms down, but sometimes it\u2019s hard to turn the other cheek when she yells and makes personal attacks toward us. The most recent blow-up occurred while they were visiting my parents\u2019 home. Allie is pregnant with their first baby, and the day after the visit, Allie called my mom yelling at her that their house is \u201ctoxic\u201d due to clutter and dust. She said being in their home is \u201charming their unborn baby.\u201d My parents\u2019 house is NOT a health hazard. Yes, there is some clutter, but they\u2019ve raised five kids in that house and have lived there for almost 40 years. \u00a0<\/p>\n Article content<\/p>\n Article content<\/p>\n Is there any way we can have a meaningful relationship with Joey and Allie? I\u2019m worried they\u2019re never going to let us see their baby. \u2014 TIPTOEING IN CALIFORNIA <\/p>\n Your Midday Sun<\/p>\n Thanks for signing up!<\/p>\n Article content<\/p>\n Advertisement 3<\/p>\n This advertisement has not loaded yet, but your article continues below.<\/p>\n Article content<\/p>\n DEAR TIPTOEING: Allie has dual-diagnosis mental illness. If she\u2019s receiving meds for her bipolar disorder, it may be controlled. If she realizes her explosive reactions are over the top and is receiving psychotherapy for borderline personality disorder, you may be able to have a relationship with your niece or nephew. But understand that BPD is a difficult illness to treat. Unless Allie is open to treatment, your brother should think twice about having more children with her because their marriage may not last. <\/p>\n RECOMMENDED VIDEO We apologize, but this video has failed to load.<\/p>\n Play Video<\/p>\n DEAR ABBY: A longtime friend of mine, \u201cBarbara,\u201d is kind enough to let me stay at her home when I visit her town a couple of times a year. She has another close (out-of-town) friend, \u201cHelene,\u201d who stays with her more often. Lately, it has become apparent that Helene is our complete political opposite, so much so that I no longer feel comfortable being around her. \u00a0 Advertisement 4<\/p>\n This advertisement has not loaded yet, but your article continues below.<\/p>\n Article content<\/p>\n Because our visits often overlap, my first impulse is to make arrangements to stay elsewhere. However, I don\u2019t want to offend Barbara, who denies that Helene is an extremist, despite evidence to the contrary. Is there any graceful way to ask Barbara to alert me if Helene will be around so I may make other lodging arrangements? \u2014 AVOIDANT OUT WEST\u00a0 DEAR AVOIDANT: Because your friend Barbara continues to deny that Helene is an extremist, in spite of evidence to the contrary, it is possible that her political views are closer to those of Helene\u2019s than you think. It may be time to level with Barbara and explain that Helene\u2019s views are offensive to you and ask if she\u2019d be willing to tell you if Helene will be there when you plan to visit so you can make other arrangements for lodging.<\/p>\n![\"A](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/1760390846_717_mental-health.jpg\")
A woman’s mental health struggles has her in-laws walking on eggshells. Photo by stock photo \/Getty ImagesArticle content<\/p>\n
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