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<\/p>\n\tFrom unlucky bounces to vanishing bunker sand, golf banter after a round is rich with complaints, rituals, and humour. This article explores the most common gripes shared by golfers, from bad breaks to health woes, with a wry nod to the camaraderie behind them.<\/p>\n
\tGOLFERS love to moan and complain. It\u2019s almost the law.<\/p>\n
\tSit with a group after any round and off they go. Endlessly.<\/p>\n
\tPick a subject and they will find something to say. I have to say that arguably the favourite part of my round now is the banter around a table after the final putts have been holed.<\/p>\n
\tThere will always be somebody who feels the need to talk the rest of the group through his round, hole by hole, shot by shot. And that includes the three other golfers who witnessed those shots. There will be complaints about unlucky bounces, putts that have lipped out, bunkers with insufficient sand. You know the drill. You have done it yourself, you know you have.<\/p>\n
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\tAs I have recorded before, the banter I experience as a senior golfer is very different to the conversations I engaged in 20 years ago. Instead of talking about our jobs, dreaming of the new car we had an eye on, family holiday, our wives and girlfriends, today it is a health moanfest.\u00a0 So how does it go?<\/p>\n
\t\u201cFred, how is the new hip?\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cJohn, when are going in for that knee operation?\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cI won\u2019t be able to play next week – I\u2019ve got to look after the damn grandkids.\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cI won\u2019t be playing tomorrow – my back won\u2019t cope with two days on the trot.\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cIt\u2019s going to be cold on Friday – I will staying in my bed [that one is me]!\u201d<\/p>\n
\t\u201cThere is rain forecast tomorrow so I am going to give it a miss [also one of mine]!”<\/p>\n
\tBut there has been a whole new barrage of complaints recently.<\/p>\n
\tYou will not need me to tell you that golfers love to complain about the weather – and boy have they ben excelling themselves these past few weeks.<\/p>\n
\tAfter coming in with a Stableford score of 45 points, one of our number was heard to say: \u201cI cannot believe how hard these fairways are. I got some horrendous bounces out there.\u201d<\/p>\n
\tOr\u2026\u201dBloody hell, I hit an eight iron 180 yards on the fifth. I had no clue how it was going to finish.\u201d He went on to reveal that the ball finished six feet from the hole.<\/p>\n
\tI never thought I would live to see the day when English golfers would find so much to complain about during the best and most sustained spell of weather I can remember.<\/p>\n
\tI marvel at the stupidity of bald golfers who go out to play in 30c with the sun beating down and a) don\u2019t wear a hat or cap, and b) fail to apply any sunscreen and then wonder why they don\u2019t feel too well when they come off the course.<\/p>\n
\tAnd please don\u2019t me started on the golfers who head out there without taking any water. Really? And then moan about how parched they feel – and down a pint of beer when they should be drinking a pint of water.<\/p>\n
\tWhen I think about how much we all hate playing during those freezing cold winter days, I struggle to keep a straight face when I hear my fellow golfers pleading for rain – and, of course, if it did rain they would complain about that too.<\/p>\n
\tRelated Articles<\/p>\n
\tDry Weather is Creating Challenges For UK Golf Courses<\/a><\/p>\n