Dear Eric: My cat died in 2013. Everyone said I treated him like a child. He got so sick, so suddenly, it freaked me out so badly.<\/p>\n
Then my dad died out of nowhere in 2018. I wanted to die to be with him, because he was my best friend.<\/p>\n
Now I\u2019m afraid I\u2019ll lose anyone at any time. I have OCD and all my rituals are focused around keeping my mom, sister, husband and current cats safe and alive. I text my mom constantly, and if she doesn\u2019t answer for a few hours, I panic.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve started crying and hyperventilating if she didn\u2019t send her usual \u201cI\u2019m OK\u201d morning text by the time she always does, ready to drive to her apartment, prepared to find her body.<\/p>\n
How do I ever stop this?<\/p>\n
Please don\u2019t say to see a therapist. I had one for many years, then she left the practice. I don\u2019t have the energy to start all over again with someone new. I\u2019d seen at least 13 or 14 before her, and they mostly sucked.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m not interested in trying again, plus, I have very, very little free time due to my work schedule and having so many doctor\u2019s appointments for all the health problems I have.<\/p>\n
But my OCD about this is getting so much worse. So, any advice you have on how to stop obsessively worrying about everyone dying, is appreciated.<\/p>\n
\u2013 Want to Stop Worrying<\/p>\n
Dear Worrying: I understand how exhausting starting over in therapy can be. But, from what you\u2019ve written, it\u2019s clear that some form of intervention is needed.<\/p>\n
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and its symptoms can be treated with psychotherapy, but also with medication and, sometimes, intensive outpatient programs. So, since you\u2019re already working with medical providers, talk with them about your other options.<\/p>\n
You\u2019re also navigating an intense amount of grief right now. While you may not get everything you need from a local or online grief support group, please seek one out. It\u2019s imperative that you have options for processing the emotions you\u2019re feeling. Your anticipatory grief is directly tied to the grief you have related to your cat and your father.<\/p>\n
We can\u2019t cure grief \u2013 it\u2019s a process all its own and everyone\u2019s is unique. But you can change your relationship to it so that it has less power over your thoughts and your actions. It is possible to find relief.<\/p>\n
Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com<\/a> or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram<\/a> and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n \u00a92025 Tribune Content Agency, LLC.<\/p>\n If you purchase a product or register for an account through a link on our site, we may receive compensation. By using this site, you consent to our User Agreement<\/a> and agree that your clicks, interactions, and personal information may be collected, recorded, and\/or stored by us and social media and other third-party partners in accordance with our Privacy Policy.<\/a><\/p>\n