Toronto Psychology Clinic<\/a> Couple Counselor Dr. Saunia Ahmad says that there is undoubtedly some truth to the statement.\u00a0<\/p>\n\u201cIn general, I\u2019d say yeah, opposites do attract,\u201d she told Now Toronto. \u201cThis is because people tend to be attracted to someone who compliments them in some way. If some one person is a bit more shy, the other person may be more or less shy and much more of an extrovert, it certainly can lead to attraction.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
The therapist explains that when a couple stays together in a healthy relationship for an extended period of time, research shows that they form what is called a \u201ccouple identity,\u201d which refers to their joint personality as a couple.<\/p>\n
Ahmad adds that couples with different personalities can complement each other, and form a \u201ccouple identity\u201d that includes the best from all partners.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Besides complementing each other, being with someone who is very similar to you can be pretty boring for some people.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t want to have the same thing going on all the time, right? Going on at home or when you\u2019re going out, it\u2019s the same thing, it can get kind of boring. So, I\u2019d say [I] definitely [prefer] someone different from me,\u201d a passerby named Jimmy told Now Toronto.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cSameness is boring. I often ask [my clients], \u2018Hey, if your partner was your exact clone, would you like them? Would you be attracted to them?\u2019 They\u2019re like, \u2018No, that would be boring,\u2019\u201d Ahmad added.\u00a0<\/p>\n
But that isn\u2019t to say that being the complete opposite of your partner always works. The therapist says attraction can also be a double-edged sword, where the opposite characteristics of a partner can lead to conflicts.\u00a0<\/p>\n
For instance, if one person is very quiet and tends to deal with conflicts internally, that might translate to the other partner that they don\u2019t care.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cOpposites do attract, but they can also detract, in a way. And what\u2019s very important, it\u2019s not about how similar you are, it\u2019s about how well you deal with your differences,\u201d Ahmad said.\u00a0<\/p>\n
And for many Torontonians, the balance lies between having different personality traits, but shared values.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cI think there are some cases when opposites can definitely attract, but I also think that if you\u2019re too opposite then that can cause problems too. I think ideally a mix of there being some yin and yang, there being some balancing and contrast, but if you think too differently, you might not agree on key things as well,\u201d Sophia said.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cYour differences can be your hobbies maybe but I feel like at the end of the day, do you want the same kind of life at the end of the line?\u201d Benjamin W. questioned.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cI think you can learn a lot from someone who has different interests from you, or different opinions. I think on a moral level, I have to date someone who has the same morals or values as I do. But I like having conversations with people that have different mindsets,\u201d Mia Johnson added.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Whether you are attracted to your opposites or not, Ahmad says that it is important to dig deeper, and evaluate your potential partners\u2019 values and goals before jumping into a long-term relationship, which can lead to bigger problems.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Generally, the therapist says couples can find compromise when it comes to certain goals, such as living in the suburbs versus living downtown, but for other values, it might get too complicated.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cWe want to make it work. We want to be together, because of who we are together, [it] is important to them. But if it\u2019s the first day [of therapy and] we have a couple of one person [saying], \u2018I want a child,\u2019 and the other doesn\u2019t. How do you compromise?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cSome things are harder to compromise on, religion, children, a lot of those things. So, yeah, values tend to be very important.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
Overall, Torontonians who are looking for love should know that nothing is either black and white, especially when it comes to dating. If you\u2019re open to it, your person might just be your complete opposite.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"It is a long-standing saying that opposites attract. Black and white always look good together, sweet and sour…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":26324,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[49,48,1628,84,10976,855,21162],"class_list":["post-26323","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-health","tag-ca","tag-canada","tag-dating","tag-health","tag-love","tag-relationship","tag-this-is-dating-now"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26323","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26323"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26323\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/26324"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26323"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26323"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26323"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}