If you happen to be among those exchanging vows this season, it would be worth the effort to carefully plan for a financial life together to minimize conflicts over money later.<\/p>\n
\u201cHave open and honest conversations around finances,” said Anannya Mishra, a couples therapist in Bengaluru who has an independent practice and is also on the panel of Sneh Therapy, an online counselling platform. Sometimes, women are hesitant: \u201cHow can I talk about money? I love this person. It doesn\u2019t look good,” said Mishra.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s a mistake.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you don\u2019t talk now, then conflicts will arise later,” Mishra cautioned.<\/p>\n
Typically, conflicts stem from differing attitudes towards money, divergent spending habits, and sometimes even disagreements over the wedding itself. Perhaps one partner has financial anxiety and wanted a low-key wedding, while the other one wanted it to be a lavish affair, said Mishra. \u201cWhoever has had to accommodate carries that resentment,” she said.<\/p>\n
Here are five steps in a marriage that can save the heartache later:<\/p>\n
1. Get to Know Your Financial Selves<\/p>\n
Perhaps you know what your partner likes to do for fun, or even his favourite foods, but how well do you know his attitude towards money? Is he a spender or a miser? Does he have a huge credit card<\/a> debt? Is he the type who makes risky investments, and would you be okay with that?<\/p>\n \u201cHe may be a big risk-taker, and you may not be,” said Tania Ahuja, founder of Nobias Analyst India, a Sebi-registered investment adviser in Mumbai.<\/p>\n Have a conversation early on to understand your own and your partner\u2019s financial selves.<\/p>\n Ask yourself: \u201cWhat do you want from your money? What are your expectations? How will you get the money that you want?” said Renu Maheshwari, a Sebi-registered investment adviser in Chennai, and founder of Finscholarz Wealth Managers.<\/p>\n Maheshwari said they conduct money behavioural analysis of their clients, which reveals differences in the financial personality of the two partners.<\/p>\n For instance, if they find that one partner is a big miser, perhaps the other can make a joke of it and not get irritated in future when he or she skimps. Or, if one of the partners is a spendthrift, they can fix a limit within which he or she can spend. This provides relief to the other partner that the spending won\u2019t hurt the couple\u2019s overall finances.<\/p>\n Once that understanding comes, the relationship gets better, said Maheshwari. \u201cWe\u2019ve seen conflicts getting resolved.”<\/p>\n 2. Plan for Your Financial Goals<\/p>\n \u201cTalk money and make a plan,” said Ahuja.<\/p>\n Besides discussing near-term wants, like the type of wedding or honeymoon you\u2019d like, discuss big-ticket goals like buying a car or a home.<\/p>\n It’s possible that one partner dreams of having a large house in the suburbs, while the other one wants to be close to the city centre even if it\u2019s a small apartment. Come to an agreement and record your goals.<\/p>\n \u201cWhen you write down all these goals, not only is that a tangible thing, it also will help you say \u2018No\u2019 to things that are coming in the way,” said Ahuja.<\/p>\n Be considerate of your partner\u2019s personal goals. Maybe one partner wants to take a year off to study further, or start a business. Perhaps, one of you wants an international vacation every year, but the other one doesn\u2019t have time.<\/p>\n \u201cThere would be so many of these kinds of goals which require money but they\u2019re not a family goal,” said Maheshwari.<\/p>\n Talk about any concerns you may have to prevent resentment from building up.<\/p>\n Goals and dreams change with time, so such conversations should become a constant part of your married life. \u201cYou\u2019re just setting the path,” said Maheshwari. \u201cNothing that you do today is going to last forever.”<\/p>\n 3. Get Bank , Investment Accounts Sorted<\/p>\n Think through the practical details of managing your finances. Should you create a joint bank account<\/a>? If so, how will the contributions and spending work?<\/p>\n Even if you open a joint bank account, maintaining a separate personal bank and investment accounts can be smart from a taxation and psychological point of view. This arrangement avoids a situation where one partner feels that all her money is being spent on household expenses, while the other partner is saving and investing his money, said Mishra.<\/p>\n There are no right and wrong options, say advisers, so long as both partners are aware.<\/p>\n