{"id":335085,"date":"2025-12-09T18:33:07","date_gmt":"2025-12-09T18:33:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/335085\/"},"modified":"2025-12-09T18:33:07","modified_gmt":"2025-12-09T18:33:07","slug":"donald-trump-has-finally-won-a-peace-prize-from-fifa-no-less-here-are-five-other-awards-he-should-win-arwa-mahdawi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/335085\/","title":{"rendered":"Donald Trump has finally won a peace prize \u2013 from Fifa, no less. Here are five other awards he should win | Arwa Mahdawi"},"content":{"rendered":"

What a privilege it is to be alive in such a peaceful and prosperous time. If you ignore the genocides in Sudan<\/a> and Gaza<\/a>, fighting in eastern Congo<\/a>, continued attacks on Ukraine<\/a>, military airstrikes in Myanmar<\/a>, near-daily strikes on Lebanon<\/a>, \u201cextrajudicial killings\u201d<\/a> on <\/a>Venezualan vessels, increased political violence<\/a> in the US, along with various other inconvenient issues<\/a>, then I think we can all agree that Donald Trump has ushered in world peace.<\/p>\n

Good luck convincing the nasty Norwegians on the Nobel committee of that, though. They\u2019ve doled out peace prizes<\/a> to many an alleged war criminal but have a weird grudge against Trump. Still, at least Fifa, an organisation renowned for its impeccable ethics<\/a>, appreciates the president\u2019s efforts. Last Friday, Trump was awarded<\/a> the inaugural Fifa peace prize in an over-the-top ceremony that would have made a lesser man, one burdened with a smidgen of self-awareness, feel like a prize idiot.<\/p>\n

Ridiculous as the Fifa<\/a> peace prize may be, the strategy was sound; if you want something from Trump, you need to flatter his ego. I wouldn\u2019t be surprised if Fifa kickstarts a trend for organisations and corporations bestowing outlandish awards upon the president in an effort to get on his good side. To get the ball rolling I have a few suggestions.<\/p>\n

1. The Volkswagen Golf award
Trump may have German heritage<\/a> \u2013 and has sparked numerous comparisons<\/a> with one particular German head of state \u2013 but he doesn\u2019t have much love for the fatherland. He\u2019s certainly not a fan of its auto industry: in a 2024 interview the former German chancellor Angela Merkel claimed Trump was \u201cobsessed by the fact that, in his view, there were too many German cars in New York<\/a>\u201d. He has since done his best to boot them out; in July, Volkswagen said<\/a> Trump\u2019s US import tariffs cost it more than \u00a31bn in the first half of 2025. If Fifa can give out peace prizes, then the car industry can bestow sports awards. We all know Trump likes to brag about his golfing prowess \u2013 he is always going on about his handicap<\/a>. If Volkswagen came up with some sort of Trump Cup for golfing, it could be a good vehicle for tariff negotiations.<\/p>\n

2. The Big Cheese trophy for making America grate again
It\u2019s not just Germany in Trump\u2019s bad books; the president is not thrilled with France. Last month the president told Fox News<\/a>: \u201cWe\u2019ve had a lot of problems with the French \u2026\u201d Time, peut-\u00eatre, for France\u2019s famous dairy industry to butter him up with an accolade that makes him feel like a grand fromage. The McDonald\u2019s enthusiast is no gourmand, but has an insatiable appetite for adulation.<\/p>\n

3. The Humpty Dumpty prize for eggcellence in the American language
The Trump administration is now trying various tactics, from bullying<\/a> to bribery<\/a>, to get US universities to Maga-fy themselves. Instead of signing dystopian \u201ccompacts\u201d<\/a> for education, I suggest colleges work together to get the president on-side by making him feel special. We all know he has a very high IQ<\/a>, but his verbal dexterity ought to be acknowledged by the educational elite. This is a man who coined the phrase \u201ctruthful hyperbole\u201d<\/a> and brewed up words such as covfefe<\/a>; a man with an \u201cunpresidented\u201d(sic) vocabulary<\/a>. While some say <\/a>he rivals James Joyce in terms of output, <\/a> I think the best literary reference might be Humpty Dumpty. Namely, this quote from Lewis Carroll\u2019s Through the Looking-Glass<\/a>: \u201c\u2018When I use a word,\u2019 Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, \u2018it means just what I choose it to mean \u2013 neither more nor less.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

4. The Energizer Bunny trophy for battery conservation
At 79, Trump is the oldest person ever inaugurated US president. And if you ignore the fact that he keeps being caught on camera dozing off<\/a>, he is bursting with vim and vigour. Particularly when he\u2019s sharing his thoughts on Truth Social. He keeps going, and going, and going \u2026 How does he keep this up? Well, Trump has said he believes the human body is like a battery<\/a> and has a finite amount of energy<\/a>: you can\u2019t exercise too much or you waste it. He might not win any awards for environmental conservation, but Big Battery should find a way to empower him.<\/p>\n

5. The American Gas Association award for lighting the way
While Trump deserves a plethora of prizes, no earthly award really does him justice. He is marching the world into a new golden age; we know this because he keeps saying so. His word is like a lamp to our feet and a light to our path. Some may even say (there are many<\/a> such examples<\/a>!), a gaslight.<\/p>\n

Arwa Mahdawi is a Guardian columnist<\/p>\n

Do you have an opinion on the issues raised in this article? If you would like to submit a response of up to 300 words by email to be considered for publication in our letters<\/a> section, please click here<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"What a privilege it is to be alive in such a peaceful and prosperous time. If you ignore…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":335086,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[440],"tags":[49,48,561,82],"class_list":{"0":"post-335085","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-soccer","8":"tag-ca","9":"tag-canada","10":"tag-soccer","11":"tag-sports"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/335085","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=335085"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/335085\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/335086"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=335085"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=335085"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=335085"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}