{"id":353397,"date":"2025-12-18T14:17:10","date_gmt":"2025-12-18T14:17:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/353397\/"},"modified":"2025-12-18T14:17:10","modified_gmt":"2025-12-18T14:17:10","slug":"my-wife-is-aging-faster-than-me-what-should-we-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/353397\/","title":{"rendered":"My Wife is Aging Faster Than Me \u2014 What Should We Do?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Here\u2019s something a lot of older couples experience that isn\u2019t talked about much: aging at different rates<\/a>, meaning one of you might not want or be able to do all the things you used to, while the other feels just fine.\u00a0<\/p>\n

In the Mood reader I.G. emailed us to say he still wants to go hiking and biking with his wife like they used to. His wife can\u2019t. He wants sex. She doesn\u2019t. He longs to talk about it. She won\u2019t.<\/p>\n

Our sexuality and relationship experts offer guidance.<\/p>\n

My wife and I have been happily married for 49 years. But she is aging faster than me. We used to go mountain hiking, bike riding, roller skating, snow skiing. I remain very active, but all she does now is take short walks. On top of that, her health problems make sex uncomfortable for her, so I feel like she\u2019s killing my sexuality too. The worst part is that she\u2019s not willing to talk about this. Advice?<\/p>\n

The first thing that struck licensed marriage and family therapist Tameca N. Harris-Jackson about your query is the sadness your wife must feel.<\/p>\n

\u201cOthers might read this and say \u2018Oh, poor guy,\u2019 but here\u2019s this woman who probably wants to be more than her body can allow,\u201d she says. \u201cJust because her body is aging doesn\u2019t mean her mind has shifted.\u201d<\/p>\n

Think through what the issues might be. Certified sex therapist Nan Wise suggests asking yourself: \u201cWhat might be making her uncomfortable?\u201d and \u201cIs she worried that if we do talk, it\u2019ll be the end of the marriage?\u201d and \u201cIs she afraid she can\u2019t make any positive changes?\u201d<\/p>\n

Focus on what might be causing her physical pain. It\u2019s unclear from your question whether your wife\u2019s health issues have been diagnosed, but as ob-gyn Maureen Slattery notes, \u201cThey are a reality at this age, and they can create all sorts of limits on comfort, stamina and mobility.\u201d<\/p>\n

Slattery, a certified sexual health counselor and sex educator, says issues like arthritis, joint replacements, diabetes and cardiovascular disease can also change what sex looks like.<\/p>\n

Certified sex therapist Sari Cooper encourages your wife to consult a menopause- and sexuality-trained health care professional about potential treatments if she is experiencing pain during sex.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf someone anticipates experiencing pain, they are most likely going to avoid the physical behavior that provokes that pain,\u201d she notes.<\/p>\n

Have a talk about talking. Certified sex therapist Shadeen Francis recommends revisiting conversations you\u2019ve had in the past that didn\u2019t go well with your wife \u2014 or that never happened \u2014 to figure out how to approach discussing these things with her now.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Here\u2019s something a lot of older couples experience that isn\u2019t talked about much: aging at different rates, meaning…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":353398,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[49,48,153183,153178,153172,153174,153173,153175,153180,153176,153181,153182,153177,153179,61],"class_list":["post-353397","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-technology","tag-ca","tag-canada","tag-consult-sex-therapist","tag-couples-aging-at-different-paces","tag-in-the-mood","tag-keep-long-term-marriage-strong","tag-long-term-marriage","tag-love-after-50","tag-older-adults-sex-advice","tag-romance-after-50","tag-sex-advice-for-older-adults","tag-sex-after-50","tag-sex-after-menopause","tag-sex-counseling","tag-technology"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/353397","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=353397"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/353397\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/353398"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=353397"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=353397"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=353397"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}