Hosts on a podcast <\/p>\n
Have you found yourself making a judgy comment \u2014 even if only in your head \u2014 about a friend or family member\u2019s spending habits? It\u2019s human nature to make comparisons, but it can become harmful when it leads to distraction.<\/p>\n
Sarah called into The Ramsey Show to vent about her struggles with her friend\u2019s financial decisions.<\/p>\n
Sarah is a single mother working hard as a housecleaner to pay off US$3,000 in debt and build an emergency fund, following Dave Ramsey\u2019s Baby Steps<\/a>.<\/p>\n In contrast, she says her friend only works occasionally running a boutique. Since the beginning of the year, Sarah\u2019s friend and her husband have bought and traded four vehicles, including a US$120,000 Escalade.<\/p>\n \u201cThey claim they make money off of these vehicles,\u201d Sarah told co-hosts Jade Warshaw and Rachel Cruze.<\/p>\n Sarah feels the couple could have paid off half their mortgage with the money they used to buy the Escalade. However, her friend says she doesn\u2019t want to pay off her mortgage because she gets \u201ctoo many tax deductions from having a house.\u201d<\/p>\n Though it has no bearing on Sarah\u2019s life, \u201cit kind of drives me crazy,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n Warshaw\u2019s advice to Sarah: \u201cMind your own business and pay off your debt.\u201d However, doing so can be easier said than done.<\/p>\n Sarah\u2019s angst is common \u2014 FP Canada\u2019s 2025 Financial Stress Index indicates 42% of Canadians say money is their top source of psychological strain (1). And this can often be compounded by social dynamics within friend circles.<\/p>\n Many Canadians admit to financially comparing themselves to their peers or overspending to help them feel like they measure up.<\/p>\n As many as 1 in 5 Canadians reported taking on debt so they could spend time with friends, according to a 2025 Grant Thornton Debt Solutions (2). And the desire to match peers hasn\u2019t changed over time: A 2018 Edward Jones survey found a majority of young adults (61%) question how their friends can afford their lifestyles (3).<\/p>\n Ultimately, these statistics show that money worries and social pressures to maintain a specific image can strain relationships, as financial conversations \u2014 or lack thereof \u2014 make up a critical element of personal well-being.<\/p>\n Story Continues <\/p>\n There\u2019s a term used to describe this dynamic: social comparison theory. As described in Psychology Today, social comparison theory suggests that we measure our own social and personal worth by comparing ourselves to others (4).<\/p>\n While comparing yourself to your peers can encourage self-improvement, constantly doing so can \u201cpromote judgmental, biased and overly competitive or superior attitudes.\u201d<\/p>\n As Warshaw pointed out, Sarah works hard for her money, and is diligently paying off her debt. Sarah may feel jealous or resentful toward her friend who demonstrates a more casual attitude toward her finances, making it appear she has it much easier than Sarah.<\/p>\n Instead, Cruze said Sarah would be better off focusing on her own choices around money instead of her friend\u2019s lifestyle.<\/p>\n \u201cThe rent-free space that she has in your brain right now, it\u2019s not worth it,\u201d Cruze said.<\/p>\n She also added that there may be something else happening as Sarah does the work to get her finances in order. When someone makes a major and positive shift in their life, they may start \u201cto gravitate towards people that are like-minded.” And they may start drifting away from people who aren\u2019t congruent with that.<\/p>\n Read more: Here are 5 expenses that Canadians (almost) always overpay for<\/a> \u2014 and very quickly regret. How many are hurting you?<\/p>\n When you measure your financial health against others, it can breed jealousy, resentment, feelings of inadequacy or guilt. But obsessing about it could derail your own goals.<\/p>\n For example, fear of missing out (FOMO) can lead to impulsive decision-making. Maybe that means overspending to \u201ckeep up with the Joneses\u201d or forgoing long-term goals like paying down debt or saving for retirement in favour of short-term gratification.<\/p>\n And FOMO has motivated Canadians to make purchases beyond their means. A study by Citizen Relations shows nearly two-thirds (64%) of Canadians \u2013 especially younger adults \u2014 experience FOMO when they see social media posts about their friends\u2019 lifestyles (5).<\/p>\n Everyone\u2019s financial path is different and we never know what\u2019s really happening in other people\u2019s lives, despite what they might say, or show. Focusing on your own journey could mean:<\/p>\n Building an emergency fund \u2014 ideally enough money to cover three to six months of living expenses so unexpected costs don\u2019t derail your progress<\/p>\n Maintaining a low debt-to-income ratio \u2014 keeping debt manageable gives you more breathing room and reduces stress that often fuels comparison in the first place<\/p>\n Growing your net worth \u2014 by steadily increasing your assets and reducing your liabilities, you\u2019ll create real financial stability instead of chasing what others appear to have<\/p>\n And in some cases, it may mean setting boundaries for the sake of the relationship.<\/p>\n If a friend asks for a loan and you suspect you\u2019ll never see that money again, then it may be better not to loan the money in the first place \u2014 especially in an economic climate where many Canadians are feeling financially pressured. This is a situation where you may need to set hard boundaries \u2014 or have an honest conversation with your friend to reset expectations moving forward.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s OK to have boundaries, Sarah,\u201d Cruze said. \u201cIf you need to set up relational boundaries, that\u2019s okay too.\u201d<\/p>\n In Sarah\u2019s case, she could also choose to lift her friend up rather than put her down and judge her.<\/p>\n It may be hard, \u201cbut we can be kind; we can be curious and not judgmental,\u201d said Cruze. \u201cBut have a level of grace for her and yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n Sarah\u2019s story shows how easy it can be to get caught up in judging your peers\u2019 spending \u2014 and how quickly comparing yourself to them can derail your own financial progress. Social pressures, FOMO and money-related stress are common, but they don\u2019t have to dictate your how you manage your money.<\/p>\n Focusing on your own goals, building healthy financial habits and setting clear boundaries when needed can protect both your friendships \u2014 and your wallet. In the end, staying grounded in your values will matter far more than keeping up with anyone else.<\/p>\n We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our editorial ethics and guidelines<\/a>.<\/p>\n FP Canada (1<\/a>); Grant Thornton (2<\/a>); Cision (3<\/a>); Psychology Today (4<\/a>); PR Newswire (5<\/a>)<\/p>\n This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. 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