“I was so mentally driven by what I could achieve that I didn’t think of the people in my life. I didn’t think of my safety. I was just like, \u2018Oh, I want to chase these huge goals and the bike ride is honestly something that makes me feel like I could do that again.”<\/p>\n
CANMORE \u2014 A little over a year ago Giordano Pillarella<\/a> thought he may never walk again, let alone ski.<\/p>\n Now he\u2019s about to bike 4,000 kilometres from Canmore to Montreal, Quebec, to raise awareness and support for those, like him, who have experienced trauma in the mountains.<\/p>\n Caught in a serious avalanche in March 2024, Pillarella was left with a broken back, pelvis and hand. While he recovered from his injuries after a long road of surgeries and physio, the mental healing was another story.<\/p>\n \u201cThe mental aspect of it has been a long journey\u2026 \u200aI was so focused on getting strong again, that it was only like months and months after the injury when I started to get mentally affected by it,\u201d said Pillarella.<\/p>\n With a $5,000 fundraiser goal, Pillarella is donating all the money he raises from his cross-Canada ride to Mountain Muskox \u2014 a local organization offering community support and healing for those impacted by incidents in the mountains.<\/p>\n \u201cI just wanted to raise money for something that I think people should be a part of, myself included, like to try to reach out to a community that knows how you’re feeling,\u201d said Pillarella.<\/p>\n \u201cI haven’t actually gone [to Mountain Muskox], but I do plan to one day … It feels kind of odd sometimes when I know that I’m trying to raise money for a cause and it’s something I support, of course, but it’s something like I haven’t actually been a part of \u2026 so this whole thing is basically about that. It’s like trying to build up the courage to go and get help.\u201d<\/p>\n On the day of the accident, Pillarella was skiing Gutentight Couloir on Bow Peak in Banff National Park alongside friend Mattias Hofmann. They were about to make their way down a choke section of the line when the entire headwall came down, funneling through the bottleneck toward Pillarella.<\/p>\n \u201cA lot of snow came right at me and then I just went flying. I don’t really remember much. I was in the air for a while. It felt pretty crazy,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n Partially buried when he finally landed, Pillarella was able to clear his airways while Hofmann was quick to his side, calling for search and rescue.<\/p>\n \u201cI definitely knew I could have been paralyzed by the feelings I was having,\u201d he said, recalling the moments after the slide.<\/p>\n Eleven days in the hospital and a long road of recovery later, Pillarella was back on his skis in November of that year, determined to regain strength even if it meant fighting through pain.<\/p>\n \u201cI think I kind of lied to myself a little bit for the first few months by telling myself and telling friends like, \u2018Oh, I’m not scared, I just don’t think it’s worth it\u2019 but then reality was I was probably really scared,\u201d said Pillarella.<\/p>\n \u201cI think it changes you without even knowing.\u201d<\/p>\n In an effort to feel normal again, Pillarella said he would brush off the accident when people asked about it, not wanting to revisit what happened.<\/p>\n \u201cAll that denial of sharing is a reason why I hit a brick wall mentally after a while. I think what’s felt the best since the injury is actually being vulnerable,\u201d he\u00a0said.<\/p>\n \u201cThere’s obviously a lot of tough barriers that I wish I could just break through, which I bet would help me a ton, but they’re not easy.”<\/p>\n \u201cI think Mountain Muskox is an incredibly good idea and that’s why everyone always talks about it. Therapy is like the hardest thing to go to. It’s not easy to be vulnerable but when you are it feels so good.\u201d<\/p>\n
Pushing limits<\/p>\n Fuelled by the challenging objectives and tough goals, Pillarella was quick to fall in love with mountaineering, ski touring and climbing when he moved to the Rockies from Montreal in 2019.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve always liked sports that I’m able to test my mental toughness,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n Cycling for the first time this summer, it wasn\u2019t long before Pillarella was hooked on the sport and setting new goals \u2014 50 km soon turned into 180 and then 250.<\/p>\n \u201cMy body felt good, which was the biggest thing,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n For Pillarella, strapping on skis or tying into a rope are the experiences that allow him to feel like a kid again.<\/p>\n \u201cI think if people are trying to understand why the mountains pull people into these crazy sports it is because it’s difficult to overcome it, but when you do it feels incredibly powerful. It makes you go home, and you love your shower like 10 times more \u2026 it gives so much value to the little things,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n \u201cI feel like one of the most difficult parts mentally was I just feel like a part of me died in that accident. I don’t have that drive to push so hard anymore and it bothers me sometimes\u2026 it was difficult to realize that that was the truth.\u201d<\/p>\n After training for the ride, getting stronger and realizing the trip was attainable, Pillarella\u00a0said he felt he found that passion for chasing big objectives again \u2014 the same feeling he found pushing the limits in the mountains.<\/p>\n \u201cNow that I look back on [the accident], it wasn’t a good side of me \u2026 I was so mentally driven by what I could achieve that I didn’t think of the people in my life,\u201d he said. \u201cI didn’t think of my safety. I was just like, \u2018Oh, I want to chase these huge goals,’ and the bike ride is honestly something that makes me feel like I could do that again.\u201d<\/p>\n Pillarella knows the physical challenge of the ride won\u2019t be easy, but he\u2019s ready to push himself, knowing there\u2019s a purpose behind the miles.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s going to suck, but I love that. I love that it\u2019s going to suck,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n Starting Aug. 1, with close to 80 per cent of his funding goal reached, Pillarella\u2019s objective is to make it to Montreal in less than 20 days.<\/p>\n Joined by friend, Michio Green, for the first three days, Pillarella says day one from Canmore to Brooks will be his biggest ride at approximately 300 km \u2014 most days after that he\u2019ll hit about 200 km.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m getting messages from people in Winnipeg, in Saskatchewan being like, \u2018Hey, I heard about your bike ride if you need a place to stay or if you need food one night\u2019 and I’m just like, wow, the amount of support that I’ve seen from a community is \u2026. unbelievable,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n \u201cThere\u2019s a lot of good people out there and a lot of people with big hearts and I think this fundraiser has taught me that and it’s made me a lot more positive.\u201d<\/p>\n Completing most of his ride alone, Pillarella will be joined by his mom who will \u201ccrew\u201d him home for the last leg to Montreal.<\/p>\n Pillarella expressed gratitude to his girlfriend, Leah Parisotto, his mom and sister who have been constant sources of support throughout the recovery journey.<\/p>\n \u201cI want to make sure that people know that what motivates me are the people I care about,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n He hopes that the ride won\u2019t just be about his story, but that others will be able to connect to the initiative and know that their experiences and their stories matter too.<\/p>\n \u201cI don’t want to be the focus of it. The focus is Mountain Muskox. It’s weird though you can’t pull yourself away from a task like this, but it feels better for me knowing that it\u2019s about everyone’s story, not [just] my story. That’s the biggest thing,\u201d said Pillarella.<\/p>\n Support through community<\/p>\n Clinical psychologist and Mountain Muskox board member, Geoff Powter said there\u2019s an “interesting conundrum\u201d in mountain trauma.<\/p>\n \u201cIn the mountain community \u2026 people know that loss does happen, and trauma does happen, but when it happens to individual people, it seems universally like people are surprised by that,\u201d said Powter.<\/p>\n \u201cBecause people in the outdoors want to try and do whatever they can to protect themselves from mountain trauma they judge when traumas happen and they can be a pretty judgmental community that looks at other people in accidents and say things like, \u2018Well, they shouldn’t have done this, or they shouldn’t have done that or why were they there or they didn’t make good decisions.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n Bringing together mentors, counsellors and fellow outdoor recreationalists, Powter said Mountain Muskox connects participants with a community that understands all those factors, providing support through a network of people with shared experiences.<\/p>\n With peer support groups and through tools for handling grief, guilt and self-regulation, the organization walks alongside those who love the mountains but have also experienced loss and heartache in them.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cI think Mountain Muskox is an awesome group because I know that one day, when I find the courage to go, I know it’ll help \u2026 because I’ve felt it firsthand where talking with friends and coping with it, [it\u2019s] the only thing that makes me walk away from that conversation and feel like weights actually off my shoulders,\u201d said Pillarella.<\/p>\n Powter said that Muskox also recognizes the importance of helping participants feel like they can return to the mountains again \u2014 especially for those, like guides, whose livelihoods are connected to those\u00a0landscapes.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cI think Muskox does a really good job of helping people feel like the way that they’re responding, the way that [an incident is] impacting them is normal, other people have been through it and that’s actually a really healthy process,\u201d he added.<\/p>\n All support circles offered by Mountain Muskox are free of charge.<\/p>\n To support Pillarella\u2019s fundraiser ride visit: gofundme.com\/f\/pedalling-for-healing-4000km-for-mountain-mental-health<\/a>.<\/p>\n The Local Journalism Initiative is funded by the Government of Canada. The position covers \u00cey\u00e2rhe (Stoney) Nakoda First Nation and Kananaskis Country.<\/p>\n
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