{"id":412656,"date":"2026-01-16T07:40:27","date_gmt":"2026-01-16T07:40:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/412656\/"},"modified":"2026-01-16T07:40:27","modified_gmt":"2026-01-16T07:40:27","slug":"the-motherhood-penalty-an-accountant-and-mother-explains-the-hidden-costs-of-parenting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/412656\/","title":{"rendered":"The \u2018motherhood penalty\u2019: An accountant (and mother) explains the hidden costs of parenting"},"content":{"rendered":"

Open this photo in gallery:<\/a><\/p>\n

Carleton University assistant professor Oriane Couchoux says motherhood changes how women think about money.ROGER LEMOYNE\/The Globe and Mail<\/p>\n

As a professor of accounting at Carleton University, Oriane Couchoux has devoted most of her career to understanding how large organizations track finances. But six years ago, after she had her first child, she became interested in a different kind of accounting: household accounting. <\/p>\n

As part of a study published last month in Critical Perspectives on Accounting, she interviewed Canadian women to understand how motherhood impacts financial decision-making. Along with co-author Gabrielle Patry-Beaudoin from Universit\u00e9 de Sherbrooke, they found that, beyond the widely recognized gender income gap and \u201cmotherhood penalty,\u201d women who have children quietly absorb a wide range of other hidden costs, too. <\/p>\n

This is because, she says, motherhood fundamentally shifts how women think about money. And it\u2019s a shift that can leave them at a long-term disadvantage.<\/p>\n

What triggered this research?<\/p>\n

After I had my first child, we couldn\u2019t put her down to nap anywhere. So I always had to carry her. I became obsessed with baby carriers. It was the only way I could cook for myself, or do anything else. I bought, like, three baby carriers, because I couldn\u2019t find one that was comfortable. <\/p>\n

I made those purchases myself. I thought, \u201cI\u2019m not going to charge the joint account.\u201d I remember thinking, \u201cIt\u2019s a little excessive, buying a third carrier because I don\u2019t like the other ones.\u201d I was framing it as something for me and not for the baby. <\/p>\n

And then after the fact, I wondered, \u201cWhy did I do that?\u201d<\/p>\n

And what did the women you interviewed tell you? <\/p>\n

We already know that, as main caregivers, motherhood means reduced paid work, slower career progression and lower lifetime earnings. We were very interested in going beyond the income gap, and looking at how motherhood might change women\u2019s everyday financial thinking and behaviour: What type of purchase they prioritize, how they use their money, how they see money and how they decide what to buy.<\/p>\n

Our research shows that motherhood changes how money is managed day to day \u2013 that mothers are more likely to handle routine purchases and to absorb these costs, at times quietly, without necessarily tracking or sharing them with their co-parent.<\/p>\n

What we found is that beyond the difference in income, the cultural and societal expectations of what a \u201cgood mother\u201d should be, really shape how women relate to money after becoming mothers. So women tend to believe that being a good mother requires financial sacrifice. And that money is a resource that should be dedicated to children. <\/p>\n

What kinds of sacrifices are we talking about?<\/p>\n

There were little examples, like mothers buying new clothes for their kids, while keeping their own 20-year-old clothes. Of mothers just prioritizing their children every time. <\/p>\n

Many of our interviewees explained that they had stopped doing things that they used to do and love, in terms of leisurely activities \u2013 sacrificing the things they love for their children. <\/p>\n

And then there were big examples that, as an accountant, I found really concerning. Many, many women told us that they save carefully for their children\u2019s future education, but have stopped contributing to their own retirement. Or that they\u2019ve significantly decreased savings for their own retirement. <\/p>\n

So the obvious question is, why weren\u2019t these costs equally shared by fathers or co-parents? [Note: The vast majority of women the researchers spoke with were in heterosexual families.] <\/p>\n

Many of the daily costs related to children \u2013 food, clothing, school supplies, activities \u2013 are often smaller amounts, treated as part of \u201ccare\u201d rather than big financial decisions that need to be discussed and shared and analyzed. So they\u2019re not getting tracked as often. <\/p>\n

Okay, what are some of the other reasons these costs aren\u2019t getting shared equally?<\/p>\n

The interviewees also made comments along the lines of, \u201cI want to be independent. It\u2019s part of my job, as a mom, to make sure that I can provide for my children.\u201d So there is also this discourse of being a responsible financial manager \u2013 of \u201cI made a decision to have children. I shouldn\u2019t need anybody else to pay for the expenses.\u201d<\/p>\n

That seems pretty significant.<\/p>\n

In research, this is what we call intensive mothering \u2013 that expectation that women, as main caregivers, will do everything to make sure their children are happy and healthy and reach their full potential. It\u2019s really seen as a mother\u2019s responsibility, more than a parent\u2019s responsibility.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s something else, too, for many mothers. They\u2019ll say, \u201cI don\u2019t want to put a number on my children.\u201d Because for many women, even thinking about calculating or tracking how much they spend on their children, that\u2019s almost taboo. <\/p>\n

Another phenomenon we\u2019ve noticed is sometimes women, on purpose, are hiding these expenses. Either because they don\u2019t want to have to negotiate, or discuss with the father or co-parent to see if they agree with the expense. So they\u2019ll buy the expensive pyjamas for the child, and pay for them themselves.<\/p>\n

So what are some solutions?<\/p>\n

I think the first step is really tracking how much you actually spend on your children, including everything: clothes, food, activities and daycare and school and transportation \u2013 all of it. And then I think a very important thing is to have explicit financial conversation with your spouse, your partner, your co-parent, talking about what those expenses are, and who covers them. About how savings are divided, and how caregiving affects income. <\/p>\n

We know these are uncomfortable conversations. People are not always comfortable talking about money, even in couples and in families. But it\u2019s important. <\/p>\n

Silence really can lead to inequality, even in relationships that think of themselves as being loving and supporting. But I think that discomfort is the first step to making sure you don\u2019t sacrifice your long-term financial security.<\/p>\n

This interview has been edited and condensed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Open this photo in gallery: Carleton University assistant professor Oriane Couchoux says motherhood changes how women think about…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":412657,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[45,49,48,133,45877,2922,131,132],"class_list":{"0":"post-412656","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-personal-finance","8":"tag-business","9":"tag-ca","10":"tag-canada","11":"tag-finance","12":"tag-lc-g","13":"tag-noastack","14":"tag-personal-finance","15":"tag-personalfinance"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/412656","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=412656"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/412656\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/412657"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=412656"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=412656"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=412656"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}