{"id":422750,"date":"2026-01-21T03:15:11","date_gmt":"2026-01-21T03:15:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/422750\/"},"modified":"2026-01-21T03:15:11","modified_gmt":"2026-01-21T03:15:11","slug":"senators-linus-ullmark-opens-up-about-personal-leave-i-felt-like-i-lost-myself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/422750\/","title":{"rendered":"Senators\u2019 Linus Ullmark opens up about personal leave: \u2018I felt like I lost myself\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"

COLUMBUS, Ohio \u2014 Linus Ullmark revealed he took a personal leave of absence from the Ottawa Senators for mental health reasons in an interview with TSN\u2019s Claire Hanna that aired Tuesday afternoon<\/a>. Ullmark discussed a variety of topics in the interview, including how rumors about why he left the team affected him.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt takes one rumor to make you feel like everything that you\u2019ve worked for and that everything that you stand for is ruined,\u201d Ullmark said. \u201cAnd that is really f\u2014ing hard, and nothing that I wish anyone upon that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sens G Linus Ullmark sat down with TSN\u2019s Claire Hanna and discussed his leave of absence from the team. Full sit down will be posted to TSN’s YouTube channel and https:\/\/t.co\/XalW2j4LtU<\/a> later today. pic.twitter.com\/hG45Jk1bno<\/a><\/p>\n

\u2014 TSN (@TSN_Sports) January 20, 2026<\/a><\/p>\n

The 32-year-old goaltender hasn\u2019t played a game for the Senators since Dec. 27 against the Toronto Maple Leafs, when he was pulled after allowing four goals on 14 shots in a 7-5 loss.<\/p>\n

Ullmark said his mental health struggles date back to when he was traded to Ottawa from Boston in June 2024, and that those struggles weren\u2019t \u201cdealt with in the right way,\u201d leading to issues \u201cpiling\u201d on. Ullmark also mentioned being familiar with depression and sadness since his father\u2019s passing in January 2021. The Toronto game last month, Ullmark said, was the tipping point.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt comes a time, and you never know when the cup starts to overflow,\u201d Ullmark said.<\/p>\n

The netminder said he experienced anxiety before the game and during the first intermission, before eventually being pulled from the game. Afterward, Ullmark said he contacted a health professional from the NHL\/NHLPA player assistance program and decided to take a personal leave from the team<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m f\u2014ed up,\u201d Ullmark said. \u201cI need help.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ullmark said he was told by the Senators\u2019 communications staff that rumors about the reason for the netminder\u2019s absence began swirling less than 24 hours after his leave was announced. He said he initially laughed it off before a number of people reached out to him to question the rumors\u2019 validity. When he spoke to the team\u2019s vice president of communications about the rumor, Ullmark said he was \u201cfurious.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd people wonder why hockey players, professional athletes, are not talking,\u201d Ullmark said. \u201cWhy we\u2019re not showing any sort of emotions. Why mental health in men and in women are a stigma. It took them less than 24 hours from my absence of leave to try to find reasons (as) to why I\u2019m gone. Saying that I\u2019m a home wrecker. A person that no one likes on the team. And I can\u2019t defend myself. I didn\u2019t know about this until days later.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd it sucks because I have a family. I have a wife, I have kids. I get sent text messages asking, like, \u2018Hey, are you guys good?\u2019 I\u2019m like, \u2018Yeah, why? And then they tell you about the rumors. And you\u2019re like, \u2018What the f\u2014 is wrong with people?\u2019<\/p>\n

Rumors about the reason for Ullmark\u2019s absence were also posted online, prompting Senators general manager and president of hockey operations Steve Staios to release a statement on Jan. 8<\/a>, calling out \u201ctrolls and sick people\u201d for spreading \u201cfabricated and false stories online.\u201d Ullmark\u2019s teammates also spoke in defense of the goaltender and Staios days after the statement was released; he called their reactions \u201cheartwarming.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGetting sent the message that Steve and the organization put out was incredible,\u201d Ullmark said. \u201cAnd then to hear all the nice things that the guys said in the locker room after coming home from that trip. Because all I\u2019m thinking during this time is: \u2018What are they thinking about me?\u2019 Everybody knows it\u2019s untrue, but is this going to put doubts in their mind that I\u2019m not who I am and I\u2019m someone else that I\u2019m trying to be?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ullmark rejoined the Senators last Monday and said he felt \u201cnervous\u201d upon seeing his teammates again, but was ultimately welcomed back with open arms.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt made me very emotional in a good way,\u201d Ullmark said. \u201cA lot of the doubts and a lot of the demons that I had coming into the rink just left the building. And now, the (Canadian Tire Centre) didn\u2019t become a place where I was afraid of (it) and feeling anxiety about entering. It became the place I know where there\u2019s a lot of warmth, there\u2019s a lot of love and there\u2019s a lot of joy as well.\u201d<\/p>\n

That anxiety, Ullmark said, stemmed from self-doubt and questioning who he was.<\/p>\n

\u201cI felt like I lost myself,\u201d Ullmark said. \u201cI didn\u2019t know who I was at the time.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ullmark took the time to thank his wife, Moa, various mental health care professionals, members of the Senators organization and Tampa Bay Lightning defenseman and countryman Victor Hedman for helping him through his mental health struggles. The Senators also invited Ullmark\u2019s old Swedish goalie coach, Maciej Szwoch, to spend time with him in Ottawa.<\/p>\n

Since Ullmark\u2019s return, he\u2019s been skating with his teammates and joined the team on their three-game road trip. The Senators played in Detroit on Sunday before traveling to Columbus. The teams will meet at Nationwide Arena on Tuesday night before Ottawa travels to Nashville to face the Predators on Thursday night.<\/p>\n

Despite being with the team, however, there is no firm timeline for when Ullmark will play another game.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not ready yet,\u201d Ullmark said. \u201cThis is just a step along the way.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ullmark is in the first year of a four-year, $33 million contract extension signed in October 2024, months after the Senators acquired him via trade from Boston. He has a 14-8-5 record with a 2.95 goals-against average and an .881 save percentage in 28 games with the Senators this season. The one-time NHL All-Star won the Vezina and Jennings Trophies during the 2022-23 season as a member of the Bruins and represented Team Sweden at the 4 Nations Face-Off last February.<\/p>\n

Ullmark said that by sharing his struggles publicly, he hopes it will help him heal.<\/p>\n

\u201cI just wanted to feel whole again,\u201d Ullmark said. \u201cI wanted to be me. I wanted to be (and) feel like myself again.\u201d<\/p>\n