{"id":436133,"date":"2026-01-27T09:10:13","date_gmt":"2026-01-27T09:10:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/436133\/"},"modified":"2026-01-27T09:10:13","modified_gmt":"2026-01-27T09:10:13","slug":"the-seven-stages-of-signing-up-for-a-spring-race","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/436133\/","title":{"rendered":"The Seven Stages of Signing Up for a Spring Race"},"content":{"rendered":"

Here are the seven scientifically accurate stages of signing up for a spring race.<\/p>\n

1. Optimism (the delusion)<\/p>\n

You see the event. The date is far enough away that anything feels possible. You\u2019re full of beans. Your legs feel fast walking to the fridge.<\/p>\n

You sign up. You announce it. You buy a fresh pair of socks.<\/p>\n

You say things like \u201cthis will motivate me to train consistently.\u201d
You are already doomed.<\/p>\n

2. Spreadsheet euphoria<\/p>\n

The plan begins. Colour-coded. Week by week. Base, build, peak.
You download apps. You schedule rest days like a reasonable adult.
You make a nutrition strategy. You Google \u201chow many grams of protein is too many if I\u2019m just sitting on the couch thinking about training?\u201d<\/p>\n

You are elite. You are organised. You are a god.<\/p>\n

\"why-is-everyone-suddenly-training-like-a-pro\"\/<\/a> <\/p>\n


\n Why Is Everyone Suddenly Training Like a Pro?
\n <\/a><\/p>\n

3. The motivational wobble<\/p>\n

One week in: cold. Second week: dark. Third week: existential.<\/p>\n

Your long ride becomes a medium ride becomes a low-effort Zwift<\/a> spin while watching Bake Off.
You miss one session. Then two. Then your spreadsheet haunts you like a disappointed parent.<\/p>\n

You consider revising the goal to \u201cjust finish.\u201d<\/p>\n

4. The recommitment montage<\/p>\n

Suddenly it\u2019s real. You get serious again.
Intervals are hit. Core work begins. You film yourself doing planks. You play the Rocky theme music.
You eat a salad and feel smug for 11 minutes.<\/p>\n

You post \u201cGetting there \ud83d\udcaa\u201d with no context. You are definitely not getting there.<\/p>\n

5. Equipment panic<\/p>\n

The race is weeks away. Your bike starts making a noise.
Your shoes feel wrong. Your helmet looks \u201ctoo last season.\u201d
You convince yourself a new chainring will unlock fitness.<\/p>\n

You spend 3 hours comparing tyres.
You forget to actually ride the bike.<\/p>\n

6. FTP denial<\/p>\n

Someone mentions testing.
You pretend not to hear.
You finally attempt it. The results are\u2026 honest. Painfully honest.<\/p>\n

You try again, this time after a better breakfast. It\u2019s somehow worse.
You Google: \u201ccan FTP be faked convincingly,\u201d \u201chow to look fast in photos,\u201d and \u201crace day sandbagging etiquette.\u201d<\/p>\n

You decide power is a social construct.<\/p>\n

7. Race week chaos<\/p>\n

Suddenly it\u2019s here.<\/p>\n

You haven\u2019t packed. Your front derailleur picks this exact moment to act possessed.
You develop a mysterious knee twinge. You try on every kit combination ever made.<\/p>\n

You spend 90 minutes pre-race cleaning your bike as a form of emotional therapy.
You say \u201cI\u2019m just doing it for fun\u201d but your heart rate monitor disagrees.<\/p>\n

Spring races are never just about racing<\/p>\n

They\u2019re about overcommitting, mildly regretting it, and doing it anyway.<\/p>\n

You might suffer. You might thrive. You might cry while trying to eat a gel sideways in a headwind.<\/p>\n

But you\u2019ll show up. You\u2019ll pedal. And at some point, hopefully before the cramps, you\u2019ll remember why you signed up in the first place.<\/p>\n

And then, obviously, you\u2019ll immediately sign up for another one.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Here are the seven scientifically accurate stages of signing up for a spring race. 1. Optimism (the delusion)…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":436134,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[445],"tags":[49,48,635,82],"class_list":["post-436133","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-cycling","tag-ca","tag-canada","tag-cycling","tag-sports"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/436133","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=436133"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/436133\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/436134"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=436133"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=436133"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=436133"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}