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<\/p>\nA young woman who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder aged 22 following a psychotic episode and arrest at London Stansted Airport has shared her story to raise awareness about the condition and to encourage others to seek support.<\/p>\n
Growing up in Stroud, Rosie van Amerongen, now aged 29, said she quickly recognised she was different from her peers and was often labelled as \u201creactive\u201d and \u201csensitive\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cOne of the earliest signs was when I was 15 I had a friend who developed anorexia, and I got more upset by the situation than she did. I ended up having to take some time off school because I was so anxious about seeing her deteriorate,\u201d Rosie told PA Real Life.<\/p>\n
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Rosie said she was often labelled as sensitive growing up (Rosie van Amerongen\/PA Real Life)<\/p>\n
\u201cI remember the word sensitive started being attached to me. Everyone was like \u2018oh Rosie\u2019s so sensitive\u2019, and when a family member became unwell I couldn\u2019t handle it and I kept having breakdowns.<\/p>\n
\u201cI moved school in sixth form to be away from the situation but went into a depression and it was really crippling. I thought once I left school it would be better, but it wasn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
Rosie added that although she struggled with her mental health from a young age, she was always mindful to conceal it from those around her.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen I look back at that time, in videos I seem super happy in the way I presented myself, but I knew that I was masking from quite a young age,\u201d said Rosie.<\/p>\n
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Rosie said she masked a lot of her symptoms in an attempt to appear \u2018normal\u2019 (Cece Di Paolo\/PA Real Life)<\/p>\n
\u201cI was someone who would hate for anyone in the world to know how depressed I was, except from my mum.\u201d<\/p>\n
She described this masking process as physically and mentally exhausting.<\/p>\n
\u201cMasking is just like acting,\u201d said Rosie.<\/p>\n
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Masking her symptoms was a draining experience (Cece Di Paolo\/PA Real Life)<\/p>\n
\u201cI just didn\u2019t feel like I could ever show that I was depressed or high. The energy it takes to mask it is so exhausting that you just burn out a lot.\u201d<\/p>\n
After learning more about bipolar disorder over the past few years and becoming a Bipolar UK ambassador, she has come to understand that everyone experiences the condition differently, though intense highs and lows are a common thread.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think it is just that breadth in mood and the extremes which bonds people with bipolar. It brings out different parts of people\u2019s personalities and you feel things on a level which is overwhelming,\u201d said Rosie.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen I\u2019m low, it\u2019s beyond tears. My eyesight, my sense of smell, everything is heightened.\u201d<\/p>\n
Rosie was working as a model aged 21 when these highs and lows intensified, triggering a spiral of events that culminated in a crisis point.<\/p>\n
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Rosie said that being put on SSRIs felt like being on cocaine (Cece Di Paolo\/PA Real Life)<\/p>\n
\u201cI was in a really loving relationship, and overnight something just flipped in my head,\u201d said Rosie.<\/p>\n
\u201cFor eight months, I was navigating the worst anxiety and depression I had ever experienced which meant I had to stop working and was constantly calling ambulances and having panic attacks.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was put on SSRIs and it felt like being on cocaine. I couldn\u2019t sleep or concentrate and my heart felt like it was beating at a million miles an hour all the time. I lost faith that I would ever feel normal again.\u201d<\/p>\n
After her partner broke up with her during a severe low, Rosie said she remembers feeling a distinctive internal shift, which she initially thought was recovery from depression but later recognised as hypomania.<\/p>\n
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Rosie wrote a book about her experience of living with bipolar called Completely Normal And Totally Fine: My Life With Bipolar Disorder (Cece Di Paolo\/PA Real Life)<\/p>\n
\u201cMy thoughts suddenly became so positive and grateful that I\u2019d overcome this illness and my language became very spiritual. Then it flipped into delusion,\u201d shared the former model.<\/p>\n
\u201cI started thinking I was a reincarnation of a sibling who had died and was manically posting on Instagram saying that I\u2019d been sent by God.\u201d<\/p>\n
She shared that she was only sectioned and diagnosed with bipolar after being arrested at London Stansted Airport after a psychotic episode.<\/p>\n
\u201cI went into full psychosis at Stansted Airport and jumped through baggage drop off and got arrested. At that point, my hallucinations were so loud. I was hearing voices that were telling me that Satan was coming,\u201d said Rosie.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think that was my way of reaching crisis point that signalled that I needed help. That was when I got sectioned and stayed in hospital under the supervision of nurses who helped me manage my symptoms in the height of mania in a safe environment.<\/p>\n
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She described feeling both anxious and relieved about her diagnosis (Cece Di Paolo\/PA Real Life)<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t remember much of my time in there, but afterwards I learnt that I would have support for the rest of my life and that I didn\u2019t have to manage it alone.<\/p>\n
\u201cInitially it was excitement and this feeling of relief that I hadn\u2019t been mad my whole life and that something was different, but then came seven months of crippling depression and suicidal thoughts.<\/p>\n
\u201cAt 21, I just wanted to be normal.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was a horrible experience to go through a diagnosis, and I just feel so sorry for someone at that age, because no one can promise you as well that you\u2019re going to have a stable life. It was the worst time of my life.\u201d<\/p>\n
According to a survey conducted by Bipolar UK last year, 85% of respondents believed their experiences with stigma have caused them to think less about themselves and their abilities.<\/p>\n
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Rosie said that she felt like a burden after coming out of hospital (Cece Di Paolo\/PA Real Life)<\/p>\n
Since getting diagnosed with bipolar, Rosie said she has noticed a stigma of shame and misunderstanding around the condition.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat first month out of hospital, everyone started to speak to me in a hushed voice, there was so much shame around it,\u201d said Rosie.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was also met with a lot of silence, people just didn\u2019t want to talk about it and that just embedded this feeling that I had done something wrong. That just fuels those thoughts that everyone will be happy without you, that you\u2019re a burden.\u201d<\/p>\n
For Rosie, getting prescribed the right medication was a real breakthrough moment.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy medication \u2013 anti-psychotics, which have mood stabilisers in \u2013 was the biggest breakthrough, because it gave me the energy to sleep properly, but to not over sleep,\u201d said Rosie.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think sleep is number one for managing bipolar. If you\u2019re getting the right amount of hours, you\u2019re going to be feeling so much better.\u201d<\/p>\n
![\"Rosie](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/b77425a067417d0aedc125f7f44da278.jpeg\"\/)
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Rosie has encouraged other people with bipolar to reach out to Bipolar UK to get some support (Cece Di Paolo\/PA Real Life)<\/p>\n
Peer support has also made a huge difference for Rosie, who was connected to other women living with bipolar in London through Bipolar UK.<\/p>\n
\u201cHaving a community of girls in London of a similar age who also have bipolar has been a big turning point for me,\u201d said Rosie. \u201cIt means that when I have a bad day, someone can actually understand what I\u2019m going through, which is really incredible.\u201d<\/p>\n
Rosie hopes that by continuing to share her story online and through her role as a Bipolar UK ambassador, she can help other people feel less alone and address common misconceptions around this condition.<\/p>\n
\u201cI want people to know that anyone can have bipolar. It can affect kind people, shy people, women, men \u2013 it doesn\u2019t discriminate,\u201d said Rosie.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think women are often scared to admit to having bipolar, because they might be speaking at 100 miles an hour, experience crippling depression and experience highs where everyone finds you quite intense.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m so at peace with that now, but I want young women to know that it\u2019s totally normal and it\u2019s not something to be embarrassed by. You don\u2019t have to manage this alone.\u201d<\/p>\n