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Photo: Courtesy of Random House\n <\/p>\n
This week, a woman and her finance-bro friend with benefits have group sex two nights in a row: 29, single, NYC<\/p>\n
DAY ONE\u00a0<\/p>\n
7 a.m. Wake up to a text from Tara. She\u2019s down to meet tonight for drinks \u201cto see where it goes\u201d with Finn, a FWB I\u2019ve been hooking up with for a few weeks. I know where it\u2019ll go: straight to Finn\u2019s apartment. Tara and I had good chemistry on our first date last week, and Finn is really hot, so she\u2019ll be into him. Text Finn. He\u2019s delighted. I\u2019m a big fan of the group dynamic.<\/p>\n
8 a.m. I have a whole day of anticipation ahead. First stop: the gym. Finn and I met online. He works in finance and has a \u201crecovering bad boy\u201d energy that I\u2019m very into. The first night we went out, he got me off over and over, and we\u2019ve beaten our record many times since. Our emotional connection is strong, too. I don\u2019t know where it\u2019s going to go, but I\u2019d consider something more serious with him if the timing aligns.<\/p>\n
2 p.m. The workday could not drag any slower. I advise very wealthy families on their philanthropic strategies. It can be fun, but not as fun as daydreaming about tonight.<\/p>\n
5 p.m. Wrapping up. Planning my look. I\u2019m going to wear red boots and curl my hair.<\/p>\n
8 p.m. Quick call with Finn while I do my makeup. Tara is so hot. Also, she\u2019s progressive and intelligent, both of which are critical for me.\u00a0I only want the best of the best, which makes it harder for us to find people to hook up with, even though we\u2019ve been on that mission since we met.<\/p>\n
9 p.m. Meet Finn at the bar. He loves the outfit. Men are ultimately predictable, which means they\u2019re not hard to please. Tara meets us shortly after and looks fantastic. She\u2019s clearly nervous, but I\u2019m great in my role as the bridge between the two. Finn and I are very extroverted.<\/p>\n
10 p.m. Finn pays and we go to a sultrier bar. The best date move is a casual spot for drinks, then a dimly lit, speakeasy-esque joint. Tara seems attracted to Finn, which makes me happy. A lot of times when I hook up with couples, I meet the woman first, and she oversells the man\u2019s appearance. You expect Jacob Elordi and are instead greeted by \u2026 not Jacob Elordi. It\u2019s important to me that Tara gets what she wants out of this.<\/p>\n
10:30 p.m. We attempt to hook up in the bathroom. A bartender yells, \u201cSorry, one at a time!\u201d Why have a big bathroom if people can\u2019t have threesomes? This city has gotten soft.<\/p>\n
11 p.m. We go back to Finn\u2019s. Tara is an active participant, takes direction, and is equally attentive to us. Very fun. Sometimes women have a clear preference, which can detract from the experience. Unless, of course, she prefers me.<\/p>\n
4 a.m. Tara and I get Ubers. Damn, that was fun, but I\u2019m exhausted.<\/p>\n
DAY TWO<\/p>\n
11 a.m. Finn and Tara both text about last night. They can\u2019t wait to do it again. It\u2019s easy for one person to feel left out, but our balance was great.<\/p>\n
12 p.m. Therapy. A few months ago, I couldn\u2019t even think about sex without freaking out. I have OCD, and for the past six months, I\u2019ve gone hard at exposure therapy, which involves forcing myself to be exposed to triggers like sexual or \u201cimmoral\u201d ideas and imagery. It\u2019s rid me of my need to compulse almost entirely. (I don\u2019t really think sex is immoral, but that\u2019s OCD for ya.)<\/p>\n
1:30 p.m. Finn texts. A girl we\u2019ve been messaging with wants to hook up tonight. I\u2019m beat after yesterday, plus therapy, plus work, but he sends a picture and she\u2019s hot. I\u2019m down if we do it early. I can\u2019t be doing the 4 a.m. bedtime again.<\/p>\n
4:30 p.m. Head to Finn\u2019s. I prefer to meet women 1:1 for drinks first to feel out the vibe, then introduce them to him, but 2026 is my year of adventure, so I\u2019m trying to be more spontaneous, and less of a stickler for optimized processes.<\/p>\n
6 p.m. The girl is \u2026 interesting. The photos were generous, and I don\u2019t think she has a bisexual bone in her body. I end up playing more of a supporting role, which is not my thing. Finn does a good job of trying to get her to engage with me, but there\u2019s barely even an attempt on her part. I don\u2019t want anyone to violate their boundaries, but she said she was down for us both \u2026<\/p>\n
7 p.m. Going home. Some people are into watching, but I\u2019m not one of them. She says she\u2019s going to stay, though Finn politely hints at having stuff to do. Whatever, good luck with that. Not to be the most type-A person alive, but this is why we stick to the process. There\u2019s a very specific etiquette to threesomes and a formula that guarantees success, but men throw quality to the wind if it means instant gratification.<\/p>\n
DAY THREE<\/p>\n
6 a.m. Caffeinating like a madwoman as I get ready for the gym.<\/p>\n
8:30 a.m. Arrive at the office, which is two blocks away from my gym in midtown. My office is right next to that of one of my best friends. I tell her all about my weekend of back-to-back threesomes.<\/p>\n
12 p.m.\u00a0 I get a text from a couple I haven\u2019t hooked up with yet. We\u2019ve been working on it for a few weeks now. They spend a lot of time up north, and it\u2019s been a busy season for me, but we\u2019re both free tomorrow night. We make plans to meet at a bar.<\/p>\n
6 p.m. Finally, I can go home. These days, I\u2019m much more into my life outside work. I wasn\u2019t able to have a social life for a long time because of my OCD, so I overcompensated and leaned the entire way into work. It paid off, but my current situation feels so new and exciting. I\u2019m probably overdoing it, and I\u2019m sure I\u2019ll strike a balance eventually but, until then, may these wild oats continue to be sown with the 10s of New York City \ud83d\ude4f, amen.<\/p>\n
8 p.m. Text the couple that I\u2019m excited to see them and they both respond in kind. The woman sends a sexy pic. She\u2019s so hot it\u2019s stupid. I read my book, Empire of Pain, and fall asleep early.<\/p>\n
DAY FOUR\u00a0<\/p>\n
6 a.m. Wake to a text from my sexy British man, Mr. Darcy. I met him on Feeld. He lives in London but travels to the city frequently for work. Hearing him talk in his little accent is incredibly hot. He\u2019s much older and looks like Patrick Dempsey with longer hair.<\/p>\n
9 a.m. Post-gym coffee and gossip with my best friend. I truly don\u2019t know what I\u2019d do without her. Sometimes I think about leaving this job, and someday I will, but not working next to your best friend sounds awful.<\/p>\n
11:30 a.m. Mr. Darcy asks what I\u2019m doing tonight. He loves hearing about my threesomes, at least while he\u2019s across the pond. He\u2019s unexpectedly sweet and has a lot of depth to him. He asks me about what I\u2019m reading and says that books are like \u201ca window into the soul.\u201d I\u2019d be rolling my eyes if he wasn\u2019t so hot.<\/p>\n
3 p.m. Ask Mr. Darcy if he\u2019s ever heard of certain exclusive play parties in London and New York City. I got invited to join by another couple who are deep in the scene. Mr. Darcy and I each apply, and I get accepted right away. They have one coming up in London, but none scheduled in New York yet. We plan to keep an eye out so we can go together.<\/p>\n
5 p.m. Leave work to get ready. This is what I love about sleeping with older people: You\u2019re in, you\u2019re out, and you\u2019re in bed by 10 p.m. A steamy evening that ends in eight hours of sleep? Talk dirty to me.<\/p>\n
7 p.m. At the bar to meet my couple. The woman is so hot, and crazy tall. I\u2019m not as attracted to the man. That\u2019s pretty standard for me, and he\u2019s cool, so it\u2019s fine.<\/p>\n
8 p.m. After two drinks, we head to her huge, well-decorated apartment. She\u2019s clearly wealthy. The sex is tame, but that isn\u2019t necessarily bad. The man and I are in missionary with the woman playing a supporting role. Main character or not, she\u2019s great. I love hooking up with older women. They\u2019re much more confident than girls in their 20s.<\/p>\n
10:30 p.m. Home, showered, cozy in bed. Tonight was fun, and I know they want to see me again. Not to brag.<\/p>\n
DAY FIVE\u00a0<\/p>\n
8 a.m. Mr. Darcy asks about last night. One of my favorite parts of sleeping with couples is recalling the details for other men. He asks about the guy. I say he was sweet, which makes Mr. Darcy laugh. Apparently, men don\u2019t want dates to describe them as sweet. That\u2019s an oversight, since sweet is pretty much the best thing a man can be.<\/p>\n
11 a.m. It\u2019s shaping up to be a busy day with a lot of Zoom calls, which is fine, but exhausting.<\/p>\n
12 p.m. Lunch with my best friend. We go to a small caf\u00e9 for salads every day. I keep meaning to be better at meal prepping, but who wants to give up walk-and-friend time?<\/p>\n
1 p.m. Mr. Darcy gets accepted into the club we applied to, thank god. I really want to go, but by myself. People in this scene are typically great about consent, boundaries, and communication, but it only takes one bad experience for everything to go down the drain.<\/p>\n
3 p.m. Scrolling on Feeld on a break, even though my roster is too full as it is. Dating is just so fun, especially when you take the pressure off. People get so stressed out about finding the one. I want that too, but it\u2019s just not that serious. Whether some man finds me hot, texts me back, wants to marry me\u2026 I mean, who cares?<\/p>\n
6 p.m. Leaving work. Text Mr. Darcy a video describing my day for him to wake up to. I might be insane for giving this man the time of day beyond sex, but maybe not. He\u2019ll be in town in two weeks, and I can\u2019t wait to see where our chemistry goes.<\/p>\n
7 p.m. My couple texts asking if I\u2019m around next week. I tell them I\u2019d love to see them. I typically see Finn on the weekends, and I know they\u2019ll get me to bed at a reasonable hour during the workweek.<\/p>\n
10 p.m. Fall asleep watching Modern Family.<\/p>\n
DAY SIX\u00a0<\/p>\n
9 a.m.\u00a0 Wake up with a little sore throat. All my deep-throat queens know the struggle, but my OCD tells me it could be an STI. My brain likes to obsess over worst-case scenarios. I set a timer for two minutes and let myself compulsively Google STI symptoms until it goes off.<\/p>\n
12 p.m. I\u2019m able to work without obsessing, but I schedule an STI panel for this evening anyway. I figure it\u2019s the responsible thing to do, though I know that\u2019s just an excuse to give in to a compulsion. Two things can be true.<\/p>\n
2 p.m. Mr. Darcy and I exchange videos about our days, and it turns spicy. I tell him I\u2019m almost all the way through my archive of sexy pictures and videos of myself, and he says we can make more together. This man better be able to put his money where his mouth is when we meet for the first time come February.<\/p>\n
7 p.m. Clean bill of health. I knew it, but if I\u2019m going to be out in these streets, I want to be safe.<\/p>\n
8 p.m. Make some new content for the archive. I love taking spicy pics. One of the best parts of my journey to Eat, Pray, Love across New York City has been how much more confident it\u2019s made me.<\/p>\n
9 p.m. I want to send pics to Tara, but she has the flu. I think literally everyone alive is sick right now. Thinking about the threesome we had with Finn turns me on even more, but I opt for \u201chope you\u2019re feeling better!\u201d To be an adult is to consider someone\u2019s humanity despite being massively horny.<\/p>\n
DAY SEVEN<\/p>\n
9 a.m. A few of my roster folks texted after I went to bed, about plans for this weekend. I need to decide who I slot in and who I can push to next week, but that requires coffee.<\/p>\n
10 a.m. What they don\u2019t tell you about good, non-monogamous sex is how much coordination it requires.<\/p>\n
1 p.m. By the time I leave for the gym, everyone\u2019s gotten back to me and my dates have been set. I love coordinating with women because they can actually plan things in advance. Men love to \u201cplay things by ear\u201d, but I\u2019m a busy girl, and that doesn\u2019t really work for me. Pro tip fellas: you\u2019d get laid so much more often if you could manage to think ahead.<\/p>\n
2 p.m. The gym is packed. None of my gym crushes are here and my playlist has gotten old. I\u2019m in a workout slump.<\/p>\n
4:30 p.m. Order groceries and plan to meal-prep for the week. (I say this every week and it usually doesn\u2019t happen.) Chicken and veggie bowls for lunch and tacos for dinner. I\u2019m on a mission to eat more vegetables, but it can be hard to do when you\u2019re reheating lunch in a microwave.<\/p>\n
11 p.m. Reading Empire of Pain, trying not to fall asleep. I\u2019m so busy these days that I treasure the nights I spend alone. This phase of sexual exploration won\u2019t last forever, so I\u2019m trying to enjoy it without wondering what\u2019s next.<\/p>\n
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\n See All<\/p>\n <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Illustration: Marylu Herrera Before we get to this week\u2019s column, some news: Sex Diaries is becoming a book!…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":459061,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[20068,49,48,75,187881,5584,9748,20067,187880],"class_list":["post-459060","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-entertainment","tag-adult-content","tag-ca","tag-canada","tag-entertainment","tag-non-monogamy","tag-self","tag-sex","tag-sex-diaries","tag-threesomes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/459060","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=459060"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/459060\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/459061"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=459060"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=459060"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=459060"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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