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<\/a><\/p>\nBig Ruckus celebrates his main event win Redneck Brawl<\/p>\n
It\u2019s dangerous to jump to conclusions when trying to get background information about the amateur fighters that populate every Redneck Brawl. But\u2026 A GoFundMe was created in October<\/a> for someone with Big Ruckus\u2019s name, age, and a strikingly similar appearance, seeking financial help after \u201ca grave heart attack\u201d less than six months ago left the patient \u201cwith severe heart failure\u201d and \u201conly 20% heart function\u201d as recently as late October.<\/p>\n If it\u2019s the same guy, Big Ruckus must have connected with Evander Holyfield\u2019s cardiologist and\/or pastor<\/a>, because he looked sharper, stronger, and fresher from beginning to end. He knocked out middle school teacher and coach Junkyard Dog in the 2nd round to earn a champion\u2019s crown and a $500 victor\u2019s purse.<\/p>\n It was a game effort from Junkyard Dog, and we wish him the best of luck trying to convince a school full of cruel, judgmental tweens that they should respect his performance.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s a rundown of the other highlights and lowlights of the evening\u2019s action:<\/p>\n Fordy becomes the first non-American Brawl winner Redneck Brawl<\/p>\n Tonight marked the first ever international skirmishes in Redneck Brawl history, with a pair of Canadian fighters crossing international waters (the Great Lakes count!) to challenge America\u2019s bravest rural and rural-curious gladiators.<\/p>\n In the chief support, Vanilla Gorilla fought through a busted nose (more on that later) to defeat Hook Hogan, while former provincial hockey player Fordy claimed a hotly debated decision victory over Indiana Lumberjack earlier on the card.<\/p>\n In stereotypically polite Canadian fashion, both winners showed exceptional sportsmanship before and after, and both of the vanquished Brawl veterans gave respect and no objection after fights they had arguments to take themselves. A proud triumph for these Canadian cross-border amateur boxing pioneers, and a noble, if unsuccessful, effort from a pair of proven American Brawlers.<\/p>\n Redneck Brawl legend Lil Smokey didn\u2019t expect tonight\u2019s crown Redneck Brawl<\/p>\n Canada earns overall bragging rights at the national level, but it was otherwise a good night for Ohio fighters in general, and a great night for Kentucky. Most of that comes down to one family tree, as twin brothers Lil\u2019s Smokey and Fire and their cousin, Big Daddy T, all won their fights on tonight\u2019s show.<\/p>\n Fire\u2019s opponent, Baby Daddy, separated his shoulder very early in the first round and could not continue. No photo included, but it was clearly, grotesquely out of socket. If you believe Baby Daddy\u2019s claims of \u201cfour children by six baby mamas,\u201d he can obviously throw hip\u2026 His shoulder just couldn\u2019t hold up to throwing punches.<\/p>\n Big Daddy T ran wild on experienced wrestler but first-time Brawler Walking Tank, who hung tough through a lot of punishment to survive to a decision loss that honestly could have been a stoppage at multiple points.<\/p>\n And the last member of the family to step in the ring, Lil Smokey, thought he\u2019d lost the fight to Jesse James, only to be pleasantly surprised to hear himself announced victorious. It\u2019s either the 8th or 9th Redneck Brawl win for Lil\u2019 Smokey, who left his latest crown at ringside with the commentary team because he wasn\u2019t satisfied with his performance.<\/p>\n Dak Attack suffers the first of several leaky noses on the night Redneck Brawl<\/p>\n Tonight\u2019s Brawl was an Otorhinolaryngologist\u2019s wet dream and a hemophobic\u2019s screaming nightmare, as several fighters suffered significant nose injuries, more than one of which required mid-fight attention from ringside doctors. Dak Attack was the first to bust a facial pipe, powering through a significant bloodletting to what would become a decision loss to Psycho Sky.<\/p>\n Vanilla Gorilla showing the telltale signs of a broken nose Redneck Brawl<\/p>\n The worst came in the chief support, where Hook Hogan and Vanilla Gorilla were both checked for vision issues related to bloody and likely broken noses. Gorilla\u2019s evaluating doctor forced him to blow his broken nose at least twice, leading to immediate, significant swelling that he fought through to claim the decision victory. Take a second look at the photo immediately above, and stop to consider that Vanilla Gorilla entered the ring with very light blond hair.<\/p>\n Certified Crack Baby arrives with an all-timer of a nickname Redneck Brawl<\/p>\n WINNER(s): The Only Two Women on the Card<\/p>\n Redneck Brawl is usually a heavily co-ed affair, but tonight\u2019s only matchup of female fighters saw first ballot nickname hall-of-famer Certified Crack Baby take on Chucky roughly halfway through the lineup.<\/p>\n They put on a banger of a fight, coming out of the gate hot and giving us what would be passionately, emphatically nominated for Round of the Year if I were an awards committee member of the Boxing Writers Association of America. The fight also blessed us with commentary encouraging a fighter by saying: \u201cC\u2019mon Crack Baby! Don\u2019t give up!!\u201d \u2014 A sentence I never expected to hear in my lifetime, and one I will never forget.<\/p>\n Chucky gets a crown and a smooch from an enthusiastic ring girl Redneck Brawl<\/p>\n Certified Crack Baby listened, and did not give up. But, she didn\u2019t take victory, with Chucky earning the decision and a combination kiss and lap dance from one of the ring card girls. Both of these fighters need to return for future Brawls, and the people deserve a Chucky vs Sheen Green or Chucky vs Buckshot matchup next time around.<\/p>\n It wouldn\u2019t be an Ohio Brawl without multiple crowd fights! Redneck Brawl<\/p>\n WINNER: Ohio\u2019s Reputation for Crowd Mayhem<\/p>\n Redneck Brawl\u2019s past trips to Cincinnati have set an expectation for unrestrained crowd violence in Ohio. Things tend to get buck wild in the Buckeye state, where commentator Big Murph once got into it with the audience after someone threw a drink on his wife. Not even an aggressive police presence at the most recent Cincinnati show was enough to keep the crowd from breaking out into multiple borderline riots.<\/p>\n It took most of the night for Toledo to boil over, but we did eventually get two major crowd fights, with perhaps another minor skirmish or two. Not quite the bring-your-own-body-armor insanity of Cincy\u2019s prison riot aesthetic\u2026 But, a lively night of bonus brawling all the same. Never change, Ohio.<\/p>\n Big A kept getting knocked down, but he got up again (and again) Redneck Brawl<\/p>\n When covering professional boxing shows, our oft-stated position at Bad Left Hook is that anyone who thinks they shouldn\u2019t keep fighting is never wrong. Still, without naming or shaming, it did seem like at least a few Brawlers were surprisingly quick to make that decision for themselves this evening.<\/p>\n Big A was not among them. A last minute lineup change found him facing Chevy Tailgate Terror, who came to the ring with an official 8\u201d height advantage that looked even more significant to my eyes.<\/p>\n The internet commentariat were tough on Big A before he ever got to town, calling him: \u201cTemu Butterbean,\u201d \u201cCurly from the Three Stooges,\u201d \u201cBobby Hill after huffing too much propane,\u201d and \u201cHillbilly Patton Oswalt.\u201d Chevy Tailgate Terror wasn\u2019t much kinder once the first bell rang, using his power and reach to batter Big A all over the ring.<\/p>\n But, even on a night where the commentators pointed out that \u201cwe\u2019ve all got jobs to go to on Monday\u201d to explain why some fighters were withdrawing early, Big A would not give up. He kept getting up, again and again.<\/p>\n In the end, someone did keep Big A down Redneck Brawl<\/p>\n \u2026until he physically could not anymore. Big A didn\u2019t quite make it to the final bell, finally getting laid out for good in the 3rd round. And when he went out, he went out hard, staying on the canvas for several minutes, and needing a lot of help to stand up, exit, and walk back to the dressing room.<\/p>\n Still, salute to Big A, who gave it everything he had, and kept fighting until there was absolutely no more fight left.<\/p>\n Rebel Kenny curls up under the ropes Redneck Brawl<\/p>\n WORST UNORTHODOX DEFENSE: Rebel Kenny<\/p>\n I was cautiously optimistic about Rebel Kenny after seeing a promo video where he said: \u201cI might got four brain cells and three teeth, but I got two hands to beat yo\u2019 motherf\u2014in\u2019 ass with!\u201d<\/p>\n Unfortunately, everything after was a series of questionable decisions. At the weigh-in, Rebel Kenny pulled out a Ziploc bag of cornbread and threw some at his opponent, Cornbread (naturally). Bad decision, and one that led an observer on-site to say: \u201cSomebody grab a vacuum. That\u2019s how you get ants.\u201d<\/p>\n Then, Kenny entered the ring in a pair of cutoff jeans that Catherine Bach, Jessica Simpson, and Thomas Lennon would all reject as too revealing. It was a bad decision made worse by his propensity to raise a knee to his chest as part of his defensive strategy.<\/p>\n Rebel Kenny shows off the emu-flamingo hybrid defense Redneck Brawl<\/p>\n Kenny kept raising his leg like a Kilgore Rangerette, prompting one of the announcing team to say \u201cI seen his testicles,\u201d which our own live coverage commenters pointed out is not something you\u2019ll ever hear on DAZN.<\/p>\n Rebel Kenny ultimately lost by 2nd round TKO, earning Cornbread one of a limited number of Michigan victories. Which he celebrated by grabbing the interview mic and screaming \u201cF–K YOU OHIO!!! SUCK MY D–K!!!!\u201d<\/p>\n So, one guy showed his balls, and then the other guy showed his ass. Still, a pretty fun fight, despite all the poor choices made.<\/p>\n Trap doesn\u2019t have a gymnast\u2019s physique, but he\u2019s got skills Redneck Brawl<\/p>\n BEST UNORTHODOX DEFENSE: Trap<\/p>\n Trap didn\u2019t impress the internet wise guys when he tore off his shirt in a promo video, leading people to call him \u201cthe black Kool-Aid Man,\u201d \u201cCaptain C-cups,\u201d and worse. Others suggested he needs a \u201cRedneck bra,\u201d and said \u201cdude has a body like Grimace.\u201d<\/p>\n But those jokesters didn\u2019t see a different hype video, where Trap did a legit handspring into a backflip. What anyone watching did see on fight night, though, was Trap execute a limbo backbend worthy of Keanu Reeves in The Matrix.<\/p>\n Trap folds himself in half backwards to successfully dodge a punch Redneck Brawl<\/p>\n On more than one occasion, Trap evaded punches by bending backwards at angles that made my own spine scream in horror, ultimately winning a champion\u2019s crown by well-earned decision.<\/p>\n Someone get that man a heating pad and an evaluation for Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. And, maybe, a fresh shirt.<\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n