{"id":478181,"date":"2026-02-16T08:45:08","date_gmt":"2026-02-16T08:45:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/478181\/"},"modified":"2026-02-16T08:45:08","modified_gmt":"2026-02-16T08:45:08","slug":"john-oliver-recaps-trump-olympics-more-news","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/478181\/","title":{"rendered":"John Oliver Recaps Trump, Olympics, More News"},"content":{"rendered":"

\n\tLast Week Tonight<\/a> returned with its 13th-season premiere on Sunday night after three months off the air, and host John Oliver quickly acknowledged the multiple news events that happened during that time.<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cWe\u2019ve been off for the last three months, and we have missed a lot, and I mean a lot, a lot,\u201d he told viewers at the start of his late-night HBO<\/a> show.<\/p>\n

\n\tIn five minutes, he quickly recapped all the headlines that happened since the season finale in November. Below, read his recap:<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cTrump was awarded the first ever FIFA Peace Prize just weeks before kidnapping the president of Venezuela. The latest batch of Epstein files got released. Measles numbers exploded across multiple states, which I know seems bad, but to be fair \u2014 not if you\u2019re the measles.<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cTrump repeatedly threatened to take over Greenland, or as he now seems to refer to it about half the time, Iceland. The Beckham family went through some shit, and Trump said this while promoting whole milk in the Oval Office,\u201d Oliver continued, showing a clip of Trump noting that the spelling of \u201cwhole\u201d starts with a \u201cw.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cI mean, I guess he\u2019s right there, it is actually whole milk with a \u2018w,\u2019 not hole milk, which I know sounds like nonsense, but it\u2019s actually the official beverage of the absolutely real new Netflix show Detective Hole starring, and this is true, detective Harry Hole. Apparently it\u2019s based on a Norwegian series of novels and it\u2019s supposed to be pronounced Hu-la, but respectfully, nah, Norway, it\u2019s pronounced hole.<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cThat was just the beginning: Zohran Mamdani was sworn in as New York mayor. Eric Adams launched a meme coin that he said would, among other things, fight antisemitism, and OK. And the Department of the Interior announced a new coal mascot called Coalie, which really felt like an attempt to bait us [the show] into coming back early. It wasn\u2019t even the only time that we were tempted to do that because there was also the headline \u2018Beloved walrus penis stolen from New Jersey cheesesteak icon. Owner is blubbering mad.\u2019 You don\u2019t think if we\u2019d been on-air back then, we\u2019d have tracked down that walrus penis and donated the proceeds to Doctors Without Borders or something? Are you new here?<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cOh, and at Miss Universe, one contestant did this,\u201d he continued, showing video of Miss Norway, Leonora Lysglimt-R\u00f8dland, wearing a gown that looked like a salmon. \u201cThat happened. Miss Norway wore this as a costume. And I guess to be fair, it does sum up Norway nicely in an image. I mean, what else was she gonna dress up as? Detective Harry Hole?<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cI\u2019m still not done because the Winter Olympics got underway, and there\u2019s already been lots of incredible action, as well as some personal drama like this,\u201d Oliver noted, showing video of Norwegian biathlete Sturla Holm L\u00e6greid, who made headlines for admitting that he cheated on his girlfriend after accepting winning gold.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cWow,\u201d said Oliver. \u201cThat is usually not the kind of declaration of love you see in public, it is why stadium jumbotrons generally say things like, \u2018Will you marry me?\u2019 and not \u2018Sorry I fucked your sister, are we cool?\u2019<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cThe point is, that guy won a bronze medal, then immediately begged for his ex-girlfriend of six months to forgive him and seemed optimistic that it might work. \u2026 There is definitely not [a happy ending for the athlete] because she\u2019s since put out a statement declining to reunite and saying, \u2018We have had contact and he is aware of my opinions on this\u2019 \u2014\u00a0a response that could only be more brutal if she delivered it after winning silver in his event.<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cAnd if you\u2019re thinking, wow, the biathlon is surprisingly messy, you clearly know nothing about the biathlon, because it\u2019s not even this guy\u2019s first time causing trouble. In 2023, he was banned from the biathlon World Cup after accidentally, and this is true, shooting his gun in the team\u2019s hotel.<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cMeanwhile, in the women\u2019s competition this year, Julia Simon competed for France despite the fact that last October, a French court gave her a three-month suspended jail sentence after she admitted to stealing the credit cards of her teammate and an unnamed French staffer and making $2,300 in online purchases. She apparently said, \u2018I can\u2019t explain this. I don\u2019t remember doing it. I can\u2019t make sense of it. And I don\u2019t know how this story could get any juicier unless she turns out to be the woman that that guy cheated on his girlfriend.<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cBecause at that point, someone please call Andy Cohen, we have a new hit Bravo series on our hands,\u201d Oliver added, showing a mockup title card for a show he jokingly dubbed The Real Biathletes of Milan.<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cBy the way, Simon competed at the Olympics this week and guess what, she fucking won gold. The French credit card thief won gold and you think I don\u2019t wanna talk about the chaotic energy of Olympic biathletes for the rest of this show?\u201d he joked.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Last Week Tonight returned with its 13th-season premiere on Sunday night after three months off the air, and…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":478182,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[29],"tags":[49,48,75,5862,77,193806,11590,11591,348],"class_list":{"0":"post-478181","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-tv","8":"tag-ca","9":"tag-canada","10":"tag-entertainment","11":"tag-hbo","12":"tag-international","13":"tag-john-oliiver","14":"tag-last-week-tonight","15":"tag-last-week-tonight-with-john-oliver","16":"tag-tv"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/478181","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=478181"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/478181\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/478182"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=478181"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=478181"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=478181"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}