1. Their balls fly everywhere.<\/p>\n
I took my eight-year-old daughter for some one-on-one time on the tennis courts. She didn\u2019t have much experience, but she\u2019s athletic, has good hand-eye coordination, and had even taken a few lessons in the past. How hard could it be? I thought.<\/p>\n
I bounced the ball and gently hit it over to her. She flung her arm, the racket spinning in a full 360, and the ball whizzed right past her.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo problem,\u201d I said. \u201cLet\u2019s try again\u2014nice and easy.\u201d<\/p>\n
This time she made contact, but the ball made a beeline for the far right side of the court. We could barely get a single volley going. I was grateful when she made contact with the ball. But, there I was, racing side to side, chasing her wild fly balls, doing my best to return them so they\u2019d land perfectly in front of her\u2014so she\u2019d actually have a chance to hit them.<\/p>\n
I got a great workout, but we definitely didn\u2019t play tennis that morning.<\/p>\n
And that, in a nutshell, is parenting.<\/p>\n
No matter how they behave, your job is to stay calm and centered.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s it. That\u2019s the advice that\u2019s more important than what any book will tell you.<\/p>\n
Actually doing it takes a lifetime.<\/p>\n
While you\u2019re running around trying to return their wild shots, your responsibility is to stay regulated and place the ball gently where they can return it. Children have big, uncontrolled reactions\u2014their emotions fly everywhere. You still have to remain centered and respond in an even-keeled way.<\/p>\n
This isn\u2019t just good advice; it\u2019s science.<\/p>\n
We have something called mirror neurons. When I move my arm, a specific neuron lights up in my brain. Here\u2019s the fascinating part: when you watch me move my arm, that same neuron lights up in your brain. In other words, we learn behavior simply by observing it.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s why when children watch Instagram reels or TikToks of kids doing ridiculous dances or acting rudely, they immediately try it out on you. They are absorbing behavior constantly\u2014often without saying a word.<\/p>\n
Our actions teach far more than our lectures ever will.<\/p>\n
Ralph Waldo Emerson captured this perfectly: \u201cYour actions are so loud, I can\u2019t hear what you\u2019re saying.\u201d<\/p>\n
If I scream, they scream.<\/p>\n
If I hit, they hit.<\/p>\n
Stay calm\u2014and keep yourself, and the tennis balls, centered.<\/p>\n
2. \u201cI\u2019m so bad.\u201d<\/p>\n
As we played, my daughter kept repeating, \u201cI\u2019m so bad,\u201d every time she missed a ball or sent it flying. I kept reminding her how great she actually is\u2014she just needs time and technique.<\/p>\n
No child\u2014and no parent\u2014is bad.<\/p>\n
Children need to be taught manners and middot. Parenting itself is a skill, and skills can be learned. A child isn\u2019t lazy, stupid, or annoying. They may do lazy things or behave in annoying ways, but that is not who they are.<\/p>\n
Be careful what you call them, you are imprinting that word onto their soul. If you label a child, they often grow into that label\u2014for better or worse.<\/p>\n
Use positive, encouraging language. Teach step by step. Speak to their essence, not their struggle.<\/p>\n
3. Don\u2019t attack or hover the ball.<\/p>\n
As I sent smooth, clean balls over the net, I noticed my daughter would rush right up to the ball, leaving herself no room to swing. The racquet caught the ball too late and it didn’t have enough power to get over the net.<\/p>\n
\u201cSlow down,\u201d I told her. \u201cGive yourself space. Then find the ball and make contact.\u201d<\/p>\n
Suddenly, the ball went over the net.<\/p>\n
The same is true in parenting. Don\u2019t hover. Don\u2019t helicopter.<\/p>\n
If you try a little less intensity and give a drop more space, things land much better.<\/p>\n
Our instinct is to protect\u2014to fix, rescue, and prevent failure. But falling and failing are often blessings in disguise. That’s where children discover grit and persistence, strengths they have to learn that on their own.<\/p>\n
4. The Back-and-Forth Is Part of the Game<\/p>\n
Moms often joke that they feel like an Uber driver\u2014back and forth, back and forth\u2014all day long.<\/p>\n
This is a stage and it will pass.<\/p>\n
While your presence is important, you don\u2019t have to overbook your children. It\u2019s okay to say no. It\u2019s okay to take a season off from after-school activities.<\/p>\n
Find your balance, create boundaries and stick to them. Yes, some back-and-forth is part of modern parenting, but it doesn\u2019t have to run you.<\/p>\n
5. Balls Flying from Every Direction<\/p>\n
When all the kids are home at once, it can feel like balls flying at you from every direction.<\/p>\n
\u201cMom, can you help me with homework?\u201d
\u201cMom, sign my test!\u201d
\u201cMom, you won\u2019t believe what happened today\u2026\u201d
\u201cMOM! Where\u2019s the shampoo?\u201d
\u201cWhat\u2019s for dinner? I\u2019m starving.\u201d<\/p>\n
You can\u2019t possibly return every shot perfectly, and you don\u2019t have to.<\/p>\n
Some balls you\u2019ll return. Some you\u2019ll let bounce. Sometimes you\u2019ll play doubles\u2014enlisting help from a spouse, older sibling, or even a well-timed \u201cGive me five minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n
You are not failing because you can\u2019t meet every need instantly. You\u2019re human.<\/p>\n
Good parents aren’t the ones who never miss a shot, they’re the ones who keep showing up to play.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"1. Their balls fly everywhere. I took my eight-year-old daughter for some one-on-one time on the tennis courts.…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":491645,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[442],"tags":[49,48,82,593],"class_list":["post-491644","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-tennis","tag-ca","tag-canada","tag-sports","tag-tennis"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/491644","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=491644"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/491644\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/491645"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=491644"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=491644"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=491644"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}