{"id":491678,"date":"2026-02-22T08:34:07","date_gmt":"2026-02-22T08:34:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/491678\/"},"modified":"2026-02-22T08:34:07","modified_gmt":"2026-02-22T08:34:07","slug":"im-worried-my-boyfriends-use-of-ai-is-affecting-his-ability-to-think-for-himself-family","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/491678\/","title":{"rendered":"I\u2019m worried my boyfriend\u2019s use of AI is affecting his ability to think for himself | Family"},"content":{"rendered":"

My boyfriend of eight years, who is 44, has ADHD and runs his own business. He\u2019s always struggled with admin and mundane tasks, but AI has revolutionised how he works. Now I\u2019m worried he can\u2019t seem to do anything without AI. He is a heavy ChatGPT<\/a> user and uses it even when there\u2019s a better non-AI alternative (eg he\u2019ll ask it for train times rather than using Trainline, even though it\u2019s less accurate). He just got his ChatGPT Wrapped and he\u2019s in the top 0.3% of users worldwide. <\/p>\n

I worry about his ability to think independently, as well as the environmental impact. I know it\u2019s a\u00a0useful tool for him at work, but he uses it for everything in life.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m very aware I can come across as quite naggy, and his ADHD can make him obsessive. I\u2019d love some advice on how to approach this with him .<\/p>\n

Running a business can be stressful, and although your boyfriend\u2019s ADHD may be a factor, I wonder if he is anxious anyway and if his use of AI is a\u00a0symptom rather than the cause.<\/p>\n

I took your letter to consultant clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst Dr Stephen Blumenthal and Henry Shelford, CEO of ADHD UK<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Blumenthal wondered if we are \u201con the verge of a new diagnostic category of \u2018chatbot overdependence syndrome\u2019 as we head into an age in which we become increasingly reliant on AI. When used judiciously, AI aids us, but it could have disastrous consequences if we become dependent on it and lose the capacity for ordinary functioning.<\/p>\n

double quotation markAI can take you down a rabbit hole, but it can also support you and help you structure your thoughts, schedule stuff and get things done<\/p>\n

\u201cSomeone with ADHD has a shorter attention span, difficulty focusing and a reduced capacity to plan and think ahead, so AI is a perfect fit, which is why it can be so helpful. The downside is that there is a greater propensity to become overdependent on it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Shelford wondered if your boyfriend was struggling anyway, and if the AI provided a useful \u201cflotation aid\u201d? \u201cAI can take you down a rabbit hole,\u201d he said, \u201cbut it can also support you and help you structure your thoughts, schedule stuff and get things done.\u201d<\/p>\n

Your boyfriend\u2019s use of AI seems to go beyond this. It\u2019s as if he\u2019s doubting himself, and that can be pernicious.<\/p>\n

Blumenthal says: \u201cProblems arise when your use of AI goes beyond satisfying the problem you wish to resolve. It feels as if a relationship with it has started to develop, and you imbue it with human qualities, a\u00a0projection of our own wishes and desires for validation and care.\u201d<\/p>\n

What to do? You\u2019re right not to nag, which rarely solves anything, because it just becomes noise. As with all tender and difficult conversations, pick your moment when you\u2019re both calm.<\/p>\n

Shelford recommended asking your boyfriend, \u201c\u2018What are you getting out of it? Why is this tool such a big deal and what are the gaps it\u2019s filling?\u2019 Then look to see if there are better solutions or better ways to use it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Blumenthal thought: \u201cas with any overdependence syndrome, there first needs to be recognition that there is a\u00a0problem. It\u2019s easy to become critical of the person who\u2019s struggling, but that\u2019s only likely to cause them to withdraw further into dependency. The case must be made compassionately, recognising that being without the scaffold of ChatGPT probably feels like a threat.\u201d<\/p>\n

The good news is that, unlike the generation now growing up with AI, your boyfriend has a track record of functioning well without it. Hopefully he can be reminded of that and find a\u00a0place where AI augments the abilities he already has. But it sounds as if he\u2019s anxious and I think the cause has to be found so you can both move forward.<\/p>\n

Every week, Annalisa Barbieri addresses a personal problem sent in by a reader. If you would like advice from Annalisa, please send your problem to ask.annalisa@theguardian.com<\/a>. Annalisa regrets she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions<\/a>. The latest series of Annalisa\u2019s podcast is available here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Comments on this piece are pre-moderated to ensure the discussion remains on the topics raised by the article. Please be aware that there may be a short delay in comments appearing on the site.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"My boyfriend of eight years, who is 44, has ADHD and runs his own business. He\u2019s always struggled…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":491679,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[62,276,277,49,48,61],"class_list":{"0":"post-491678","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-artificial-intelligence","8":"tag-ai","9":"tag-artificial-intelligence","10":"tag-artificialintelligence","11":"tag-ca","12":"tag-canada","13":"tag-technology"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/491678","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=491678"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/491678\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/491679"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=491678"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=491678"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=491678"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}