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So many people think there\u2019s a dollar figure that will finally alleviate their financial anxiety. If you can just hustle, control, sacrifice, a little longer until you finally reach that milestone \u2013 then, you tell yourself, then you\u2019ll finally feel okay, safe, successful, like you can relax.<\/p>\n
There is some truth to that. Certainly, you can experience a lot of relief when you finally get debt-free, stop living pay cheque to pay cheque, or hit a significant savings or investment goal. But those are not the scenarios I\u2019m referring to.<\/p>\n
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If you\u2019re trying to overcome your financial anxiety, start by looking at your behaviours.Simon Letch<\/p>\n
I\u2019m talking about the multiple six-figure earner who is burning himself out to get to that seven-figure net-worth because only then will he will finally feel successful. Or the careful professional with multiple six-figures in investments, who is still avoiding spending on small luxuries out of fear.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m talking about the early-retirement enthusiast who is diligently squirrelling away every extra dollar into investments, counting down the years until they can finally start living their \u2018real\u2019 life. Or those who are financially stable, but are still perpetually postponing their experience of life until a future financial milestone in the name of ambition or responsibility.<\/p>\n
However, what I\u2019ve seen in working with my clients, is that while that future milestone may arrive, the experience of life that you thought would come with it, often doesn\u2019t. Here\u2019s why:<\/p>\n
You create your feelings, not your money<\/p>\n
Money does not create feelings. It can\u2019t reach into your brain and push the \u201chappy\u201d or \u201csad\u201d button. Your feelings are internally generated by you. Yes, you respond to your external stimulus emotionally, but still \u2013 you are the one generating the experience.<\/p>\n
If you really want to change your experience of money \u2013 you have to break some emotional habits.<\/p>\n
This distinction is subtle but important. It means you have some power in changing how you feel. It means you don\u2019t have to wait until some future milestone to feel how you want to feel.<\/p>\n
You don\u2019t have to wait until you hit a specific net-worth, or salary, or revenue in your business, to feel successful. You don\u2019t have to wait until you pay off your mortgage, hit your \u2018early-retirement\u2019 number, or reach a specific savings goal, to feel secure. You can choose to start feeling that now.<\/p>\n
Editor’s pick If your knee-jerk reaction is \u201cbut how can I feel that way, without the circumstances to justify it?\u201d Remember \u2013 you are responsible for your feelings. You don\u2019t need any permission or circumstance to start feeling the way you want to feel, right now.<\/p>\n Is this easier said than done? Yes. Not because it\u2019s not possible \u2013 but because you already have a practiced response to your financial situation, which takes time to unlearn and rewire.<\/p>\n But this is the key to changing your experience of money. In fact, I would argue this is the only way to start changing your experience of money, because\u2026<\/p>\n Your practiced response to money becomes habitual<\/p>\n The \u2018rat race\u2019 isn\u2019t just financial \u2013 it\u2019s also psychological and emotional. This is the reason so many high-achievers stay stuck in a mode of \u2018striving but never arriving\u2019.<\/p>\n Your emotional experience, repeated over time, becomes habitual. If your practiced response to your financial situation is dissatisfaction, then that is the emotional habit you will have created.<\/p>\n Even when your financial situation changes, even when you finally hit that big goal of yours, it won\u2019t take long before you return to your baseline emotional state.<\/p>\n This is why many people have the experience of achieving some progress \u2013 an increase in salary, a bonus, achieving a specific milestone, paying off the mortgage \u2013 but quickly, their emotional experience does not feel significantly different to before.<\/p>\n If they were stressed about the debt before, they are now stressed about achieving a savings goal. If they were anxious or dissatisfied before the promotion, it\u2019s not long before they feel that way again and are eyeing another pay-increase.<\/p>\n Editor’s pick In fact, you might even unconsciously re-create the old situation because that feels familiar and safe. You see this in lottery winners who, within a few years, end up back in the same situation they were in before. Struggle and lack feel familiar, abundance does not.<\/p>\n So, if you really want to change your experience of money \u2013 you have to break some emotional habits. You have to change your practiced emotional responses to your financial situation.<\/p>\n This is the work most people avoid. It is easier to continue chasing the next number, and telling yourself that \u2018when\u2019 you get there, then you will finally feel (insert feeling).<\/p>\n Because as long as that milestone is in the future, you can avoid the real question: why do you need a specific number to justify how you want to feel \u2013 instead of choosing to feel that now?<\/p>\n Paridhi Jain is founder of SkilledSmart<\/a>, which helps adults learn to manage, save and invest money through financial education courses and classes.<\/p>\n Advice given in this article is general in nature and not intended to influence readers\u2019 decisions about investing or financial products. They should always seek their own professional advice that takes into account their own personal circumstances before making any financial decisions.<\/p>\n Expert tips on how to save, invest and make the most of your money delivered to your inbox every Sunday. Sign up for our Real Money newsletter<\/a>.<\/p>\n Save<\/p>\n You have reached your maximum number of saved items.<\/p>\n Remove items from your saved list<\/a> to add more.<\/p>\n![\"If](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/2b3b11572fd6e8668e8a7a7242a5cde176208d52.jpeg\")
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