Monday<\/p>\n
I was going to start with the Middle East, but let\u2019s give ourselves a break and, instead, do the final of Crufts<\/a> from last night. Crufts! As soothing as the Olympics but with lower stakes and cuter contestants. When I was in my first year of high school, my best friend and I used to \u201cplay Crufts\u201d \u2013 look, it was a different time; at least we weren\u2019t pretending to be on horseback \u2013 which entailed someone being the presenter and someone the dog lady, and when the presenter shrilled, \u201cand it\u2019s the Westie! The Westie has won Crufts 1990!\u201d the dog lady had to take off around the living room, leash held high while the crowd went wild.<\/p>\n I hadn\u2019t really watched Crufts since then, but on Sunday night I had it on in the background and we all got sucked in. My kids had never seen a dog show before, let alone the GREATEST DOG SHOW ON EARTH, and what a moment it was for them, being put through their paces with the invitation to say things like, \u201coh, look, a pomeranian\u201d, and ask the question all new initiates to the dog show must ask: \u201cWhy is that man running like that?\u201d Because, my darlings, it\u2019s Crufts; they all run like that.<\/p>\n By the way, for years after we grew up, my mother and I would still, when triggered, exclaim, \u201cand it\u2019s the Westie!\u201d to each other; that is the enduring power of Crufts and I couldn\u2019t be happier to have found my way home. The championship title this year went to that right big fluffy one that the crowd loved and we loved him, too, and when the presenter boomed, \u201cand it\u2019s the clumber spaniel<\/a>! The clumber spaniel has won Crufts 2026!\u201d we shrieked with joy. What a time to be alive.<\/p>\n Tuesday<\/p>\n Hat tip to Krishnan Guru-Murthy for his reference on Tuesday night to Iran\u2019s new \u201cnepo-ayatollah\u201d<\/a>, not a bad joke for the news and eked from extremely unpromising material. While the carnage grinds on and the war footage piles up, so too does that other staple of television news during any sudden conflict in a country where Brits go on package holidays: shots of hapless tourists, yanked back from the beach by the intrusion of geopolitics into their week in the sun, and jumped on by cameras at arrivals.<\/p>\n Here we are at Luton airport, where TV reporters capture a stream of returnees dragging their wheelie suitcases across the concourse and looking startled to report the sight of rockets flying over their hotels. Not only were these poor Brits caught up in a war, but they returned home to the sudden sea change in public opinion towards people who travel to or live in that part of the world.<\/p>\n Once a high-end-seeming destination of choice, now here\u2019s Ed Davey in the Commons referring to expats living in Dubai<\/a> as \u201cwashed-up old footballers and tax exiles\u201d. And the average punters haven\u2019t entirely escaped, either; there is a lot of chat going around about the gormlessness of holidaymakers who travel to Dubai on the assumption it\u2019s exactly like Greece or Spain, except cheaper. Turns out \u2013 who knew? \u2013 it was actually in the volatile Middle East the whole time!<\/p>\n \u2018We\u2019re just going to pretend she\u2019s doing it right, yeah?\u2019 Photograph: Carl Court\/Getty ImagesWednesday<\/p>\n Oh, Chalamet; now what have you done? In a recent event with Matthew McConaughey he made the remark that ballet and opera are niche interests that \u201cno one cares about any more\u201d, adding that get-out-of-jail-free afterthought that always works when you\u2019ve said something insulting: \u201cAll respect to all the ballet and opera people out there.\u201d<\/p>\n The response has been more enjoyable than Marty Supreme<\/a> and, thanks to the young people in charge of the US\u2019s largest cultural institutions\u2019 social media feeds, it just keeps going. At the Metropolitan Opera in New York, a video uploaded<\/a> to Instagram showed off the efforts of hundreds of people backstage before a major production, while the words \u201call respect to the opera (and ballet) people out there\u201d flashed across the screen. It racked up almost half a million likes and 6.5m views, while in the comments, up popped the Guggenheim, the Brooklyn Museum and one of the stars of Operation Mincemeat on Broadway.<\/p>\n Meanwhile, over at the Seattle Opera, this post on social media: \u201cAll we\u2019ve got to say is \u2026 use promo code TIMOTHEE to save 14% off select seats for Carmen.\u201d My favourite pushback, however, was from Afonso Coelho, a dancer with the Royal Danish Ballet<\/a>, who posted a 30-second clip of himself doing the most beautiful, mind-blowing ballet, like a representative from a superior branch of humankind. \u201cYour turn,\u201d he wrote, to Chalamet.<\/p>\n Thursday<\/p>\n New updates in the Carolyn Bessette\/JFK Jr discourse in the form of an angry diatribe<\/a> published in the New York Times by the actor Daryl Hannah, who is depicted in the first half of the Hulu series as JFK Jr\u2019s girlfriend before he met Bessette, and to call the role unflattering would be an understatement. In the show, which has been causing uproar in the US, mostly for good reasons \u2013 the fashion, the 90s innocence \u2013 Hannah is portrayed as a grasping coke addict who Jackie O can\u2019t stand.<\/p>\n \u201cThe actions and behaviours attributed to me are untrue,\u201d writes Hannah. \u201cI have never used cocaine in my life or hosted cocaine-fuelled parties. I have never pressured anyone into marriage. I have never desecrated any family heirloom or intruded upon anyone\u2019s private memorial. I have never planted any story in the press. I never compared Jacqueline Onassis\u2019 death to a dog\u2019s.\u201d<\/p>\n Friday<\/p>\n Rigorous Oscars prep in the form of a thorough snack audit \u2013 reminder to get in more Jaffa Cakes before the ceremony on Sunday \u2013 and a last-minute effort to catch up on the films I haven\u2019t seen, including Hamnet and Train Dreams<\/a> (although, shamefully, I\u2019m more in the mood for F1). Everyone, meanwhile, should watch every movie in the documentary category, but especially The Alabama Solution<\/a> and The Perfect Neighbour<\/a>, and spend the weekend kidding themselves, as I will, that they\u2019ll stay up long enough to see even the first five minutes of the opening monologue. Happy Oscars!<\/p>\n \u2018Stand back, I\u2019m a commoner!\u2019 Photograph: Kin Cheung\/AP