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Dating in Vancouver<\/a> can feel brutal, especially if you’re a guy who’s genuinely trying and still not getting very far. Between the flakes on apps, the city’s socially guarded personality, and the fact that women somehow keep falling for f**kboys, it’s easy to feel like the nice guy really does finish last.<\/p>\n So, as a Vancouver girl<\/a> with a lot of single female friends \u2014 and a long history of ghostwriting my boys’ Tinder texts \u2014 here’s my advice.<\/p>\n Save the seawall day date for down the line<\/p>\n www.instagram.com<\/a><\/p>\n Unless she’s the seawall’s biggest fan, the seawall is so busy and there’s nothing that’s cringier than trying to get to know someone (which requires a certain level of intimacy) in an extremely public place, where people are racing by you in blue spandex and Oakley shades. Sexy? For absolutely no one.<\/p>\n Still, I am a big fan of the coffee date, especially if you’re dating after 30, so here are a few ideas…<\/p>\n Not-so-hot spots: You can go to Liberty Bakery + Cafe on Main St. (or Coco and Olive) and then do a residential walk west toward Cambie St. Lots of beautiful tree-lined streets. Queen Elizabeth Park isn’t too far either.<\/p>\n In Strathcona, again, another low-key residential walk, has two perfect neighbourhood coffee shops. I love Finch’s and Wilder Snail. In Gastown, you can hit DiBeppe<\/a> (famously my favourite coffee in Van), make your way to Water St, and head West until you hit the low-key part of the seawall in Coal Harbour that goes towards Stanley Park \u2014 if you MUST scratch the seawall itch.<\/p>\n I hope this goes without saying: NO Pacific Spirit Park! It’s giving MURDER.<\/p>\n A few first date ideas \u2014 if you’re awkward as hell<\/p>\n www.instagram.com<\/a><\/p>\n Not a movie. Never a movie. Movies are, in fact, the WOAT because you waste 2.5 hours not talking. That’s some 8th date sh*t.<\/p>\n The advice: Consider going to an interactive bar. I know. I’m cringing as I type this, but I am doing it for the greater good. Sometimes talking over a dinner table with a total stranger while the waiter pours water for the 5th time sucks!<\/p>\n GRETA (the games bar in Gastown) is a good date spot for this reason<\/a>. You can spend $50 on tokens, showing her how mid at basketball you are! It can cut the awkward tension and give y’all something to do with your hands \u2014 but it’s not overly interactive, like an escape room (A.KA. the Pacific Spirit Park of date activities).<\/p>\n Another hot tip: I’m kinda into bringing group-ish dates back?? Bowling at Commodore Lanes? Low-key dumb and fun. Pool at Sneaky Pete’s? Why f**king not. Overwhelming jazz at Guilt and Co? At this point, I’ll try anything.<\/p>\n Let’s just send and go to Blarney Stone for pub quiz night (that’s what it’s called in the UK \ud83d\udc85). Have a few of your friends join. It’s chill. It’s fun. It’s low stakes. She knows you have friends \u2014 always important. Pick her up, drop her off. Keep it simple, and ease into getting to know each other.<\/p>\n Ditch the apps, dude<\/p>\n This may seem counterintuitive, but hear me out: Vancouver is an unusually anti-social city, so being asked out in real life? Women are obsessed with it. They feel chosen.<\/p>\n Dating apps suck, and not even for the obvious reasons. Yeah, the constant swiping is lame. The conversations end before they begin. But honestly, I don’t do them because they fail in the only category that matters: chemistry.<\/p>\n Because no matter how many of our FB chat flirations circa who was online at 3 a.m. in 2012 that Mark Zuckerberg has personally gone through \u2013 these billionaire technies can’t crack the code. The prompts, the bios, the “woman messages first”, none of it matters cause chemistry cannot be built over the internet.<\/p>\n Why? Cause think we know what we like, but we actually don’t.<\/p>\n No shade to all my exes… But I don’t think there is one guy I would have swiped right on if I saw him on an app (ok, there’s one \u2014 you know who you are). But I also was in years-long relationships with these men I loved and was attracted to! So what’s the missing link there?<\/p>\n First of all, men don’t take great pictures. Though I am really impressed with that trophy fish you caught on that bonding trip with your Dad.<\/p>\n Second of all, the “spark” is real, guys. We all know within 0.5 seconds of making eye contact if there’s an energy exchange. Women aren’t thaaaat slick if they want you to ask them out. You can always tell. Unless you’re one of the guys who approaches 10 women in the street a day, in which case \u2014 stop doing that.<\/p>\n The WOAT is when you match with someone, have great text banter, and then realize you may have been talking to their best friend that whole time because they aren’t funny at all. You know the next hour is going to be brutal.<\/p>\n Sometimes it’s not even about looks \u2014 unless you’ve been FaceTune catfished by your date \u2014it’s just that the energy isn’t there.<\/p>\n In general, the more dead-end dating app matches you get, the more rejected you feel. And then the worse your attitude toward dating is. It’s a vicious cycle that reaffirms that dating is impossible and that energy follows you.<\/p>\n You actually DON’T always need to shoot your shot<\/p>\n