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<\/p>\nI\u2019m as guilty of it as everyone else. But I\u2019m trying to change.<\/p>\n
On the weekend, my glasses started to break. They actually did break, but were still hanging together. (I\u2019ve worn glasses since fourth grade. I knew what was coming.) One of the earpieces was coming away from the frames, and the glasses were only a little bit more than a year old. I\u2019ve got a really strong prescription, and getting the lenses thin enough to fit in normal frames takes a special product. So, very pricey.<\/p>\n
But I wasn\u2019t just apprehensive about the prospective cost. I was angry.<\/p>\n
All the way to the store where I\u2019d purchased them, I revved myself up. What I was going to say if they told me my frames weren\u2019t made anymore and my lenses wouldn\u2019t fit other frames? How angry would I have to get?<\/p>\n
Instead, they took my glasses to the back of the shop, repaired them, brought them back and sent me on my way. No charge.<\/p>\n
I might have gone to the store thinking, \u201cThese glasses are nearly new. I\u2019m sure they\u2019ll do something to fix the problem.\u201d But instead, my immediate reaction was to prepare for a fight.<\/p>\n
And I felt a little foolish, because I\u2019d spent so much time on the way over deliberately making sure I was going to be angry enough to get what I felt was fair.<\/p>\n
We\u2019re perpetually spoiling for a fight because, so often, we actually do have to put up a fight.<\/p>\n
We\u2019re all like that now, more than we\u2019re likely to be willing to admit. We\u2019re perpetually spoiling for a fight because, so often, we actually do have to put up a fight.<\/p>\n
How did we get here? Well, social media certainly helped.<\/p>\n
But we\u2019re also conditioned into it. It\u2019s like dealing with an airline when your flight gets cancelled: often, the first response from the airline is \u201cThere\u2019s nothing we can do,\u201d followed by the customer service rep looking over your shoulder for the next in line.<\/p>\n
The corporate default seems to be deny responsibility first, and don\u2019t offer anything unless the customer is willing to ramp things up. (Presumably, a certain number of customers shrug their shoulders and walk away.)<\/p>\n
More and more, the customer is more than ready to ramp things up.<\/p>\n
But why is that such a great business plan for anyone? And why can\u2019t we just find a way to treat people the way we\u2019d like to be treated?<\/p>\n
Because we don\u2019t.<\/p>\n
Instead, people who never deal with the public decide how their front-facing staff will handle complaints \u2014 usually without the fear of ever having to face that same public themselves.<\/p>\n
Ever hear someone light into front-counter staff at a fast-food restaurant? Chances are, you probably have. There are people who seem to take great satisfaction in starting just that kind of conflict. And why? Does attacking someone making minimum wage improve your day? Make you a better person? Solve even one problem in your life?<\/p>\n
Of course not.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s a recipe for hostility.<\/p>\n
Does attacking someone making minimum wage improve your day? Make you a better person? Solve even one problem in your life?<\/p>\n
And speaking of hostility, back to social media for a moment: when the whole business started, the idea was that we could all engage in some broad-ranging, idea-generating conversation with people we didn\u2019t know (and might not ever meet), who could share ideas and information we weren\u2019t aware of, making for a kind of generalized enlightenment.<\/p>\n
No one considered the notion that dealing with someone you didn\u2019t know would give you licence to belittle, insult and just plain deliver hate from behind a handy curtain of anonymity.<\/p>\n
And it\u2019s spread. Is it possible to write a letter to the editor without calling someone who wrote a different letter an idiot? Of course it is \u2014 yet every week, we get letters that people want us to print, saying someone they\u2019ve never even met is stupid.<\/p>\n
Or this: a man who has produced a crossword for years decides for himself to take it out of production. But you miss doing his puzzles.<\/p>\n
Why not contact the newspaper and ask what happened? Instead, you write to say how angry you are that the crossword writer has been fired so the paper could make more profit. Why on Earth would that be your starting point?<\/p>\n
Because the default is always rage and conspiracy now, not courtesy.<\/p>\n
Common courtesy has become uncommon. An honest mistake is not viewed as an accident \u2014 it\u2019s taken as proof of malice.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t like it. I don\u2019t see the benefit for any of us to be steeped in bile, day in and day out.<\/p>\n
Let\u2019s do what we can to make common courtesy common again.<\/p>\n
Not too many months ago, the Winnipeg Transit bus I was on stopped on Logan to let a passenger off, and then stayed stopped.<\/p>\n
The bus driver\u2019s Plexiglas shield clicked open, and the driver walked down the aisle to the back of the bus. It was out of the ordinary, and out of the ordinary on an early-morning downtown bus can mean a lot of things, not all good.<\/p>\n
But the bus driver was looking for the other passenger who usually got off at Logan. That passenger was at the back of the bus in a seat against the window. Sound asleep.<\/p>\n
\u201cExcuse me,\u201d I heard the driver say, waking the sleeping passenger. \u201cI think we\u2019re at your stop.\u201d<\/p>\n
We were \u2014 and the grateful passenger called out his thanks as he headed for the door.<\/p>\n
The driver didn\u2019t have to do it \u2014 he did it anyway.<\/p>\n
I want to be more like that bus driver. I want everyone to be like that bus driver \u2014 alert to other\u2019s needs, aware of their surroundings more than of their phone, and willing to put themselves out even just a little bit to help.<\/p>\n
Let\u2019s do what we can to make common courtesy common again.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s worth saving.<\/p>\n
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Russell Wangersky Russell Wangersky is Perspectives Editor for the Winnipeg Free Press, and also writes editorials and columns. He worked at newspapers in Newfoundland and Labrador, Ontario and Saskatchewan before joining the Free Press in 2023. A seven-time National Newspaper Award finalist for opinion writing, he\u2019s also penned eight books. Read more about Russell<\/a>.<\/p>\n Russell oversees the team that publishes editorials, opinions and analysis \u2014 part of the Free Press\u2018s tradition, since 1872, of producing reliable independent journalism. Read more about Free Press\u2019s history and mandate<\/a>, and learn how our newsroom operates<\/a>.<\/p>\n Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber<\/a>.<\/p>\n Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.<\/p>\n \t\t
Perspectives editor
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