WHO\u2019S NEXT?<\/p>\n
Like a Christmas day can of John West tuna chunks for one with an accompanying bottle of champagne and war movie triple-bill chez Richard Keys, Tottenham Hotspur Football Club is the gift that keeps on giving. Like Gregory Peck\u2019s crack commando unit attempting to silence the eponymous guns of Navarone, Spurs currently find themselves in an extremely high-stakes race against time only to be repeatedly thwarted at every turn by a mixture of internal sabotage, the at times unbearable burden of leadership and immense dissatisfaction among the rank and file. The mission? To escape an ignominious, financially ruinous slide into the Championship. The plan? A chaotic improvisation that suggests the club hierarchy are just making things up as they go along, one ill-judged managerial appointment at a time.<\/p>\n
Having already seen (and paid) off Thomas Frank<\/a> and Igor Tudor<\/a>, Tottenham are now looking for their third head coach of a Premier League season that has just seven games remaining. Yet to win a top-flight match this year, they hover just one place and point above a drop zone they could well occupy by the time they travel to play their next match against Sunderland at the Stadium of Light. Should West Ham beat Wolves at home on Friday week, Spurs will be in the relegation zone for the first time this season going into their match on Wearside two days later. Following the shortest Tudor reign in British history unless you count that of the \u201cnine-days queen\u201d Lady Jane Grey, the powers that be at Tottenham simply have to get their next appointment right. With so much at stake, it must be heart-warming for fans to hear their club\u2019s board appear to be acting with all the leadership of somebody who used to be cripplingly indecisive but now isn\u2019t so sure.<\/p>\n Having been spotted in that there Big London on Saturday, Sean Dyche was presumed to be Tottenham\u2019s new head coach of choice but insisted that he wasn\u2019t in talks with the club to replace Tudor but was in town to drink pints of Guinness<\/a> at the Seven Stars pub and make an appearance on Talksport. \u201cI was in the pub just up the way near my place I\u2019ve got down here and this guy goes: \u2018Ah, you\u2019re meant to be in talks with Spurs tonight?\u2019,\u201d he said on the wireless. \u201cAnd I say: \u2018I\u2019m sat next to you having a pint of Guinness, so it\u2019s unlikely \u2013 unless you work for Spurs!\u2019.\u201d While assorted club legends such as Ben Davies, Tim Sherwood, \u2018Arry Redknapp and Chirpy the Cockerel have either been mentioned \u2013 or mentioned themselves \u2013 in connection with the fire-fighting role, the club seem hell-bent on appointing Roberto De Zerbi despite the reservations of three separate fan groups who are concerned by his very public backing of Mason Greenwood during his recent stint as Marseille manager.<\/p>\n Best known in England for doing a pretty good job at Brighton until he talked himself out of it the season before last, De Zerbi is believed to be interested in taking over at Spurs but would rather do so in the summer after somebody else has done the grunt-work of keeping them in the Premier League. However, it is being reported he is being offered all manner of tempting financial inducements if he takes the reins now. A highly volatile and combustible touchline presence whose managerial CV is punctuated with occasional incidents of insubordination, the Italian seems exactly the kind of calming presence Tottenham require as they attempt to silence the artillery that threatens their very Premier League survival and avoid the relegation so many rubberneckers crave.<\/p>\n QUOTE OF THE DAY<\/p>\n \u201c[The team] wasn\u2019t showing disrespect for Bosnia or the Bosnian people. I\u2019ve heard people say we were arrogant. There\u2019s really no reason to be, we\u2019ve missed the last two World Cups!\u201d \u2013 Federico Dimarco, who was filmed fist-pumping in celebration with Italy teammates when Bosnia beat Wales in Cardiff, denies the Azzurri were being rude by, assumedly, thinking the Welsh would be tougher opposition.<\/p>\n Federico Dimarco, seen here not fist-pumping. Photograph: Claudio Villa\/FIGC\/Getty Images<\/p>\n double quotation markI\u2019m delighted to hear of Mr Roy\u2019s return to the touchline but it raises a question for me. As a philistine who only learned of his TBOF (two banks or four) in Friday\u2019s Football Daily, I\u2019m compelled to ask how it differs from fellow England alumnus Mike Bassett\u2019s FFFR (four, four, flippin\u2019 two)\u201c \u2013 Simon Riley.<\/p>\n double quotation markA double doff of the cap to Big Paper\u2019s Jonathan Wilson this weekend. Firstly, for pointing out<\/a> that \u2018in the 2018 World Cup semi-final, the clearest signal England were done for was Jordan Henderson gamely running shuttles as Luka Modric, Marcelo Brozovic and Ivan Rakitic knocked the ball round him\u2019 a whole eight years before Tommy Tuchel picked him for the game against Uruguay<\/a>. And, secondly, for hoping that most readers would know, or could be bothered to Google, what the \u2018Gaia hypothesis\u2019 is, in the very same piece. Never change, Wilson, never change\u201d \u2013 Noble Francis.<\/p>\n double quotation markSo Tudor lasted 44 days at Spurs (with some compassionate extension). Bloody hell, that was shorter than Liz Truss\u2019s tenure in charge of the government. At least he didn\u2019t spaff \u00a365bn in the process, so the experiment might be deemed a success if one sets the bar very very low\u201d \u2013 Nigel Sanders.<\/p>\n double quotation markI was playing Football Manager earlier today when I got offered the Tottenham job. I thanked them but declined the offer, hung up the phone and then returned to playing my game\u201d \u2013 James Vortkamp-Tong.<\/p>\n If you have any, please send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com<\/a>. Today\u2019s prizeless letter o\u2019 the day is \u2026 Noble Francis. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, are here<\/a>.<\/p>\n RECOMMENDED LISTENING<\/p>\n Listen up! It\u2019s Max Rushden, Barry Glendenning and the rest of the Football Weekly pod squad with a look back<\/a> at the weekend\u2019s news and action. And you can watch the pod here<\/a> if you like that kind of thing.<\/p>\n RECOMMENDED SUBSCRIBING<\/p>\n