{"id":573423,"date":"2026-03-31T18:25:08","date_gmt":"2026-03-31T18:25:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/573423\/"},"modified":"2026-03-31T18:25:08","modified_gmt":"2026-03-31T18:25:08","slug":"jon-stewart-on-trump-less-war-leader-more-grandpa-whos-lost-his-filter-late-night-tv-roundup","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/573423\/","title":{"rendered":"Jon Stewart on Trump: less war leader, more \u2018grandpa who\u2019s lost his filter\u2019 | Late-night TV roundup"},"content":{"rendered":"

Late-night hosts checked in on Donald Trump<\/a>\u2019s costly \u201cimprov\u201d war in Iran<\/a>, which he cannot seem to focus on for more than one minute.<\/p>\n

Jon Stewart<\/p>\n

This week marks a month of Donald Trump\u2019s unauthorized war in Iran, \u201cand as we all know, one month is the elevated threat anniversary\u201d, joked Jon Stewart<\/a> on Monday evening.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n

\u201cTrump is threatening to escalate our bombing campaign unless Iran opens the strait that they closed in response to Trump\u2019s bombing campaign,\u201d the Daily Show host explained. \u201cI believe we\u2019ve entered what General Patton used to refer to as the \u2018human centipede portion\u2019 of the war.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stewart then mocked news coverage of the strait of Hormuz closure, which focused on potential disruptions to the supply of Dubai chocolate, the chocolate bar with pistachio paste that has become a favorite treat of influencers. \u201cOh no! What will our influencers stand in line to pretend to eat?\u201d he joked. \u201cDubai chocolate? My god! It\u2019s been an American staple for tens of days.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t believe how the news has to frame world events to try to make Americans care,\u201d Stewart continued. \u201cThe whole region is being flattened. Innocent people are dying. Their food and fuel are in total chaos, and our news is like, \u2018If this goes on any longer, say goodbye to your stuffed-crust pizza!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

The host then tore into Trump\u2019s inability to focus on the war, not letting a major military escalation prevent him \u201cfrom doing his rounds at the golf course and at a Saudi investment meeting in Miami\u201d, he said. \u201cBecause God forbid, during a war, he let the precipice of world war three yuck his yum in any way.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI find it so astounding that this nuclear-armed manbaby doesn\u2019t seem to have any understanding of the confusion and anxiety that his ill-planned adventure in Iran is causing this country,\u201d he added. \u201cHe\u2019s just trucking along like it\u2019s any old episode of The Apprentice.\u201d<\/p>\n

On Friday, the president addressed a room full of Saudi investors \u2013 \u201cwho you would think might be very concerned about the bombings in their neighborhood\u201d, Stewart noted \u2013 but \u201che wants to let them know: we don\u2019t have to talk about that at all.\u201d<\/p>\n

At the briefing, Trump rambled on and said: \u201cYou can ask me anything you want. You can talk sex!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe can ask about sex \u2026 ?\u201d asked a nervous Stewart, facetiously pulling out a folder labeled \u201cEpstein Files\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cHonestly, his leering behavior is less \u2018commander-in-chief at war\u2019 and more \u2018grandpa who\u2019s lost his filter in public\u2019,\u201d he noted. \u201cInstead of assuaging a nervous nation, he\u2019s just embarrassing the whole family at dinner, going, \u2018Hey, you see our waitress is a busty one!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll we keep hearing from this administration is why the American people have to sacrifice for Trump\u2019s vision of America\u2019s greatness,\u201d he concluded. \u201cThat these temporary disruptions are just part of the process. And why can\u2019t we be patriots? We have to be patient. We have to suck it up. Whether it\u2019s high gas prices or whimsical tariff inflation, or draconian ICE raids, or temporary Bill of Rights suspensions \u2013 it\u2019s on us to understand. But Trump gets to be just the same ol\u2019 \u2018ain\u2019t I a stinker?\u2019 utterly self-absorbed \u2018remember when I used to want to fuck hot girls?\u2019 twat self.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCan you imagine any other president, let alone a wartime president, being this fucking indulgent?\u201d<\/p>\n

Stephen Colbert<\/p>\n

And on The Late Show, Stephen Colbert<\/a> recapped the third weekend of No Kings protests<\/a>, which drew over 8 million people worldwide and was the largest single-day protest ever held in the US since the first Earth Day in 1970. Trump is \u201cso unpopular\u201d, Colbert added, that there was even a large No Kings march in London. \u201cA No Kings march in London must have been awkward,\u201d Colbert mused. \u201cHow does that make Charles feel?\u201d<\/p>\n

Colbert paid particular attention to the Minneapolis march, which included a giant inflatable Trump that appeared to be defecating on the constitution. \u201cSpectacular craftsmanship,\u201d the host said. \u201cAbove all else, whoever made that should be proud, because one day their grandchild will ask them how they resisted the rise of American fascism, and they can proudly say, \u2018Well, Tyler, your grandma and I worked round the clock with a team of fellow patriots to answer the eternal question of democracy: can we make an angry balloon that looks like it\u2019s pooping fire? Yes, you can.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOne reason that so many people showed up to No Kings this weekend is that we are still at war with Iran \u2013 I think?\u201d Colbert continued, \u201cbecause Trump is sending mixed messages\u201d by pursuing both a rapid-exit strategy while also mulling escalations that would dramatically raise the stakes. \u201cTrying to follow the strategy of this president in this war is like getting relationship updates from your most chaotic friend \u2013 \u2018Travis and I are either breaking up, or getting engaged this weekend. But one thing is for sure: we\u2019re getting a dog!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Despite claiming that the war is won, Trump is reportedly threatening to send troops, giving the war an \u201cerratic, make-it-up-as-you-go feel\u201d, as the New York Times put it. \u201cYes, it is officially America\u2019s first improv war,\u201d Colbert quipped.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s a reason Trump thinks of the war as a bunch of zooms and booms,\u201d he added, because the president is reportedly receiving his daily briefing on the war in the form of a highlight reel of, as one person described it, \u201cstuff blowing up\u201d. The videos, prepped for him by the Pentagon, includes the biggest strikes on Iranian targets in the last 48 hours. \u201cIt\u2019s a greatest hits of the Pentagon\u2019s greatest hits,\u201d Colbert quipped, \u201cand it\u2019s all compiled on the CD Now That\u2019s What I Call A Military Operation: Because Legally Only Congress Can Declare War.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Late-night hosts checked in on Donald Trump\u2019s costly \u201cimprov\u201d war in Iran, which he cannot seem to focus…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":573424,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[29],"tags":[49,48,75,348],"class_list":["post-573423","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-tv","tag-ca","tag-canada","tag-entertainment","tag-tv"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/573423","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=573423"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/573423\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/573424"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=573423"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=573423"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=573423"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}