Jamie-Lynn Sigler didn\u2019t think she \u201cwould survive\u201d her \u201ctoxic\u201d marriage to former manager Abraxas \u201cAJ\u201d Discala.<\/p>\n
The actress told Us Weekly<\/a> on Wednesday that she fantasized about death during her \u201ccomplicated\u201d and \u201creally messy\u201d romance with her first husband.<\/p>\n When the former couple got together, Discala, 55, \u201cwas in a relationship and tied to his family and then [Sigler] got diagnosed with MS<\/a>,\u201d the \u201cSopranos\u201d alum recalled.<\/p>\n Jamie-Lynn Sigler looked back on her \u201ctoxic\u201d marriage to Abraxas \u201cAJ\u201d Discala (pictured together above in 2003) in a new interview. WireImage for ACP<\/p>\n The actress (pictured above in May 2005) fantasized about death during the \u201cdark\u201d period. WireImage<\/p>\n Because of \u201call of these things,\u201d Sigler felt like the \u201crelationship had to work\u201d to make the struggles \u201cworth it.\u201d<\/p>\n The \u201cEntourage\u201d alum was hiding her multiple sclerosis<\/a> from the public at the time, as well as her marriage issues and past eating disorder \u2014 and all of the secrets \u201cpiled up on top\u201d and \u201csuffocated\u201d her.<\/p>\n \u201cI was just \u2026 literally trying to survive every day,\u201d Sigler told the outlet. \u201cI was constantly in survival mode. \u2026 I knew that I didn\u2019t want to be with him, but I was terrified to be without him. Who would protect me?\u201d<\/p>\n The \u201cSopranos\u201d alum (pictured above in 2003) was hiding her marital struggles from the public, as well as her MS diagnosis. WireImage for ACP<\/p>\n This led to Sigler (pictured above in February 2005) feeling \u201csuffocated.\u201d Patrick McMullan via Getty Images<\/p>\n \t\t\t\t\t\t\tWant more celebrity and pop culture news?\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n \n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tStart your day with Page Six Daily.\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n \t\t\t\t\t\tThanks for signing up!\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n The \u201cMeSsy\u201d podcast host was \u201cso dependent\u201d on Discala that she felt she would be \u201cfree-falling\u201d without him.<\/p>\n \u201cIt was very complicated and very scary, and I think that\u2019s what led to that incredibly painful and dark moment for me of just feeling, like, \u2018I can\u2019t feel this much pain anymore,’\u201d she said. \u201cI had to get to the moment where [I understood] that I was not going to survive much longer if I stayed in that marriage.\u201d<\/p>\n She added that her thoughts about dying weren\u2019t \u201ceven really about suicide\u201d but, instead, \u201ca cry for help.\u201d<\/p>\n The \u201cEntourage\u201d alum (pictured above in 2005) told Us Weekly on Wednesday that she didn\u2019t think she\u2019d \u201csurvive\u201d the marriage. WireImage<\/p>\n She described the \u201cmessy\u201d romance in her new memoir, \u201cAnd So It Is.\u201d Harper Collins<\/p>\n Sigler said, \u201cI needed someone to know how much pain I was in. I needed somebody to know how terrified I was, how overwhelmed I was, and he was going through his own thing, and he couldn\u2019t see it. I couldn\u2019t share it with anybody else. It was just a desperate cry for help, and I was terrified.\u201d<\/p>\n Although she felt like a \u201cfailure\u201d becoming a divorced 24-year-old, Sigler and Discala ultimately called it quits.<\/p>\n Discala has since been convicted in\u00a0a $300 million pump-and-dump stock scheme<\/a> and sentenced to more than a decade in prison<\/a>.<\/p>\n Sigler, who describes their breakup in her \u201cAnd So It Is\u201d memoir, moved on<\/a> with restaurateur Scott Sartiano, followed by actor Jerry Ferrara and NFL player Mark Sanchez.<\/p>\n She is now married to Cutter Dykstra (pictured above in December 2024). jamielynnsigler\/Instagram<\/p>\n Sigler (pictured above on March 14) lives in Texas with her partner and their two sons. jamielynnsigler\/Instagram<\/p>\n In 2012, she began dating her now-husband, Cutter Dykstra.<\/p>\n The couple got married<\/a> in January 2016 and have two sons<\/a> \u2014 Beau, 12, and Jack, 8.<\/p>\n