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In The City<\/a><\/p>\n Mothers and Milkmen<\/p>\n \n Season 1<\/p>\n Episode 2\n <\/p>\n \n Editor\u2019s Rating<\/p>\n 2 stars<\/p>\n **\n <\/p>\n \n Photo: Bravo\n <\/p>\n Lindsay Hubbard will always be famous. Just look at how she displays her art willy nilly, all around the city, everywhere she goes, like she\u2019s Banksy and every cut-rate cocktail party is a dimly lit building in need of some socially conscious art. It truly is a sight to behold her conjuring up drama like she\u2019s Harry Potter, and she\u2019s [insert something from Harry Potter because I was out in the world kissing boys, taking drugs, and going to illegal raves while the rest of you nerds were reading those books. Haha. JK. I was reading comics.]<\/p>\n It starts in the first scene when she and my latest crush object, Gavin, are at his establishment, Rocco\u2019s, and they\u2019re talking about the events of the last episode<\/a>, how Kenny probably hates her, and how she wants nothing to do with her former bestie Danielle. Then she pulls out her wand, says \u201cWhooshkaboozle\u201d (that\u2019s from Harry Potter, right?), and who appears but Robert, Danielle\u2019s ex-boyfriend, who was on several seasons of Summer House<\/a>. Lindsay asks him what she should do about Danielle, and he just melts into a puddle of Silly Puddy and slowly squeaks away back into the kitchen before he can answer the question. Regardless, maximum drama achieved.<\/p>\n Her main antagonist this evening is Kenny. I can\u2019t tell if I don\u2019t like Kenny based on the merits of his personality, or I just don\u2019t like him because he\u2019s so far Lindsay\u2019s biggest opp on the cast. When he\u2019s talking to the boys, he says that he doesn\u2019t like that Lindsay gathers her \u201cminions\u201d and was questioning him about his relationship with Whitney. Okay, first of all, those are not her minions; they are her friends. If they were her minions, they\u2019d be more yellow and copyright-protected so they would never appear on Bravo. Secondly, she was just trying to get to know Kenny, and their mutual friend was right there taking just as many shots. Why is he upset that Lindsay did it? Is it because he doesn\u2019t know her? Is it because she\u2019s a girl?<\/p>\n This all comes to a head when Kenny throws his girlfriend Whitney a Welcome to New York party, which is named after Taylor Swift\u2019s least annoying song. (Oh yes, I\u2019m coming for both Harry Potter and Taylor Swift, and I\u2019m calling attention to how edgy I am, just like Ricky Gervais, our second-worst comedian. Add him to the list!) But before Lindsay can get to eviscerating Kenny, she first has to meet Frank, the single guy that Andrea brought to the party and plopped at Lindsay\u2019s feet like he\u2019s a cat that just killed a pigeon out in the yard. Andrea presented Frank to Lindsay. She took out her wand and said, \u201cKemfrabrizzlesticks!\u201d and he turned into a milkman. But not just any milkman, this is the same milkman that Kelly Dodd dated on <\/a>Real Housewives of Orange County<\/a> way back in 2018. A hot guy she might date is one thing; a hot guy she might date on his second Bravo show, once again, maximum drama achieved. (Frank looks great, but why do I remember him being, I don\u2019t know, a bit hotter?)<\/p>\n Lindsay goes over to talk to Kenny because Kyle told her that he\u2019s upset with how she behaved at the party. Kenny says it seemed like she was grilling him and that she was recruiting people to come talk about him. It\u2019s called a party, Kenny, people want to be a part of the most exciting conversation, and I have a feeling that conversation is wherever Lindsay is. She says that she is just trying to get to know people, and she does that by going deep. (This is also why she is excellent at her job.) Kenny says that it didn\u2019t seem genuine and, well, that seems like a comment about being on a reality show from someone who has been on a reality show about as long as Anthony Scaramucci lasted in the White House.<\/p>\n Kenny does make a great point and says that it seems like drama just follows Lindsay wherever she goes. I mean, point taken. Just at that party, she is currently beefing with Kenny and Danielle, she and Kyle have shouted at each other more than once, and she basically bullied Amanda so hard that Kyle had to send an 18-page email asking her to be nice. So, yeah, one point for Kenny in this game of Quindiff. (That\u2019s the game from Harry Potter, right?) But then Kenny goes totally wrong and says that Lindsay met her man and had a baby with him after only two months, and he feels like she\u2019s projecting her insecurities onto him. Oh no. Kenny. You just lost, my man. That is not at all what is happening here. Lindsay is right, she did say that his girlfriend Whitney moving here without a ring is a big commitment and not something many women would do, and she is correct on that. She wasn\u2019t making a judgement on them specifically, even if she was judging the situation a bit generally. Finally, Lindsay ends it, thanks him for inviting her, and then runs off to the 6 Train to flee Grand Central Station for the warm confines of FiDi.<\/p>\n To get back to Lindsay\u2019s other fight, she doesn\u2019t even want to bother with Danielle, barely talks to her, and completely avoids any confrontation. You might think that this is not maximizing the drama, but this is why you are not Lindsay Hubbard, and Lindsay Hubbard is Lindsay Hubbard. She knows that by ignoring Danielle, she\u2019s only going to make it worse. She also sends Kyle to do her dirty work, and Kyle falls right into the trap, telling Danielle that Lindsay says she is boy crazy and has issues with the timeline of her relationship with Eoin, a man without anything more than a shelf. Danielle is worked up; she is ready to blow, so that when Lindsay finally deigns to speak with her, it\u2019s going to be like Fukushima all over again. Her genius is astounding.<\/p>\n There are a few other non-Lindsay-related storylines. Whitney is moving into Kenny\u2019s, and she wants to turn the second bedroom into a closet. She says she\u2019s not an \u201coutfit repeater.\u201d Um, okay, then why are you buying so many clothes from Shein and other places and just clogging up our one spectacular planet with your fast fashion? How about renting your clothes instead? That seems like a much better use of her money and certainly a much better use of the space in your boyfriend\u2019s apartment. I don\u2019t know. I\u2019m skeptical of Whitney. The whole thing seems off, like an open vat of chicken salad. Kenny is also having a pre-beef with Gavin. He thinks Gavin is going to be acting weird now that he has a GF and that leads to him perceiving Gavin\u2019s behavior as weird. This is a call that is coming from inside the house.<\/p>\n The other big storyline, of course, is the collapse of Kyle and Amanda\u2019s marriage. I have to admit, after this season of Summer House, and the blockbuster first part of its reunion, I\u2019m a little sick of talking about it. We all know this ends in tears, recriminations, and some of the worst decision-making found outside of a high school cafeteria. Do we need to look at every bad decision, every scrap of evidence, every milestone on the path to destruction? I will say the light hoarderness that we\u2019re seeing in their apartment is a little shocking. I am no neatnik, but the piles of clothes and things just everywhere are making me want to get out the vacuum. What do you mean there\u2019s a whole shower they can\u2019t use because it\u2019s full of Amanda\u2019s shit that she can\u2019t figure out what to do with? Get rid of it! Give it to someone else, like Georgina gave Gemma her daughter\u2019s baby Louboutins. Give it to Whitney. She\u2019s trying to never repeat an outfit like that will get her into fashionista heaven or some shit.<\/p>\n Amanda and Lindsay go looking for apartments. Amanda is looking for something furnished, month-to-month, pet-friendly, doorman-operated, and with lots of light. Okay. Is she also on a search for the Holy Grail? Does she want to drop $29,000 a month on the Fountain of Youth? Does she have a map to El Dorado and a ragtag group of travelers trying to strike it rich? This is something she is never going to find. Lindsay got out her wand one last time. She waved it in the general direction of Manhattan and said, \u201cRum Tum Tugger,\u201d but an apartment didn\u2019t appear. It was just more drama. If there\u2019s one thing we know about drama, it\u2019s that it can pay your rent, but you certainly can\u2019t live in it.<\/p>\n Sign up for the Housewives Institute Bulletin<\/p>\n Dame Brian Moylan breaks down all the gossip and drama, on- and off-screen, for dedicated students of the Reality Television Arts and Sciences.<\/p>\n Vox Media, LLC Terms and Privacy Notice<\/p>\n