What to know<\/p>\n
There is no universal rule\u2014some Toronto daters say they are comfortable having sex on the first date, while others prefer to wait.<\/p>\n
Societal double standards and stigma remain, especially for women, with judgments around being \u201ctoo easy\u201d or \u201ca prude,\u201d Toronto locals shared with Now Toronto.<\/p>\n
The most important factors are mutual consent and intent, according to experts: both people should want to, and know why they want to.<\/p>\n
Intimacy on the first date doesn\u2019t guarantee a connection, and both parties shouldn\u2019t judge each other for making the same choice, an expert shared with Now Toronto.<\/p>\n
Some people swear by the \u201cthree-date rule.\u201d Others think if the chemistry is there, why wait?<\/p>\n
For this edition of This Is Dating Now, NOW Toronto hit King Street West to ask a question that continues to divide daters: does having sex on the first date change how you view someone?<\/p>\n
The answers ranged from \u201clife is too short\u201d to \u201cit\u2019s too easy,\u201d revealing that while attitudes around sex have evolved, the stigma surrounding it hasn\u2019t disappeared entirely.<\/p>\n
Read More<\/p>\n
Do you have sex on the first date, or is there an appropriate waiting period?<\/p>\n
Toronto resident Pratyush S. says he doesn\u2019t sleep with someone on the first date, but said he wouldn\u2019t judge the other if he were to do so.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think you should do it whenever you feel right. Life is too short to think about such things,\u201d he told Now Toronto.<\/p>\n
Meanwhile, Toronto resident Jeff Z. says he would have sex on the first date.<\/p>\n
\u201cI guess you can wait as long as you want, but as long as you\u2019re interested in the person, it doesn\u2019t really matter how long it takes to sleep with them,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
Toronto resident Olivia V. said she might, if the guy\u2019s \u201chot enough.\u201d<\/p>\n
Having sex with someone is also a way for her to determine if he\u2019s bad in bed earlier and end the connection before it progresses.<\/p>\n
Her friend, Nicole M., says she only has sex when there\u2019s no other option.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf it happens right away, there\u2019s nothing to look forward to,\u201d she explained.<\/p>\n
Instead, she will usually try to \u201cbuild up the engine\u201d and wait at least three dates before getting intimate.<\/p>\n
But Toronto resident Eazz C. disagrees, saying that having sex earlier makes him gain more interest. Why? \u201cBecause you don\u2019t care about public opinion,\u201d he explained.<\/p>\n
He joked there\u2019s no appropriate time to wait unless you\u2019re a Mormon.<\/p>\n
Toronto resident Lukas N. agrees that he will sleep with someone on a first date if that\u2019s the vibe.<\/p>\n
Is having sex on the first date still stigmatized?<\/p>\n
Pratyush S. believes it is still heavily stigmatized.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf a guy sleeps on the first date, he\u2019s considered cool, whereas, like, if a woman sleeps on the first date, they are sometimes judged to have low character or self-respect,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
Jeff Z. proves to be part of the stigma. If he were to have sex with someone on the first date, he would absolutely judge them.<\/p>\n
\u201cI wouldn\u2019t date them. It\u2019s just too easy. I think self-respect is important,\u201d he told Now Toronto.<\/p>\n
Nicole M. believes women are most susceptible to the stigma.<\/p>\n
\u201cI feel like women have an expectation that if we don\u2019t give it away, we\u2019re prudes, but if we give it away, we\u2019re s**ts. I feel like there\u2019s no winning,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
Eazz C. believes there are different standards, comparing it to this analogy. \u201cIf we\u2019re at a table and 10 people move your cup from the outside of the cup, you\u2019re probably still going to drink from that cup, but if 10 people put their fingers inside the cup, you probably won\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
Lukas N. simply said, \u201cLet the dogs bark,\u201d to people who would judge him or a girl for having sex on a first date.<\/p>\n
Expert weighs in: To have sex on the first date or not?<\/p>\n