Mental health wasn\u2019t exactly a dinner table topic in the \u201970s and \u201980s, she said. Apart from a Woody Allen film \u2015 or the kind of urbane circles those movies depicted \u2015 it wasn\u2019t really talked about at all.<\/p>\n
\u201cTherapy wasn\u2019t seen as a proactive tool for healing and growth so much as it was an absolute last resort to turn to,\u201d Douglas, who was born in 1970 herself, told HuffPost. \u201cBecause of that, many Gen Xers can still have a sense that they should be able to muscle through troubles on their own.\u201d<\/p>\n
For some Gen Xers, off-putting experiences with quirky \u201970s- and \u201980s-era therapists \u2015 or ones who felt overly performative \u2015 have made them hesitant to go back.<\/p>\n
\u201cI had one client tell me about a family session from his teens where a therapist forced the entire family to hold hands, look each other in the eye, and recite \u2018I love you\u2019 to each family member,\u201d Douglas said. \u201cIt was so forced, awkward and profoundly disconnected from their actual family dynamic that they never went back.\u201d<\/p>\n
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For some Gen Xers, off-putting experiences with therapists in their childhood have made them hesitant to go back. <\/p>\n
Still, more members of the latchkey generation are starting to try therapy. In 2018, about 26% of Gen Xers said they\u2019d sought therapy<\/a> at some point, according to the American Psychological Association \u2014 and that number has only climbed since the COVID-19 pandemic kicked off a full-blown therapy boom, fueled in part by the rise of telehealth<\/a>.<\/p>\n \u201cOnce they\u2019re actually in the room, Gen Xers are often some of the most committed clients I work with,\u201d said Jennifer Chappell Marsh<\/a>, a marriage and family therapist in San Diego, California.<\/p>\n Her Gen X clients are adaptable and genuinely want to understand what\u2019s happening in their lives and what makes them tick. <\/p>\n \u201cThey respond really well when the work makes sense to them,\u201d she told HuffPost. \u201cWhen I can help a Gen X client see that the way they\u2019ve been coping was a completely logical response to what they lived through, something shifts.\u201d <\/p>\n What exactly are they discussing on therapists\u2019 couches? Below, Marsh, Douglas and other therapists share the top issues they hear from Gen Xers.<\/p>\n Johner Images via Getty Images<\/p>\n When Gen Xers do seek help with a mental health professional, it’s often a massive relief, though it can feel foreign or scary at first. <\/p>\n They have chronic stress with no blueprint for asking for help.<\/p>\n Raised to be self-reliant, many Gen Xers take a DIY approach to their personal problems. Marsh said a lot of her Gen X clients grew up in homes with divorced or two working parents, where emotional attunement was often lacking. The lesson they absorbed, she said, was simple: You get through things by handling them yourself.<\/p>\n \u201cIn attachment terms, we\u2019d call this a dismissing style \u2015 self-reliant, uncomfortable with dependence, skilled at managing their own distress without letting anyone in,\u201d she said. \u201cWhen midlife hits and everything gets heavy, they don\u2019t reach out, they just keep going.\u201d<\/p>\n When they do seek help with a mental health professional, it\u2019s often a massive relief, though it can feel foreign or scary at first. <\/p>\n \u201cTherapy is often the first time a Gen X client has genuinely been invited to slow down and feel what\u2019s been building for decades,\u201d she said. <\/p>\n They\u2019re questioning long-term marriages and relationships. <\/p>\n Douglas said there\u2019s a \u201cmassive un-mooring\u201d happening in Gen X partnerships today, especially among long-term straight couples. After decades of carrying the lion\u2019s share of the mental and emotional load for their families, many Gen X women are looking at their marriages and realizing they might actually prefer being alone, she said.<\/p>\n \u201cThey are choosing peace and ease by casting off the responsibilities of mental and emotional labor that has long been taken for granted,\u201d she said. \u201cMeanwhile, I see men are hitting a wall where being stoic and staying at a remove doesn\u2019t work anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHusbands are realizing that to survive and thrive in this stage of life with their partners, they need to understand their and their partners\u2019 emotional lives so they can connect on deep, meaningful levels,\u201d Douglas said. <\/p>\n After decades of just getting by, many of these partners are either finding the courage to leave or finally speaking up about their emotions and needs in hopes of carving out the lives they actually want.<\/p>\n MoMo Productions via Getty Images<\/p>\n “Husbands are realizing that to survive and thrive in this stage of life with their partners, they need to understand their and their partners\u2019 emotional lives so they can connect on deep meaningful levels,” said Tracy Douglas, a therapist in Wisconsin who specializes in Gen X clients.<\/p>\n They\u2019re burnt out.<\/p>\n Gen X has collective strength and grit, but without self-care and community care, burnout sets in, said Jessika Fruchter<\/a>, a marriage and family therapist in Oakland, California. When clients show up in her office, \u201cthey\u2019re often exhausted from white-knuckling through it all.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAt this point in midlife, many of them are both caregivers to kids and to aging parents,\u201d she said. \u201cThey also have careers, relationships and a long list of other responsibilities.\u201d<\/p>\n Many in Gen X were latchkey kids, and Fruchter said it\u2019s not uncommon to hear boasts like, \u201cI basically raised myself.\u201d <\/p>\n \u201cOver time, though, that hyper-independence becomes a liability,\u201d she said. \u201cMuch of the work here is about learning to ask for help and prioritize caring for ourselves, as we do others.\u201d<\/p>\n They\u2019re waiting for their adult children to grow up. <\/p>\n Many Gen Xers struggle with moving out of the parenting stage of their lives, said Kurt Smith<\/a>, a therapist in Roseville, California, who specializes in counseling men. It\u2019s not uncommon for adult children in their 30s and 40s to be living back at home.<\/p>\n \u201cThis can occur for understandable reasons, but some adult children never leave when they come back or even have a plan or desire to do so,\u201d Smith said. \u201cTheir Gen X parents end up struggling to distinguish between whether they\u2019re loving or enabling them. This is a problem that much fewer of their parents had.\u201d<\/p>\n Gen X women are going through menopause.<\/p>\n When it comes to being transparent about perimenopause or menopause, Gen X women are pattern breakers, Fruchter said. <\/p>\n \u201cEarlier generations rarely spoke out about how challenging this developmental stage actually is, and what a toll it can take on mental health,\u201d she said. \u201cBetween hormonal shifts, identity shifts and difficult physical symptoms, Gen X women seek out a space for support. \u201d<\/p>\n They\u2019re anxious over money.<\/p>\n![\"When](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/69e91909140000e34becae2f.jpeg\")
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Some Gen X parents are experiencing adult children moving back home. <\/p>\n
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