{"id":928430,"date":"2026-10-11T01:28:09","date_gmt":"2026-10-11T01:28:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/928430\/"},"modified":"2026-10-11T01:28:09","modified_gmt":"2026-10-11T01:28:09","slug":"toronto-headmaster-asks-students-what-kind-of-man-will-you-be-in-wake-of-cornell-sexual-assault-allegations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/928430\/","title":{"rendered":"Toronto headmaster asks students, \u2018What kind of man will you be?\u2019 in wake of Cornell sexual-assault allegations"},"content":{"rendered":"

Open this photo in gallery:<\/a><\/p>\n

Stephen Beatty, headmaster at Royal St. George\u2019s School in Toronto, urged his students last week to not be silent bystanders.Supplied<\/p>\n

An investigation into the alleged sexual assault of a Cornell University student has sparked much public outcry and conversations among students, parents and educators. <\/p>\n

One Toronto principal at an independent all-boys school urged his students last week \u201cto speak up and act\u201d when they know \u201csomething isn\u2019t right.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stephen Beatty, headmaster at Royal St. George\u2019s College, spoke at an assembly for Grades 9 through Grade 12 students, about not being silent bystanders. <\/p>\n

New York State prosecutors have reopened an investigation into the alleged 2024 sexual assault<\/a> after the woman filed a civil lawsuit last month saying she was drugged and sexually assaulted by several members of a campus fraternity. <\/p>\n

The woman\u2019s complaint accuses the university of not preventing the alleged assaults and failing to properly address sexual violence on campus. It includes a photo that it says shows a group chat between frat members discussing the night\u2019s events and inviting other men to assault the woman. <\/p>\n

The following is an excerpt of Beatty\u2019s address to students on Oct. 5: <\/p>\n

This is a big conversation and it will begin and end with a big question. A simple question but one that we need, right now, to ask: What kind of man do you want to be? What kind of man will you be?<\/p>\n

In this space a few years ago, the first time I had this conversation with Senior School boys, I spoke about the Steubenville rape case in Ohio in which two high school students, big-shot football players, sexually assaulted a girl who was passed out drunk at a party. She only knew what had happened to her when the photos started appearing on social media. She had the courage to press charges and speak up. The boys were found guilty of the crime and spent time in prison. All three of their young lives changed. As the boys said in court, \u201cOur lives are ruined.\u201d I suspect he\u2019s right.<\/p>\n

School is about learning and, perhaps the most important thing you are learning is about yourself. I\u2019ll ask again. What kind of man do you want to be? What kind of man will you be? Because let\u2019s agree that simply not being the instigator of an assault or not being an active or even passive participant is not even close to enough. I know I don\u2019t need to say that.<\/p>\n

We need to be better than that. I think what we need to reflect on is the silence. The silence that at least 50 Cornell students reportedly left hanging in the air while a young woman was allegedly raped. The silence that meant a young woman in Steubenville only came to understand what happened to her when she saw pictures on other people\u2019s social media. The silence that is, I think, the one thing I want you to remember from this morning and our commitment to not remain silent.<\/p>\n

Explainer: What to know about the investigation into the Cornell University sexual-assault allegations<\/a><\/p>\n

What do we do when someone makes a degrading joke about a girl or woman and the whole group laughs?<\/p>\n

What do you do if someone shows you a private photograph that was never meant for you?<\/p>\n

What would you do when a group chat turns cruel, or a friend starts talking about someone as though she is a prize to be won or a possession to be had?<\/p>\n

Do you join in? Do you stay quiet because you don\u2019t want to make things awkward? Do you tell yourself that your friend doesn\u2019t really mean it? That he\u2019s a good guy after all just doing something stupid.<\/p>\n

Do you choose voice or do you choose silence?<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been here a long time. I\u2019ve worked with a lot of kids. I was also a young man once too. I know that silence is safe. I know that silence allows us to keep being one of the boys. I know why silence is the safer path.<\/p>\n

But silence is the opposite of safe to the girls and women we care about. Our silence is their risk. Our silence can be their harm. Our silence allows the men who do harm women to continue to do so. And our silence makes us complicit in that harm.<\/p>\n

And, this is the thing from an old man that cares for you. That silence is insidious. Our silence doesn\u2019t just allow harm to others, to women. It eats away at us, as men. Knowing something is wrong, and knowing that we know others around know it\u2019s wrong, and none of us saying so is corrosive in men. It\u2019s the silence that numbs young men\u2019s souls. It\u2019s the same silence that keeps men, that keeps us, feeling alone when we need to not be alone. It\u2019s what stops men from asking for help.<\/p>\n

Silence can be framed as some manly quality. \u201cThe strong silent type.\u201d Don\u2019t believe that. It is not strong. Please believe me. What is truly masculine and strong is breaking silence. We need to be brave. Not silent. Decide that the man you are and the man you will be will not be silent.<\/p>\n

Decide now, decide today, that you are going to be that man who does not stand by in silence.<\/p>\n

The words are easy enough. The courage to say them is the strength of the person you are:<\/p>\n

To the joke or gesture: \u201cThat\u2019s enough.\u201d<\/p>\n

To the person sharing the image: \u201cDon\u2019t send me that.\u201d<\/p>\n

To the person showing you the image: \u201cDelete it.\u201d<\/p>\n

You might need to tell a friend: \u201cThis is wrong. Don\u2019t do it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Silence is the weak part. That\u2019s what will really leave anyone feeling shame. The real strength is in not being silent.<\/p>\n

The \u201cwhy\u201d is because we can\u2019t be silent. For the women in our lives, for anyone who is alone and vulnerable and, ultimately, for ourselves. We can\u2019t be silent because we just can\u2019t live with the harmful impact of silence.<\/p>\n

And when breaking the silence is about something more serious and more injurious, when the breaking of the silence makes sure someone gets home safely or stops an attack like what happened in Steubenville requires a remarkable amount of courage. It may be the most courageous thing you ever do.<\/p>\n

We practice fire drills and lockdown drills to make sure we are ready to act in the case of an actual situation. I\u2019d like to suggest how you might manage a situation like the ones I\u2019ve been describing. Let\u2019s talk about it now, in this safe space, and maybe in the actual situation you can remember this training.<\/p>\n

First, do what you can to not let it get anywhere near this situation. If you see someone, male or female, who has had too much to drink or is otherwise unable to take care of themselves, whether you know them or not, you need to help keep them safe. If it is your friend, get an Uber, get in with them and take them home. Or call their parents and introduce yourself and tell them to come pick up their kid. Do not leave someone who can\u2019t take care of themself alone. Ever. They need to get home safely.<\/p>\n

If it is a girl, I recognize that there can be added difficulty. Find her friends. Tell them they NEED to take her home. Or they NEED to call her parents to come and get her. If they won\u2019t or don\u2019t, then you need to call her parents yourself to come and get her. Or you need to stay with her until she can do that for herself. Keep a friend with you. Do not leave her alone.<\/p>\n

What Vivek Shraya\u2019s new book can teach us about campus sexual violence<\/a><\/p>\n

And yes. I recognize I am asking you, instructing you to do something that is incredibly courageous. As I said before and I\u2019ll say again, this might be the most important thing you ever do.<\/p>\n

If you sense a situation where someone else is at risk or vulnerable to be assaulted or is being assaulted and isn\u2019t able to say no, or isn\u2019t being listened to when she does say no, well there\u2019s only one option. You need to do whatever you can to stop it. No silence. You need to speak up and act. You are loud instead of silent.<\/p>\n

This is an enormous act of courage. To be the person to say, \u201cNo. This is not happening\u201d in a situation like this may be risky, and will certainly be lonely. The high road is not well travelled.<\/p>\n

You don\u2019t need to do this alone. You should not do this alone. Again, find her friends and get them involved. Find the other person who will stand with you and say, \u201cThat\u2019s not right. That does not happen!\u201d At the party, in the park, by the lake or wherever you are, find those people who will stand with you. I promise they are there and they are waiting for someone to say something first. I think you\u2019ll find a lot of them in this room right now. If there\u2019s one person ready to be the first in, there are always a lot willing to follow.<\/p>\n

Somewhere in all of this, it\u2019s time to call your parents. Especially if speaking up or acting may put you at risk. And even if that\u2019s not the case. I promise you, as a father of three kids who\u2019ve been out in the real world, I promise you your parents or the trusted adult in your life will not be upset with you. They won\u2019t be mad that you\u2019re somewhere where drinking or drugs are going on and you need help. They will be ready to help. They will be glad to help. They will be proud of you for getting help. Tell them where you are and what\u2019s going on. Tell them you need them to help you stop this. Tell them you cannot and will not be silent.<\/p>\n

If saying no doesn\u2019t stop it, then you do what you do when there\u2019s an emergency to get help. You make something big happen. Pull a fire alarm. Break a window. Push the yellow strip on the subway. Someone being assaulted is an emergency and it requires a big, loud response.<\/p>\n

If you need to call an adult in this room, you can do that. If you need to call me, you call me. At the end of this talk I\u2019m going to give you permission to pull out your phone and take my number. Hundreds of RSGC kids have my cell number and I\u2019ve never, ever regretted sharing it. I have taken more than one call from a Georgian, at university who found himself a little out of his league and needed help. And I know I\u2019m not the only adult in this room who has done so. I love you. I will do it again.<\/p>\n

Today, you should go home and tell your parents that we talked about this in Chapel. \u201cMr. Beatty talked to us about the Cornell story. I will not be silent. But I might need your help.\u201d Tell them you want to be able to call them, without questions or consequences, to help you do the right thing in a situation like this. You can tell them Mr. Beatty said so.<\/p>\n

This is a tough conversation. I wish we didn\u2019t have to have it. But we do because we live in the real world and we simply can\u2019t be silent. I know you. I know that\u2019s the kind of man you want to be and the kind of man you will be.<\/p>\n

The full text can be read here<\/a>. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Open this photo in gallery: Stephen Beatty, headmaster at Royal St. George\u2019s School in Toronto, urged his students…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":928431,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[194291],"tags":[49,48,45877,2922,1008,3302],"class_list":["post-928430","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-toronto","tag-ca","tag-canada","tag-lc-g","tag-noastack","tag-pleasemod","tag-toronto"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/928430","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=928430"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/928430\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/928431"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=928430"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=928430"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=928430"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}