Your new film The Ballad Of Wallis Island scores an impressive 96% on Rotten Tomatoes. Who would you most like to hurl 96 rotten tomatoes at?<\/p>\n
Do I have to hurl them at the same person, or can I split them? Can they be living or dead? Let\u2019s take 40 to hurl at Hitler. I wouldn\u2019t mind keeping 10 back just in case I need to hurl them at a random person. That leaves 46. How rotten are they? Maybe I\u2019ll eat 10, which leaves 36. Is there anyone I can help you with?<\/p>\n
Plenty. Although we\u2019re on Zoom, so I\u2019d need my rotten tomatoes to be virtual.<\/p>\n
Well, I\u2019m your man. I can go round if you like. Else I think I\u2019ve done everything I need to. The other 36 go down the garbage chute, I\u2019m afraid.<\/p>\n
In Peep Show, your character was thrown in a lift in your sleeping bag and water-boarded by Mark, Jez and Super Hans. Have you ever been rudely evicted in real life?<\/p>\n
I was rudely evicted in Edinburgh about four years ago, where I am now. They threw me out and my stuff was gone thank to some scandalous landlords. I think I managed to grab one bag of stuff, but when I went back to get the rest, it was gone. Definitely lost in that transaction was a very nice radio. The writing on the wall really was when I arrived and they had a toilet roll holder in the lounge. I don\u2019t know what was going on in that place. You never know quite where you\u2019re going to get with Edinburgh accommodation. I\u2019m here now.<\/a><\/p>\n Who last addressed you as \u201cTimothy?\u201d<\/p>\n A nurse on Tuesday.<\/p>\n What\u2019s the shortest poem you\u2019ve ever written?<\/p>\n \u201cTanya Googled herself. Still nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n You\u2019re also about to star in follow-up to the US version of The Office, The Paper, which follows the staff at a small-town American newspaper. What would you do if you were editor of the Guardian for the day?<\/p>\n I don\u2019t really read newspapers. I just buy them to do the crossword. I think I\u2019d probably make the Guardian bigger again, because it\u2019s small now. I\u2019d make it an unwieldy, difficult thing to read, and put the cryptic crossword on the back page. The sports section currently is wrapped up in the culture section. I\u2019d free that, because that\u2019s the only bit that I really read.<\/p>\n You also play Sidekick Simon to Alan Partridge. What does Steve Coogan smell like?<\/p>\n I imagine Partridge smells lightly of Brut aftershave. Coogan: a more high-end aftershave.<\/p>\n Tim Key as Sidekick Simon and Steve Coogan as Alan Partridge in Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa. Photograph: Baby Cow\/Kobal\/Shutterstock<\/p>\n What\u2019s been your most cringeworthy run-in with a celebrity? <\/p>\n I guess it\u2019s when you fanboy someone, isn\u2019t it? I\u2019ve since met Mike Atherton, the [former] England cricket captain, and he was lovely. But I was at a book signing in Cheltenham and \u2013 you tell me if this is cringeworthy \u2013 my friend and I followed him at safe distance to a pub and then sat at a safe distance on a different table. I think it\u2019s really cringeworthy because you get people who pluck up the courage to say: \u201cI think you\u2019re fantastic.\u201d But I didn\u2019t even have that courage. I just sort of sat nearby. I wasn\u2019t even close enough to tell you what aftershave he was wearing.<\/p>\n Please explain the virtues of the humble fig roll, a biscuit you have famously been pictured eating in the past.<\/p>\n It\u2019s a fantastic biscuit. The best part is that you can kid yourself into thinking it\u2019s healthy because it does have fruit in it. So the optics are good. It is not a dark chocolate McVitie\u2019s digestive situation which you clearly know is bad for you because of the chocolate. Also, it\u2019s a very nice hard biscuit. There\u2019s some crunch to it, but it\u2019s very good for dipping in coffee. It softens very quickly and I would say is certainly in my top three biscuits at this stage.<\/p>\n