{"id":954300,"date":"2026-11-01T12:02:15","date_gmt":"2026-11-01T12:02:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/954300\/"},"modified":"2026-11-01T12:02:15","modified_gmt":"2026-11-01T12:02:15","slug":"death-cafes-help-people-normalize-death","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/954300\/","title":{"rendered":"Death cafes help people normalize death"},"content":{"rendered":"

Free events that take place across Canada, and around the world, are helping people accept the statement: \u201cdeath is a part of life.\u201d<\/p>\n

For over a decade, \u201cdeath caf\u00e9s\u201d have taken place in coffee shops, community centres, libraries and even cemeteries, to help people get comfortable confronting the topic of death. <\/p>\n

\u201c(Death is) taboo, it\u2019s uncomfortable to talk about with people that you love,\u201d said Linda Stuart<\/a>, who started hosting some of the first death caf\u00e9s in Canada, in Toronto in 2013. <\/p>\n

Stuart has grown up around death her whole life. Her father worked as a supplier to the funeral industry, and she currently works as a funeral celebrant, a similar role to what a minister would do at a funeral, but done in a secular manner. <\/p>\n

So, volunteering to host death caf\u00e9s felt like a natural fit. <\/p>\n

What is a death caf\u00e9 – and what it\u2019s not<\/p>\n

Death caf\u00e9s were inspired by Swiss sociologist Bernard Crettaz, who championed the idea of talking about life\u2019s tough issues in informal setting. A British man named Jon Underwood<\/a>, who passed away in 2017, is credited with founding the death caf\u00e9 movement in 2011, and helping popularize it internationally. <\/p>\n

Underwood made guidelines<\/a> that were meant to be followed for those volunteering to organize them: Death caf\u00e9s must be free to attend, they aren\u2019t meant to be promotional for those facilitating or attending, the conversation should be organic and unguided, with no guest speakers or themed talks, and there should be hot beverages and refreshments on offer.<\/p>\n

Death caf\u00e9s also aren\u2019t intended to be a space for people to grieve.<\/p>\n

Nadine Lavoie<\/a>, who regularly hosts death caf\u00e9s in Toronto, explained that grief groups tend to work as a support group led by a professional to facilitate conversation and help attendees express their challenging feelings.<\/p>\n

But at a death caf\u00e9, the facilitators do not lead the conversation. Instead, they \u201cfacilitate the space and make sure that the guidelines of the death caf\u00e9s are respected.\u201d<\/p>\n

Attendees are instructed not to make judgements, so people can freely express thoughts on death and dying. Then, they are divided into smaller groups, so conversations are more intimate. <\/p>\n

Some of the questions that would come up in the groups hosted by Stuart included: \u201cWhat is a good death? How do I want my family to feel? What do I want my funeral to look like? How do I hope I die?\u201d<\/p>\n

For Lavoie, volunteering to host a death caf\u00e9 in Toronto seemed like a logical thing to do. She describes her job as a \u201cspecial flight attendant,\u201d as she helps people nearing the end of their lives to prepare for that final step. <\/p>\n

After attending her first death caf\u00e9 over a decade ago, she came away amazed by the experience of speaking about death in an accepting and relaxed environment. She said that many death caf\u00e9 organizers are invested in the topic. <\/p>\n

\u201cMost people who host those events, have some kind of an interest in the matter of life and death, or death and dying,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

A multi-generational gathering <\/p>\n

As for the people attending, Stuart – who stopped facilitating death caf\u00e9s when the pandemic hit – said the groups she hosted attracted a wide range of people.<\/p>\n

\u201cOne of the ones I did, there was a girl that was 19 and then you\u2019d have people there in their 80s as well,\u201d she said. <\/p>\n

Lavoie\u2019s groups have also ranged in age \u201cfrom 20 to 100.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSometimes you have elderlies who show up and say \u2018We tried to have these conversations with our families but we\u2019ve been shut down, so we come to these places so we can talk about it normally,\u2019\u201d she said. <\/p>\n

Lavoie added that there\u2019s always laughter at the death caf\u00e9s that she\u2019s hosted. <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not gruesome, but the opposite,\u201d she said. \u201cHaving those conversations makes you realize that life is not infinite and to make something of this time. That\u2019s what often comes out from those conversation.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Free events that take place across Canada, and around the world, are helping people accept the statement: \u201cdeath…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":954301,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[712,49,48,44],"class_list":["post-954300","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-canada","tag-apple-news","tag-ca","tag-canada","tag-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/954300","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=954300"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/954300\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/954301"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=954300"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=954300"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/ca\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=954300"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}