You have to step back and let the families do it for themselves

A well-known figure on the professional rugby stage for two decades, Donncha O’Callaghan is now a firm fixture on one of the country’s favourite TV programmes.

For six years, he has been a coach on Ireland’s Fittest Family, and as the remaining families battle it out in the final on Sunday, he says this year was one of the most enjoyable yet.

“I loved making the programme this year,” he says. “Maybe because I’m a little more confident and I’m enjoying having some ex-teammates like Andrew Trimble with me because we are well used to each other and can [communicate] without even talking — you know when you know by someone’s eyes what they’re thinking about a situation.

“I also really enjoyed all the families this year — as well as being super fit and competitive, they were all really nice as well. It’s harsh to say it, but that’s not always the case, as sometimes the competitive juices go a little over the top, and it can bring out the worst in people.”

The Ireland rugby star, who is married to Jennifer Harte, says that working on the series, which is filmed during the summer months, can be tough when it involves “recording back to back”, but despite the demands on family life, he doesn’t find the filming too taxing, physically or mentally, as he’s there simply “to facilitate rather than take over”.

“You have to step back and let the families do it for themselves, you can’t grow a leg for them,” he laughs. “It’s about knowing where you can help and get behind people, and also knowing when you need to have a pop at the family dynamic — because as an outsider, you see things that are holding people back. They could have a blind spot and think it’s normal, or defer to one family member because of their age, when in fact someone else might be a better leader, which can be hard for them to swallow.

Of course, everyone wants to win it, but it’s important to recognise that it’s often enough for them just to get some great family bonding moments.

Both in his sporting career and in his current role, the Corkman has witnessed incredible displays of physical and mental determination, and says, “the ability for people to go beyond is quite incredible”.

“One of the standout families for me would have to be the McSharrys from Sligo, who won the series in 2019. You could just see they were different,” he says. “But every year we see something remarkable, and for me this year was Aoibhe Linehan on the plank, which is coming up this weekend. What I loved was that she wanted to take on all the lads. She didn’t view it as a gender thing and just thought that she could do it better than the others.

Cork-based Linehan family – Diarmuid, Aoibhe, Ruairí and Seán – with coach Donncha O’Callaghan, are competing in the final of Ireland’s Fittest Family on Sunday night. 

“But there’s always self-doubt and what I call family protection, where people are thinking ‘that’s my little girl’ or ‘that’s my sister’ and they want to mind her. But she was just thinking ‘I’ve got this’. It was great.

“This sort of mindset only usually happens in special teams who really care about each other because there is an unshakeable bond there. As a coach, it’s great to be part of that.”

He is full of praise for the Lenihans, who he says are “incredibly fit with loads of that Cork edge to keep going”, adding they gave it “absolutely everything.”

A father of four, he knows how important trust can be and says he has learned to let his team know what to expect from him. And although his role doesn’t involve much physical preparation, he has had to learn to feel at ease in front of the camera.

“Over the past few years, I’ve gained confidence when it comes to chatting to camera as I used to find it very daunting,” he admits. “The rugby environment was very different to something like Ireland’s Fittest Family, as you have to entertain people in their sitting rooms on a Sunday night, and they don’t want to hear any dressing room shouting. They might want a bit of that, but they also want to have a laugh

“I’ve learned to be a bit more relaxed and just be myself. I can credit Davy (Fitzgerald) and Anna (Geary)with that as they really get me, and it’s also great having Andrew (Trimble), Eleanor (Keane) and Michael Darragh (MacAuley) as well — although they all slag me because I’m not one of the originals, saying I’m just a young pup.”

He has passed his love of sport onto his children — Sophie (15), Anna (13), Robin (12) and Jake (10) — and says the key to achieving this is to lead by example.

“This is so much better than dictating to your kids,” he says.

If my kids see me being active, eating healthily, and just keeping good habits, it reaffirms the message much more than me banging on about it or laying down the law.

“Of course, I’ve been the dad who’s put my foot down about not giving up on things, but I’ve also been the dad who might say ‘forget it, let’s go for ice-cream’— it’s all about balance, and parenting is hard because you never know if you’re getting it right.”

When it comes to his own fitness, the 46-year-old says he’s been “lucky” always to be around great coaches.

“It’s a lot easier for professional sportspeople because we have all the help and motivation we need. It’s much harder to stay on course in the real world. But it’s good to know that if you earn a night out or a few treats then you’ll appreciate it a lot more. So, do the exercise or the sport, but then also have some time out as well.

“And that is what I’ll be doing for Christmas — watching some movies with the kids, enjoying some selection boxes and also cooking, because I like going into the kitchen for a while as it is a bit of a respite from socialising. I’m looking forward to some family time in the days ahead.”

The final of Ireland’s Fittest Family airs Sunday, December 21, at 6.30pm on RTÉ One and RTÉ Player